Love & Marriage

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The resources section of the Dads4Kids website is a forum for Dads to be able to express themselves and encourage other dads. Mothers contribute resources as well. The opinions of the various writers in this section are not necessarily the opinion of Dads4Kids. Read More

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  • marriage - soul mate

Keeping Our Eyes on What Matters

Every engaged couple needs to discern their own path. Downsize, divide, delay, or go deluxe – whatever path they decide in this era of uncertainty, the vows they make on their wedding day will be one thing that stays the same.

  • quality time

Be My Valen-time!

Modern relationships are plagued by busyness. And when our relationship is neglected, we often end up arguing during the little time we do spend together. With Valentine’s Day approaching, it’s the perfect opportunity to give the gift of time.

  • resolutions

Resolutions to Have and to Hold

Inherent to the New Year resolution is the idea of becoming a better person. No sane person aspires to drink more or learn how to smoke as a New Year goal. Yet, so many of us fail to create the permanent change in ourselves that we seek. Why is that?

  • closing the gap on marital distancing

Closing the Gap on Marital Distancing

Why then, when we were in lockdown and spending so much more time together at home, were we not seeing improvements in our marital outcomes? We have a couple of theories...  

  • bids for connection

Bids for Connection

Bids for Connection can include doing a task the other will appreciate but not expect, a word of affirmation or appreciation. They are simple gestures that are an invitation to move forward together.

  • fire

Marriage on Fire

Every marriage, ours included, has ‘bad fire seasons’. It’s inevitable; when two people commit their lives to each other and then get busy, tired and stressed, we can only expect trouble.

  • social skills

It’s All About Me… Not!

Good social skills teach us to be other-focussed in our conversation and to be attentive to cues from the other about whether we are engaging their interest.

  • New Year resolutions

Make Some New Year Resolutions

One of the most important resolutions we can make is to give our marriages and relationships higher priority. The most vital and satisfying marriages are intentional. They don’t leave their relationship to chance, but actively foster habits which deepen their intimacy.

  • positive couple

For Better is Important Too

Optimistic couples have learnt that passion and joy in marriage is not always spontaneous but it can be, and needs to be, cultivated. Our hearts long for companionship in both the sorrows and joys of our lives.

  • change - loving marriage

Three Keys to a Successful Marriage

Staying married requires a life-long commitment to keep learning. It seems to me that once you think you know it all, you will find you know nothing. Humility is the prerequisite for growth as a person. The same is true for your marriage.

  • Advent

Confessions of an Advent Failure

When it comes to nourishing our relationships, doing more is often exactly the wrong thing. Sometimes we need to do less, to retreat so as to advance.

  • contempt

Displacing Contempt with Respect

Contempt has been identified as a corrosive relationship pattern among couples headed for bust. An expression of despisal, contempt is the toxic cousin to criticism.

  • married

I’m Not the Same Woman He Married

In my opinion, there’s nothing more attractive than a man who’s a great dad. Becoming parents has brought out parts of ourselves we would never have known were there.

  • waiting

Love in the Waiting

Waiting teaches us humility and patience – essential virtues for healthy relationships. It opens a space for reflecting, allowing us to stop ‘doing’ and to simply be aware… of ourselves, our world, the person before us.

  • wedding

Wedding Stress Tamed!

Planning a wedding is busy and stressful. There’s lots to think about and lots of factors to consider in every decision: the budget, the aesthetic, and the cost-benefit analysis.

  • spouse

Perfectly Imperfect Marriages

Despite the promises of Hollywood and fairytales, the perfect marriage is the one that helps us grow the most. And that’s not likely to be a marriage without hardship or trouble.

  • conversation

Softly Spoken Wins the Heart

Having a difficult conversation is sometimes necessary. All couples need to be able to maturely address issues ranging from selfishness, neglect, or simple differences of opinion.

  • conflict

Marital Conflict Gone Global

When conflict arises in a marriage, it’s not uncommon for us to seek validation for being upset. So, we look for ways to strengthen our case and justify our complaint against the other.

  • why

The Power of Why

Rather than just burying it or pushing harder into an argument, we try to take a step back to privately ask ourselves some why questions: why am I reacting this way? Where is this coming from?

  • single

The Single-Minded Search

Sometimes, single people ask us for suggestions on how to find a suitable marriage partner. Here’s a thought we often ask them to consider.

  • way

The Easy Way?

Is the easy way always the best way? Or might we be called to something more than what we inherited from our families?

  • frustrated

Frustrated Marriage

Over the past decade, we’ve frequently had frustrated husbands or wives approach us for help. This led us to create the BreakThrough course for individual spouses in distressed marriages.

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