Recently, I have been pondering the relevance of this statement in my own life. It has been a number of years since I separated, but I still struggle with a lack of vision for my life. It doesn’t really matter how you come to be separated from your children and their mother, I think at some time we all experience the same thing — a need to re-evaluate our vision for our life.
It would be fair to say that I was sold the happy-ever-after and live for the children, work hard and move ahead as a family unit message. These are great messages, but when you realise that situation has now changed, it becomes important to recast a vision for your life. I hasten to add that I haven’t perished as such yet, but I view not moving forward very far as part of perishing.
I accept that there is a great emotional toll which accompanies divorce and separation, including from spouse and children, so I don’t want to sound like I’m denying that in any way. I also agree that the financial strain is difficult to bear, yet I cannot get past the statement that without vision, people perish.
As I stated earlier, I’m still breathing, but my life feels like it’s been on hold for far too long, and I attribute that to a lack of vision for my own life. Having said that, I wish to add that I still struggle to cast a vision for my life, but I am encouraged to do so by the statistics that say of the population only a very small percent become rich, and of those studied, they all carried with them their vision for their life. The really successful ones reviewed that vision regularly.
You don’t have to aim to be a zillionaire, but we all need to set a vision for our lives; if you’re now separated or divorced, recast a vision. With a vision, you will always reach a greater height than without a goal. I encourage you to recast yourself a vision, and if it seems selfish, that’s a reflection of how things have changed, not a reflection of diminished love for your children. In the long run, kids benefit from seeing us move ahead, and we all want the best for our children.
Colin Stollery, CPA and Business Consultant, is a committed father of two boys aged 9 & 10, and has been separated for nine years. Colin is an avid reader and is keen to encourage other single dads.
[Photo by Laker