It is not the actual divorce that hurts families. It is the pain of finding guilt in one another as divorcing couples. The fighting, the yelling, the attacking of one another’s character is what causes trauma in children and friends.

Some people’s mistake is to either marry the wrong person or think they have married the wrong person. The problem then so often lies in couples trying to blame the other person for their own perceived mistake, with sometimes horrendous outcomes.

Communication is the answer.

Validation of each other’s position must be heard, and acceptance that no-one other than our beloved Jesus Christ is perfect must be realised.

My ex-wife is the mother of my beautiful children, and there is nothing that can change that. When I look at them, I see the gift God has given me through this sometimes impossible person. I cannot help thanking God for bringing us together for a time to allow these wonderful children to be born.

For me, it is enough to swallow my sin of pride, and honour that one, simple fact.

God created these wonderful children through our relationship, so no matter what, He will protect them. Children are a gift from God — honour them as such. Do not own them, but honour them, for sooner or later, we all must be accountable to God for all our deeds and thoughts.

God sees the pain in your heart that other people cause you, or the pain you cause yourself. Be honest with yourself about what has happened and forgive others or yourself, and allow God to deal with the accountability, for He has far greater knowledge and wisdom than we can even perceive.

Search and reach out for God, for in His light is peace of heart, forgiveness of the soul and healing of the Spirit. Jesus alone made all this possible and more.

Be blessed,
Max Ray