Think about your “I do” and make it a daily one. Ask, what will “I do” for my marriage today? It’s a powerful strategy for both the good times and the bad. At a recent business conference, a speaker made an offhand remark about having to recommit to her marriage vows every day. It was in the context of a discussion about the challenges of change management and how reforming a company ...

It happens all the time: one of us does or says something and the other is triggered, reacting harshly. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to develop the virtue of restraint. While it is often associated with Buddhist meditation, mindfulness has actually been a feature of many religions under different names, including Christianity. It has also become an essential tool in the field of psychology for helping ...

There are always ample opportunities to forgive others, especially in a marriage. But sometimes we don’t know how. Consider three tips to help you forgive more easily in the context of a covenant relationship. We remember those long nights in the first year of our marriage. In the infancy of his career, Byron was often late home from work as he juggled the demands on his time. Initially, Francine was so grateful when ...

The key to building trust in relationships is for both people to make their expectations clear and then commit to meeting those expectations. When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many ...

Many people believe that a good relationship requires equal effort from both husband and wife. And so, if your spouse is unwilling to change or invest more in the marriage then the relationship is doomed to lack-lustre intimacy or even steady deterioration. This is not necessarily the case, however. It only takes one person to tango! While it is certainly ideal to have both spouses fully invested and contributing to the ...

What’s the Difference Between Respect and Cherishment? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred being alone and unloved, compared to only a minority of women.* Further enquiry suggests that this gender pattern is relevant ...

In October a few years ago, the Australian bishops called the entire Catholic community to pray for marriage and family. The initiative was joined by around thirty other Christian churches making it the largest ever prayer campaign in the nation. It raises the question: does prayer really make a difference? Cynics might say that a prayer campaign is just a badly disguised way of making a value statement. It’s certainly true ...

We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”, surprised us; the most requested item among eleven options was, ‘Improving Communication’. Communication and Relationships Why the surprise? Everybody knows that communication is foundational to happy relationships. The surprise is that most people we talk to believe that they are already ...

In the midst of the lockdown, we cannot go to the gym, so my wife and I walk every morning to keep fit. We both enjoy each other’s presence, so we hold hands when we walk. Fight to Stay in Love One morning recently a woman who walked past us regularly said, “You are my role models for love.” I felt like saying, “Yes, but you have to fight to stay ...

I would love to say that my kids are finely tuned Father’s Day instruments honed to always make the perfect choice. Imagine them as well-trained, hawkish, retail warriors, who, with pinpoint accuracy hit their gift-for-dad target with the prowess of a sharp shooter. We don’t live in a perfect “man cave” world, so, I’d be lying to even suggest it. As much as I love their decision making, my kids are ...

Relationships erode constantly without your intentional attention. But it can be difficult to see the warning signs, as erosion can be well-hidden. In episode #30 of Real Talk 4 Real Men, Chris and Guy take you through the 7 stages of the Relationship Crash Cycle to help you identify exactly where your relationship is being eroded. Armed with this, you can apply exactly the right ‘fortifications’ against any further erosion. Have ...

What does it really mean when you “love” your spouse? In this episode, Guy and Chris unpack the 5 love types that you need to have working together to make your marriage mighty. “You don’t love me anymore!” says Lucy. “I do love you” says Liam. “You don’t!” Lucy fires back… You understand the scenario.  Perhaps you have experienced it.  Who is right? Perhaps they both are. Maybe they are talking ...

The young boy said in awed tones, “Is it a bird? Is it a plane?… No, it’s my father”. There are numerous types of fathers and dad jokes to suit them. Check out some of my favourites! The Sporty Dad: Seems to be always in gym clothes. Has a bright cheery attitude every day. A can-do attitude. Why did the scarecrow win an award? A. Because he was outstanding in his ...

Happy Father’s Day. Many are getting breakfast in bed, Father’s Day cards and lots of smoochie kisses from their children (as Bandit, the dad in Bluey, would say). Not only that, most dads will receive their yearly supply of socks and undies all on the one day. Even more exciting is that the new Dads4Kids TV community service ad is being played on TV all over Australia. Watch it below if ...

Do you find yourself finishing others’ sentences, pigeonholing people, speaking over them, or multitasking when others are speaking to you? If so, then perhaps it is listening reset time… Would you call yourself a good listener?  Most people would answer positively to that question — but when those who know you are asked that question, will their answer be as positive? From Zero To Listening Hero Real Talk 4 Real Men ...

Dr. Seuss said, “The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you’ll go.” This famous children’s book author was certainly across his subject. Here are 10 good reasons why you should read to your children. Hopefully you are inspired. 1. Dads Bring Something Special to the Reading Equation. Harvard-trained Dr Elisabeth Duursma said, “In most families, mothers are the ones ...

When a crisis hits you out of nowhere, what do you do next? When Guy faced nearly losing a child, he learned 13 lessons before the crisis was even over. Sometimes in life you have experiences that profoundly and permanently change you. Experiences either solidify your existing beliefs, assumptions and expectations, or they challenge and change what you thought you knew. Some are so small you don’t even notice them. Some ...

One of my most favourite things of all time is when one or both of our boys have a day out with dad. Partly because it means I get a day out with myself that usually consists chocolate, girly movies and/or pampering, but also because I notice a distinct difference in my boys every time they return. As if they’ve grown up a little bit, and for the next few days, ...

Avoid “good cop, bad cop” parenting as much as possible. In fact, ditch it altogether. A system that elevates mums over dads, or dads over mums, doesn’t work. Good cop, bad cop parenting’s long-term costs negate any short-term benefits. The system is a recipe for favouritism, resentment and parental neglect. Potentially even divorce. Good cop, bad cop is a poor metaphor for parenting. It’s even worse as an instruction manual for ...

This Father’s Day will be different again. Border closures and social distancing rules have made it harder to socialise locally. These home-delivered Father’s Day gifts will help us love our dads from afar and make them feel appreciated, even if we can’t be there in person. Supporting local shops and Australian-made products is going to benefit our local economy. If you’re at a loss on what to send your dad via ...