On Friday afternoon, we went on a bushwalk with Byron’s work colleagues. Although we were with other people, we so enjoyed the time together. Walking is remarkably therapeutic for us… perhaps it’s the natural environment, or maybe it’s simply the absence of the constant phone, email and text distraction. Whatever it is, is not the point. It just feels strangely normal and earthy. Like we are stepping for a few hours ...

My kids and I were watching a Disney movie recently. In the movie, a dad who was coaching his child’s sports team yelled at his son. After the coaching session, the boy asked his Dad, “Why did you yell at me, but you didn’t yell at all the other kids?” His Dad yelled back in exasperation,  “I don’t care about the other kids.” I was struck by the irony of this ...

Yesterday we celebrated our daughter’s wedding to a wonderful man and family. Our daughter Kiara looked absolutely radiant with an interior joy; her now-husband Doug, was magnificent — strong, steady and adoring. Their evident love for each other lit up the church and the celebration that followed. As parents of the bride, we were afforded the opportunity to address the guests, and we thought we’d share some of our thoughts with ...

Anything worth having is never free. As Francine and I raced around on a typical Saturday afternoon, we found ourselves at the local shopping village together. Never one to waste the opportunity to gain a ‘good husband’ brownie point, I declared we should have a ‘coffee date’. Naturally, Francine obliged — she practically never says no to a ‘date’, no matter how pathetic. (Have I ever mentioned my “do you want ...

The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them to us; they were locked in a perpetual low-grade argument that never seemed to end. They were so ‘wired’, almost every ...

In a recent discussion at a youth conference, it was put to us by some of the participants that premarital sex was acceptable as long as it was a ‘committed’ relationship. Casual sex was seen to be inappropriate and perhaps dangerous, but if the couple were in a committed dating situation, then sex was okay. It sounds very reasonable and moderate, even mature; there is a certain sense of respect for ...

“A lot of men feel pressured by Valentine’s Day. They don’t like being expected to do something romantic for their wife or girlfriend on an arbitrary date on the calendar. They flinch when their mate drops hints in early February about what flowers or candy she prefers.” These are the words of Professor William Doherty, one of the world’s most recognised academic authorities on marriage and family. He was one of ...

A Pew study released mid-January suggests a majority of mums and dads in the United States are prioritising money over marriage. 90% of those quizzed about ‘aspirations’ for their children ‘prioritized financial independence and career satisfaction’ as numero uno. Material Success The Research Centre’s findings claimed that for a majority of parents, ‘it’s extremely or very important their children be financially independent when they are adults.’ Almost as ‘equally important’ for ...

What Are the Signs and What Do They Mean? In today’s dating scene, there is a great deal of confusion about commitment and what it means. Scott Stanley*, one of the foremost thinkers on commitment, suggests that the old ‘commitment phobia’ explanation doesn’t fully explain the dilemma in which dating couples find themselves. One reason for this is the confusion between ‘public displays of affection’ and ‘public displays of commitment’. We’re ...

One of my happiest childhood memories is snuggling in bed with mum or dad each night as they read to me. It was these moments that instilled in me a lifelong love of reading. It’s still one of my absolute favourite things to do, even though it’s a rare treat for me these days. What I didn’t realise back then was that this simple habit gave me so much more than ...

Commitment Phobia We’ve heard the phrase bandied around for years, but is it really as simple as someone being afraid of, or threatened by, making a commitment to his or her dating partner? Usually the ‘Commitment Phobia’ accusation is levelled towards the man in the relationship, with the related belief that it comes down to something genetically programmed on the Y chromosome! At the core of a person’s willingness to commit ...

OK, confession time… I’m not sure where, or how it started, but surprisingly, it was at a very young age. I’ve always loved kids. I’ve looked after kids and worked with kids, in both professional and voluntary capacities since I was about eleven. Spoilt Those who thought the whole world should revolve around them though, in all honesty, I wasn’t always as enthusiastic about looking after them. You know the ones; ...

Research reveals the amazing science behind creating a strong, lasting bond between parent and child, helping the child develop into a secure, well-rounded and independent person. “I think it should be cool to be a good partner, a good spouse, a good father… If I’m one of the people who helps make that cooler, I think that’s great,” are the prescient words of mega-selling recording artist, John Legend. John is right, ...

Here’s a question for you: How would you rate yourself as a driver — below average, average, or above average? How about your IQ (intelligence)? And finally, how about as a tennis player? Research by psychologists tells us that most people overestimate their driving ability and intelligence compared to others, while they will be much more accurate about their tennis ability. One reason why is that we can easily obtain objective ...

Counsellors and educators often talk about the importance of fun in a marriage. For those of us raising families, couple fun is one of the first casualties in the busy family schedule. Enter the Couple Project! –  a great way to put fun back on the agenda with these multiple benefits: Time together. This is so important, many marriage counsellors will demand their ‘recovering’ couples prioritise time together, up to 15 ...

The words and gestures you use have the power to either lift people up or bring them down. Choose wisely, especially in your daily interactions with your family. Yesterday I went to get my watch battery replaced at the local shopping centre’s Mr Repairman Service and received a surprise. The man who served me did a great job. He had 18 years’ experience. You could tell he really knew his job. ...

Housework: It’s often a topic of debate among couples, and truth be told, we’ve had our own dramas in this area over the years. We have very different values and expressions when it comes to housework. Byron is particular about floors and will often be found with a broom, mop or vacuum cleaner in hand. Francine is more motivated around food preparation — she’s more likely to be at the supermarket ...

Too many New Year resolutions falter because they fail to address what really needs changing: the internal disposition that compels us into unwanted habits. A few years ago, we received a letter from an irate reader. We were tempted to point out his clear misinterpretation that led him to conclude almost the direct opposite of our intent. But we recognised in his words the wounded heart of a person imprisoned by ...

Taylor is the popular girl at my daughters’ all-girl school. All schools have popular kids. This popular girl holds some sort of easy charm, often leaving some girls pining for that social standing. Normally I wouldn’t be too fussed about the popular girl; however, I believe that Taylor is stepping onto my parenting turf. And, when it comes to the well-being of my children, I am fiercely territorial. I try to ...

It happened in the shoe section at Big W. Casually browsing through the sandals, Tyson kneeling at my feet. He dropped a heel, paused and said: ‘b@&&er.’ Mortified. Where on earth did he learn…? Oh. Confession time: Amongst my many and varied flaws is a weakness for the odd expletive. Something that seemed harmless enough… until I heard that word come out of my ‘epitome-of-innocence’ 3-year-old’s mouth. The other customers in ...