Anniversaries aren’t just for reminiscing about a past event. They are an opportunity to forge new memories together and cherish one another with expressions of true love. As critical as I am about New Year’s resolutions and the feckless sentimentalism attached, I am not averse to using January to prepare for key anniversaries. These key calendar events spark hope in the midst of the dull, back-to-work, post-Christmas grind. An anniversary is ...

My son’s many allergies have been a trial. In learning to alleviate his pain, and watching him bear patiently with discomfort, I have found a depth of strength and love which I never knew I had. ‘We’ll have to shut down the whole clinic for the afternoon,’ she said, annoyed. ‘Well, you just go ahead and do that,’ I thought, annoyed. But didn’t say it. My 11-month-old had suddenly developed a ...

We’ve all been in that situation. A friend or relative confides in us that they are having some marriage trouble. We want to help but knowing what to do that is genuinely helpful is tricky. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. Use your best listening skills: give your full attention, validate the thoughts, emotions and needs expressed: “What I hear you saying is…” While it’s important for your ...

A family needs other families for friendship, support and mentoring, especially in hard times. It takes a village to raise a child, and it also takes a village to sustain a family. Be open to growing alongside other families, sharing love and care for one another. Recently my wife and I received a message from a close friend of ours, “Mum’s condition has rapidly deteriorated and she is now just sleeping… ...

Nobody is perfect, and familiarity breeds contempt. It is far too easy to resent family members when they fall short of our expectations, especially when we are under stressful conditions. Pausing to examine your negative thoughts and put them in perspective can save your mental health and your marriage. There’s nothing like the turnover of the year for stimulating lifestyle re-evaluation. How can we make the Christmas spirit of ‘peace and ...

Our marriages deserve our very best, not just the dregs of ourselves. Take the opportunity this Christmas season and New Year to establish better habits and re-prioritise your loved ones. It’s that time of year again — the season of joy and gluttony. By the time Christmas Day is over, our refrigerator will be filled with yummy, delectable leftovers. Unfortunately, not all leftovers are so delicious. Too often in a marriage, ...

Christmas is a blessed season to pause and soak in the loving presence of your family, recalling the quiet joy of the first Christmas in the humble abode of the Holy Family. As the song says, “Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year.” For many families, this is true. You see, kids love family. It’s what they instinctively long for. Christmas is really the celebration of what many in ...

God stepped into the messiness of humanity through His very human family, full of scandalous forebears. This Christmas, let us imitate Jesus and love our family members despite how annoying they may get! The Christmas Vigil Mass features the Gospel of Matthew (1:1-25). Depending on whether you get the long or short version, you might hear the genealogy of Jesus Christ — a rather long list of the forebears of Jesus, ...

Think about your “I do” and make it a daily one. Ask, what will “I do” for my marriage today? It’s a powerful strategy for both the good times and the bad. At a recent business conference, a speaker made an offhand remark about having to recommit to her marriage vows every day. It was in the context of a discussion about the challenges of change management and how reforming a company ...

It happens all the time: one of us does or says something and the other is triggered, reacting harshly. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to develop the virtue of restraint. While it is often associated with Buddhist meditation, mindfulness has actually been a feature of many religions under different names, including Christianity. It has also become an essential tool in the field of psychology for helping ...

There are always ample opportunities to forgive others, especially in a marriage. But sometimes we don’t know how. Consider three tips to help you forgive more easily in the context of a covenant relationship. We remember those long nights in the first year of our marriage. In the infancy of his career, Byron was often late home from work as he juggled the demands on his time. Initially, Francine was so grateful when ...

The key to building trust in relationships is for both people to make their expectations clear and then commit to meeting those expectations. When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many ...

Many people believe that a good relationship requires equal effort from both husband and wife. And so, if your spouse is unwilling to change or invest more in the marriage then the relationship is doomed to lack-lustre intimacy or even steady deterioration. This is not necessarily the case, however. It only takes one person to tango! While it is certainly ideal to have both spouses fully invested and contributing to the ...

What’s the Difference Between Respect and Cherishment? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred being alone and unloved, compared to only a minority of women.* Further enquiry suggests that this gender pattern is relevant ...

In October a few years ago, the Australian bishops called the entire Catholic community to pray for marriage and family. The initiative was joined by around thirty other Christian churches making it the largest ever prayer campaign in the nation. It raises the question: does prayer really make a difference? Cynics might say that a prayer campaign is just a badly disguised way of making a value statement. It’s certainly true ...

We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”, surprised us; the most requested item among eleven options was, ‘Improving Communication’. Communication and Relationships Why the surprise? Everybody knows that communication is foundational to happy relationships. The surprise is that most people we talk to believe that they are already ...

In the midst of the lockdown, we cannot go to the gym, so my wife and I walk every morning to keep fit. We both enjoy each other’s presence, so we hold hands when we walk. Fight to Stay in Love One morning recently a woman who walked past us regularly said, “You are my role models for love.” I felt like saying, “Yes, but you have to fight to stay ...

I would love to say that my kids are finely tuned Father’s Day instruments honed to always make the perfect choice. Imagine them as well-trained, hawkish, retail warriors, who, with pinpoint accuracy hit their gift-for-dad target with the prowess of a sharp shooter. We don’t live in a perfect “man cave” world, so, I’d be lying to even suggest it. As much as I love their decision making, my kids are ...

Relationships erode constantly without your intentional attention. But it can be difficult to see the warning signs, as erosion can be well-hidden. In episode #30 of Real Talk 4 Real Men, Chris and Guy take you through the 7 stages of the Relationship Crash Cycle to help you identify exactly where your relationship is being eroded. Armed with this, you can apply exactly the right ‘fortifications’ against any further erosion. Have ...

What does it really mean when you “love” your spouse? In this episode, Guy and Chris unpack the 5 love types that you need to have working together to make your marriage mighty. “You don’t love me anymore!” says Lucy. “I do love you” says Liam. “You don’t!” Lucy fires back… You understand the scenario.  Perhaps you have experienced it.  Who is right? Perhaps they both are. Maybe they are talking ...