Love & Marriage

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The resources section of the Dads4Kids website is a forum for Dads to be able to express themselves and encourage other dads. Mothers contribute resources as well. The opinions of the various writers in this section are not necessarily the opinion of Dads4Kids. Read More

Resources
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  • apology

The Art of Apology

Have you ever experienced the situation when someone has apologised but, while the words were said it lacked something, making it difficult for you to accept it? Sadly, most of us are not as good at apologising as we need to be. We think that it’s obvious, should just be instinctual, or that our love should somehow make it magically ...

  • love is a battlefield

Love is a Battlefield

Editorial Note: Songs capture moments and sometimes the moments live on. ‘Love is a Battlefield’ is such a song from the eighties that people still sing today and for good reason. The truth hurts and the truth heals. Listen if you dare. ~~~ We are young, heartache to heartache we stand No promises, no demands Love is a battlefield We ...

  • passion

Passion and Domesticity

One of the greatest challenges couples face in our contemporary age is the presumption of sexual excitement. When the romance wanes, marriages are at risk -- but what’s a couple to do when passion is in decline? We’re all in favour of a vibrant and passionate sex life for couples -- however, it’s not always easy to sustain the passion ...

Victory for Mothers and Fathers

Believe it or not, any victory for mothers is also a victory for fathers, and ultimately for children. Sall Dover, a new young mother, after protesting on Twitter about the forced use of the Orwellian phrase "birthing parent", has scored a victory for motherhood. It takes a man and a woman to create a child, and a mother and a ...

  • love

The Most Beautiful Woman in the World – the Art of Eternal Love

Keeping the flame of love alive in your marriage through the years, is the best gift you can give your children -- a daily example of how to cherish their mother, no matter what life brings. “It will never happen to me”; “No way -- too much fun to have”; “Hey boys, did you hear about Johnno getting hitched? (cue ...

  • heaven

Finding Our Way to Heaven

We’ve been listening to Mike and Alicia Hernon’s podcast called Messy Families. One of their recurring messages for parents is: stop worrying about getting your kids to heaven -- parenting is about helping you get there! When we first heard them say this it stopped us in our tracks. Mike and Lisa go on to explain: the reason motherhood or ...

  • emotions

Deep Impact Conversations

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’ conversation. Such exchanges are important ...

  • passion

The Passion Principle

One of the great delights of running marriage enrichment retreats for couples is hearing all the amazing love stories. From beginning to end, every one of them has mystery, radical self-sacrifice and epic persistence in some capacity. We often joke that our own love story is more akin to a soap opera than real life, but after hearing hundreds of ...

  • business

Business Lessons for Marriage

Doing business requires finesse in communicating with your clients. Similar skills and strategies can be applied to your relationship with your spouse. Byron’s life-long career has been as an advisor to large companies on their strategic directions. As an outsider to the company trying to help its leaders make difficult decisions on their business strategy, he deals with difficult issues ...

  • intentional relationships

Intentional Relationship

No matter how easy it is to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. Most people drift into love, marriage and family without a whole lot of conscious planning about the kind of relationship they want to have five, ten or twenty years down the track. Whether you are married, engaged or dating, it is never too ...

  • relationships matter

Relationships Matter: Keys to Be a Good Father & Build a Good Marriage

Harvey MacKay said, “The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.” MacKay knows a thing or two. Harvey is a very successful businessman, married for over 50 years to his architect wife, with three children and eleven grandchildren. Harvey MacKay has sold over 10 million books about business and building a successful life. Interviewing Steve ...

  • resilient marriage

Three Ways to a Resilient Marriage

We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly a lot of stress going around with pandemic-induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience -- the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite a bit of information on ...

  • little things

The Little Things in Marriage

In marriage, the little things are really the big things. In business, it is well recognised that getting the ‘big things right’ is important, but it is often the so-called ‘little things’ that make the difference between good and great companies. We were reminded of this the other day when reading about a US company that specialises in disaster restoration. ...

  • unity

Unity in Couple Decision-Making

Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value -- something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late, may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing financial debt, avoiding anticipated ...

  • family love

Love is the Greatest Force in the Universe

“Love is the greatest force in the universe”. These are the words of Dr Martin Luther King, America’s greatest civil rights leader. Dr King was assassinated in 1968 and so proved these words in unmistakable fashion. Twenty years ago, on 1 May 2002, Dads4Kids was officially incorporated as a charitable association. Our mission remains the same as it was then. ...

  • love

Discover Your Unique Love Profile

How do you and your spouse prefer to receive love, and what makes you feel unloved? Here is a quick list to help you boost the quality of your marriage by better understanding one another. Do you know your love needs and love busters? Do the quiz below to determine your top five love needs and worst three love busters. ...

  • vocation

The Vocation of Marriage: Called to Greatness

In marriage, we have received a higher calling, to give wholly of ourselves to another human being, exemplifying divine love. Let our marriage be a witness to our spouse, our children and others, of the marvellous love which is possible between a man and a woman. The word ‘vocation’ comes from the Latin vocare, which means ‘to call’. Our primary ...

  • love

The Science of Falling in Love

Falling in love is a common experience and a wonderful one. It sweeps us up in a euphoric passion that dominates our thoughts day and night. But is there more to it than simple emotions?   Romantic love, and its impact on us, has been the subject of study for millennia. Philosophers from ancient times have mused on it, theologians have divined it and poets have waxed lyrical about it.   More recently, ...

  • mums

Video: A New Perspective For Mums

A lovely video to share as we celebrate mums this Mother's Day weekend. Any mother will tell you that being a mum is a full-time job. And sometimes, the job can really test you. Some feel as though they have no patience left, or that they’re somehow failing as a parent. But what’s the other side of the story? https://vimeo.com/66058153 ...

  • change reaction

Change Reaction

Start a "change reaction" in your relationship by changing yourself first. It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship -- it eats away at our intimacy by destroying our willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other. Insanity has ...

  • trust

Five Ways to Build Trust

Managing each other's expectations in a relationship can be challenging, but here are five steps to building the trust required for a solid foundation from which you can grow together. Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do, so it’s easy for ...

  • commitment

Two Types of Commitment

In his book The Power of Commitment, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave the relationship. Constraints tend to ...

  • marriages

Our Many Marriages

We all understand that our marriages go through their ups and downs, but we often don’t appreciate that they also go through fundamental reconfigurations over the years. We have come to realise that we have actually had several marriages already in our 28+ years together. For example, there was the ‘newlywed marriage’ where we were building a new life together, ...

  • marriage

A Marriage of Contention

Marriage is the coming together of two individuals, with natural differences. Loving honesty in communication helps us to grow together as one. What seems hard in marriage is often doing us good. A few weeks ago, we were invited to attend an event featuring Jordan Peterson. Curious to see this Canadian psychologist and academic, who was touring Australia with sell-out ...

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