I have just returned from Sydney, where we have opened several DIDs groups over the past couple of weeks. It never ceases to amaze me, the guys I meet along the way. Absolutely awesome dads who, although they struggle on a daily basis to see their kids and hold down a job, they volunteer some personal time to help other guys who may be struggling as well. It’s awesome to see, ...

It is nearly forty years ago since the first known father, an Australian, applied for legal custody of a baby girl and was subsequently granted legal custody of his baby daughter by the Supreme Court of New South Wales. Though this father was granted legal custody of his baby daughter by the Supreme Court of New South Wales, the Department of Community Welfare and the Department of Social Security of the ...

I was speaking at a DIDS meeting in rural New South Wales last night and I was commending the group for becoming real lifesavers in reaching out to each other in support. I told them that this country was once renowned for its mateship, and sadly I believe we have lost that somehow. We have lost the knowledge of what being a mate is all about. It is my belief that ...

(A goodbye letter written by a mate.) Dear Jane, Even though it will probably take you only five minutes to read this, if you read it at all, it took me a long time to write it. It also took a lot of courage to speak my mind and my heart. I hope you don’t see this as an attack on you, it’s not. Forgive me for my anger, it’s necessary. ...

Below are just a few of the emails that I have been swamped with since sending out the notice of public hearings for Wednesday and Thursday, today. Many are from women. ALL are of disgust. Where is the representation from men’s groups, you ask? Easy — they obviously didn’t want you there. DIDS received this notice today, and it was forwarded from a friend, not from the Attorney-General’s Department. The hearings ...

Firstly, I would like to thank all of you who contact me; it’s your support and kindness that keeps me going. I was out on the town one night this past week. One of our volunteers is a muso, and he and his band were playing a gig in a local hotel. It was a great night, mainly because of the fact that a whole lot of our other volunteers turned ...

Wow, what a few weeks. Parkinson’s Taskforce Release of suggested reforms, Four Corners, Fatherhood Forum 05, The Lonefathers Conference, the Attorney General’s release of suggested reforms. Receiving a beautiful plaque from the Fatherhood Forum in Parliament House for our DIDs work.  My son telling me he is proud of me, my daughter sending me an email of how wonderful she thinks I am, doing the work I do. That she loves ...

In the coming weeks and months, we as mothers, fathers, children, grandparents and families await the Government’s answers to the proposed reforms within Family Law and within the Child Support Scheme. We have been waiting patiently, even though we have been experiencing the very same thing this grandmother (below) so graciously describes. We as responsible fathers have been supporting our children, and yet are denied the right to have a relationship ...

I was travelling through Queensland a few weeks ago opening new Dads in Distress groups, and was convening a meeting that was being held in the back of a new church that had been established in an industrial estate. It was a new meeting and so we didn’t know what to expect, how many would turn up or what would happen. As I sat there at the back of this huge ...

Please read this attached e-mail that I sent to 60 Minutes in an effort to try and get any help or understanding. It is hard to find a reason to go on when even your cry for help is told to be quiet. Dear Sixty Minutes, Please, you have got to listen! Just read through this e-mail at least. You must be aware of, or at least heard comment made of, ...

Today, the Sydney paper carried a story of a well-known identity, Rene Rivkin, who suicided weeks after splitting from his wife of 32 years. It was front-page news in most of the major papers. A local newspaper here carried a similar sad story of death. It was a well-known local radio announcer here. The newspaper here failed to say what had happened, only that the death was considered not suspicious. We, ...

Tonight is the start of the school holidays; I am allowed to pick up my son.  I feel extremely emotional about this, because I know only too well what it feels like when these times come for men who are deprived of the opportunity to spend time with their little ones. It took a court order to get to this point. What a shame, what a shame on this society, that ...

I’m tired. Last night I had just driven from Coffs Harbour to hold a DIDs (Dads in Distress) meeting in Forster, and returned in the early hours of the morning. I am on the road a lot. My car is my office, often it’s also my dressing room, and often it’s my bedroom. Often on the long hauls, I find myself talking to a very special passenger. My Lord, my Higher ...

It is not the actual divorce that hurts families. It is the pain of finding guilt in one another as divorcing couples. The fighting, the yelling, the attacking of one another’s character is what causes trauma in children and friends. Some people’s mistake is to either marry the wrong person or think they have married the wrong person. The problem then so often lies in couples trying to blame the other ...

The Attorney General has released a discussion paper on Family Law Reform. Take the time, read it and put a submission in to: www.ag.gov.au Think about parallel parenting. Why can’t it work here? We are coming up to Christmas. Many dads won’t be seeing their kids for Christmas — someone else may be handing out their presents from under the tree this year. While you are having Christmas dinner or while you ...

That which has been is that which will be, And that which has been done is that which will be done, So, there is nothing new under the sun. This observation was written in about 935 BC. It is as true today as it was then. Its modern equivalent is the saying, “History always repeats itself.” Last week’s article revealed the similarities in the responses to the introduction of two parliamentary ...

Mahatma Gandhi once said that when facing adversaries, they first ignore you, then they fight you and then you win. Those people who despair at the apparent lack of progress in the fight for social justice for separated families need to take heart from Gandhi’s observation. We have successfully accomplished the first stage of the battle: they’re ignoring us.  If you doubt this success, then read the report by the parliamentary ...

The best decisions about the care, welfare and support of children are those made by their parents. However, the Child Support Agency has decided that it should take over this role. As a result, I know plenty of non-custodial fathers (and one mother) who not only have no intention of ever paying child support, but also do everything they possibly can to avoid it. I’m one of them. What do you ...

Many people have a solid, ingrained resistance to change, particularly when that change doesn’t align with the way they think. Our understanding and perception of the world around us is, to a large degree moulded by the culture of our age. When we look back to another age, another time and culture, we are often horrified by how the reasoning of the proponents of change has been trivialised, debunked or ignored. ...

The subbie was a weathered man in his late 50s with big, calloused hands and knobbly knees. His offsider was a skinny, tearaway kid with wraparound sunglasses and a hotted-up Holden. Watching them work at our house over a few weeks was an instructive experience. They were obviously on good terms with one another, and occasionally there was even a bit of leg-pulling. But there was no doubt about who was ...