(continued from part 1) The next question then becomes, why doesn’t this hard core group just pay up? Well of course, just as there are some taxpayers who will go to any lengths to avoid paying taxation, there will always be some who will adopt a similar attitude towards payment of child support. It is an unfortunate facet of human nature. But there are also wider issues involving such things as ...

It was fascinating to watch the media recently making a complete botch of facts (as per usual) in order to generate reader interest. This mangling of fact in favour of ‘readability appeal’ (fiction) happens all too frequently in our media — something that is costing us dearly as a society, as our perceptions of social reality become evermore distorted by the nonsense we read in newspapers. The recent reporting of child ...

A harsh statistic, which should be sobering and alarming to both legislators and their advisors, but has been largely ignored, is that about 40% of all payer clients held captive by the Child Support Agency (CSA) are effectively unemployed. Another statistic that appears to have also made no impact on government decision-makers is that 76% of all unemployed men receiving unemployment benefits are payer clients of the CSA. The cost of ...

I was 27 years old when, on my first day of teaching, I was presented with a class full of ten-year-old children. I remember thinking that I hadn’t seen or spoken to a ten-year-old since I was ten. I felt equally inadequate a few years later when I was handed my firstborn child. My knowledge of what was required of me was limited to an understanding that this creature was a ...

The observation that separated couples rarely get along with each other would come as no revelation to anyone. It is generally relationship problems that lead to the separation in the first place. Yet these relationship difficulties are often used by the Family Court as the basis for refusing shared parenting and for restricting a father’s contact with his children. I know of one case where a judge, who found no fault ...

I arrived home from school at about 4 pm one afternoon to find that my pigeons had been stolen, and one of the new chicks had been killed and was dead on the floor of the cage. I was 10 at the time. It was 1952 and we were living at 44 Canning Street, North Melbourne. I loved my pigeons. I had five excellent pairs and they all were good breeders. ...

While attending ANZAC Day dawn ceremonies just now, I was reminded of how little people understand the unknown/absent/single father from the poems that are read on ANZAC Day. I have re-written the originals slightly below, for those who are battling and those who have gone before, and for those who would like to understand the plight of the “unknown father” who daily still lays down his life. For The Fallen Laurence ...

When I was five years old, I lived at 302 Dryburgh Street, North Melbourne, and on Saturday mornings my Grandfather, William (Bill) Coyle would look after me while my mother worked in the city. My grandfather was about 162cm (5’4”) tall, and about as wide. His grandfather, a lawyer, had migrated from Ireland to Australia in the 1800s. They were good Catholics; my grandfather had 14 children, of which my dear ...

Here we go again — my second Single Dads article in almost 1½ years of the FathersOnline newsletter. I always said the first article wouldn’t be the last. What has brought on this sudden burst of ‘single father inspiration? Read Peter Duncan’s email in the News & Info section before you go any further to find out: Dear Dads4Kids Get off your ‘Unfair Child Support Blame the Family Court’ soap box. ...

Another piece of dad’s ‘irony’ was to allow me to do almost anything I liked (within the law), even take his new 1956, two-tone-green FJ Holden, registration GND 535 (that he would park in Kipling Street before leaving the keys on the ‘fridge’ and retiring to the lounge room to read the paper) for an unapproved drive past the milk bar where my mates were. He came out the next morning ...

I used to think that it was really tough of my dad to expect me, at age 18 (in 1958), to be home at 8:30 in the evenings on Thursday and Friday nights, so that my mother would feel secure in the house with my little sister. This had been the requirement for a number of years, and it included Tuesday and Sunday nights as well. The reason for this ‘cruel ...

Letter to the Prime Minister from The Lone Fathers Association of Australia Part Two The best interests of the child With a legal presumption of equal shared physical custody, a clear message would be sent by the Australian community to the divorce industry that a child is a human being with an inalienable right to equal parenting (including parenting time) by both its parents and a right to not have a ...

Letter to the Prime Minister from The Lone Fathers Association of Australia Part One General comments The LFAA, as the national peak body representing separated fathers and their children, wishes to inform you of our extreme disappointment with the Report on “Shared Custody” by the House of Representatives Committee on Family and Community Affairs released on 29 December 2003. While the fathers and children of Australia have asked for bread, the ...

All going well, I will receive access to my children sometime on Christmas Day. I don’t know whether for 1 hour, 1 day or 1 week. I have no court orders, choosing not to put my kids through it, and knowing by experience they are not worth the paper they are written on. There are many more like me. Most don’t get to see their kids over Christmas at all. I ...

Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea Joy to you and me! Here we come, into the holidays. My two independent elder children will be off with their friends. I will see little of them. My youngest will be at his mother’s this Christmas. I am grateful it is a rotation, but I can find it a bit hard. We will all try to be together for a meal ...

Here’s a nice message that comes from the Bible. It went the email rounds but was anonymous, so I can’t credit the scholar. In the very centre of the Bible, Psalm 118:8, it says (I like the Amplified version translated by Jewish scholars): It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord [God] than to put confidence in man [general term, men or women — humans in other words]. ...

Recently, I have been pondering the relevance of this statement in my own life. It has been a number of years since I separated, but I still struggle with a lack of vision for my life. It doesn’t really matter how you come to be separated from your children and their mother, I think at some time we all experience the same thing — a need to re-evaluate our vision for ...

Plan some time out for yourself — things you enjoy doing, with friends or alone. It maybe off to the sports arena, or the movies, or just a simple lunch at the fish markets. Try inviting some friends over if you can cook, or invite yourself over to some friends. It doesn’t have to be expensive to have fun. Cook yourself breakfast in bed, or have a video day. Plan some ...

A few years ago I was a happily married man — a beautiful wife, three sons, a home  that  was well on the way to being paid off, a job, and settled in the community.  We had just had our 10-year anniversary — a night on the town for the family.  A few bumps along the way, including some really tough surprises with our sons’ births, but everything was fine — ...

As I walked up the main street of Wollongong one day this week, I heard a voice cry out my name. It was an old friend of mine, whom I knew was now a single dad. He had experienced the full brunt of the Family Court’s injustice. His divorce was both painful and bitter. Simon had subsequently walked away from a very good job on the wharves and become another one ...