Keeping the flame of love alive in your marriage through the years, is the best gift you can give your children — a daily example of how to cherish their mother, no matter what life brings. “It will never happen to me”; “No way — too much fun to have”; “Hey boys, did you hear about Johnno getting hitched? (cue gasps of shock and unbelief)… he’s mad.” Who can remember as ...

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’ conversation. Such exchanges are important for coordinating our lives and avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings, but they don’t ...

How can a man kill his own beloved son? The murder of Luke Batty by his divorced father remains a haunting horror to this day. Yet, Luke’s mother Rosie recognised her ex-husband’s genuine affection for his son in happier times. On 12 February 2014, Luke Batty was killed by his own father. The event shocked me deeply at the time as a father. For many weeks after the event, I asked ...

Doing business requires finesse in communicating with your clients. Similar skills and strategies can be applied to your relationship with your spouse. Byron’s life-long career has been as an advisor to large companies on their strategic directions. As an outsider to the company trying to help its leaders make difficult decisions on their business strategy, he deals with difficult issues complicated by competing personal interests. Invariably, the advice involves change and ...

Being a mum can be a challenging role, but we parents have been entrusted with the vital task of raising the next generation, and it is totally worth it. Here are 5 life lessons about parenting and family life. 1. Tomorrow is a New Day! Cue little red-haired, ringlet-topped Annie singing, “The sun’ll come out tomorrow… so ya gotta hang on tïll tomorrow… I love ya Tomorrow! You’re always a day ...

No matter how easy it is to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. Most people drift into love, marriage and family without a whole lot of conscious planning about the kind of relationship they want to have five, ten or twenty years down the track. Whether you are married, engaged or dating, it is never too late to be more intentional in your relationship. Being proactive in ...

Harvey MacKay said, “The quality of your life is determined by the quality of your relationships.” MacKay knows a thing or two. Harvey is a very successful businessman, married for over 50 years to his architect wife, with three children and eleven grandchildren. Harvey MacKay has sold over 10 million books about business and building a successful life. Interviewing Steve Smith for the Dads4Kids podcasts reminded me a lot of Harvey ...

We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly a lot of stress going around with pandemic-induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience — the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite a bit of information on personal resilience, and it’s a buzzword in education these days, but ...

In marriage, the little things are really the big things. In business, it is well recognised that getting the ‘big things right’ is important, but it is often the so-called ‘little things’ that make the difference between good and great companies. We were reminded of this the other day when reading about a US company that specialises in disaster restoration. It jumps into action following a flood, tornado, or after fire ...

I was asked to share some of my experiences of being a dad. The only reason that I am doing so is that I was the first to say “yes” to the invitation. Your story is as unique as mine. Your tales of being a dad are equally special. Your own feelings about being a proud dad are as genuine as mine and your dad jokes are likely to be just ...

Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value — something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late, may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing financial debt, avoiding anticipated conflict at home, or being appreciated by colleagues All of these ...

An ex-con has set up a fantastic initiative called Mr. Dad’s Father’s Club, aiming to prevent fatherlessness from harming the next generation. By getting dads involved with their children’s education, Mr. Dad’s Father’s Club improves the lives of both father and child. The tragic mass shooting in Uvalde, Texas, along with the continuing body count from shootings in Chicago, Illinois, shines a spotlight on the urgency to answer the absent dad ...

“Love is the greatest force in the universe”. These are the words of Dr Martin Luther King, America’s greatest civil rights leader. Dr King was assassinated in 1968 and so proved these words in unmistakable fashion. Twenty years ago, on 1 May 2002, Dads4Kids was officially incorporated as a charitable association. Our mission remains the same as it was then. Our main focus is still a better life for our children: ...

How do you and your spouse prefer to receive love, and what makes you feel unloved? Here is a quick list to help you boost the quality of your marriage by better understanding one another. Do you know your love needs and love busters? Do the quiz below to determine your top five love needs and worst three love busters. Love Need: A behaviour or gesture which communicates love to you ...

In marriage, we have received a higher calling, to give wholly of ourselves to another human being, exemplifying divine love. Let our marriage be a witness to our spouse, our children and others, of the marvellous love which is possible between a man and a woman. The word ‘vocation’ comes from the Latin vocare, which means ‘to call’. Our primary vocation, the one we all share, is the vocation to holiness. ...

Falling in love is a common experience and a wonderful one. It sweeps us up in a euphoric passion that dominates our thoughts day and night. But is there more to it than simple emotions?   Romantic love, and its impact on us, has been the subject of study for millennia. Philosophers from ancient times have mused on it, theologians have divined it and poets have waxed lyrical about it.   More recently, it has become a subject of interest to scientists from the fields of psychology, sociology and neurobiology. Consequently, we ...

Start a “change reaction” in your relationship by changing yourself first. It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship — it eats away at our intimacy by destroying our willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other. Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over while ...

Let us love our fathers and bear patiently with them in their old age, just as they were patient and loving with us in our infancy. It is hard to explain the love a father has for his children. This story called ‘Father’s Love’, found on a website hosting thousands of stories from all over the world, does a great job. “An 80-year-old man was sitting on the sofa in his ...

Managing each other’s expectations in a relationship can be challenging, but here are five steps to building the trust required for a solid foundation from which you can grow together. Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do, so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what ...

In his book The Power of Commitment, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave the relationship. Constraints tend to accumulate with the relationship and begin from very early on, before ...