Rather than just burying it or pushing harder into an argument, we try to take a step back to privately ask ourselves some why questions: why am I reacting this way? Where is this coming from?

Sometimes, single people ask us for suggestions on how to find a suitable marriage partner. Here’s a thought we often ask them to consider.

This diagnosis has caused us to reflect not just on our wedding vows, but also on the words we say to each other every day. Do we still say: I choose us?

Is the easy way always the best way? Or might we be called to something more than what we inherited from our families?

Over the past decade, we’ve frequently had frustrated husbands or wives approach us for help. This led us to create the BreakThrough course for individual spouses in distressed marriages.

On the school day my children leave my care, I will drop an “I love you” note into their lunch box or a quirky gift from the two-dollar shop.

Any couple who stays together more than a decade by necessity is doing what we could call ‘conscious REcoupling’. As we well know, people change.

Sleep deprivation is marriage enemy number one in our book. When sleep-deprived, everything can appear miserable and beyond redemption.

Whether new to the dad guild or a veteran dad-lifer, blunt affirmations offer sharp relief. Telling ourselves objective truths keeps us fit for the fight.

Without spending intentional, quality time with each other, we quickly get out of sync. When we do, our patience wears thin, our tones get harsh, and bickering over small things increases. The speed at which disconnect can occur always shocks me. 

A few years ago, Francine was a guest on Vision Radio for marriage week. One of the callers shared how his and his wife’s early ‘family of origin’ formation had caused them a lot of conflict. Their differences in expectations and values had caused them a great deal of grief. All married couples will experience both positive and negative effects from their family of origin formation, even those of us from ...

Blessed is the father who spends time with his child, for he shall reap a garden of remembrances. Blessed is the father who gives consolation to his child’s minor misfortunes, for he will be called on for great things in life. Blessed is the father who is proud of his child, for he shall have a child who is proud of his father. Blessed is the father who imparts love, for ...

Recently, we came across this quote from Simone Weil, a 20th-century French philosopher, Christian mystic and political activist. “God and humanity are like two lovers who have missed their rendezvous. Each is there before the time, but each at a different place, and they wait, and wait, and wait. He stands motionless, nailed to the spot for the whole of time. She is distraught and impatient. But alas for her if ...

This morning, a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was not only good for physical health, but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were walking, not just physically from one place to another but also spiritually: walking away from the old way towards a new ...

These days, we rightly talk a lot about exploitation and abuse. It comes in many forms, and we worry we might walk past it without noticing. Recently 665,000 Australians not only walked past, but sat and watched something that we should recognise for what it really is – workplace exploitation abuse. The airing of ‘reality’ TV show Beauty and the Geek pairs beautiful, intellectually-challenged and relationally-hurt women with bright, socially-awkward, ‘virginal’ ...

Mankind is so blessed to have the gift of music. The world would be a much sadder place without music, and I believe Walter Savage Landor was spot on when he wrote, ‘Music is God’s gift to man.’ Thanks to my parents (Dads4Kids founders Warwick & Alison Marsh), my siblings and I were all very blessed to be exposed to, and learn via private tuition, music from a young age. While ...

No one likes being in an argument. Arguments stir up intense emotions and can leave us feeling misunderstood and wounded. Yet, not all arguments are equal. Arguments mean different things in different circumstances. An argument is defined as a work of persuasion. We use arguments to convince others of our point of view. Well-thought arguments are crucial to social discourse and an important tool in workplace decision-making. When we make a ...

A recent study has found that couples without kids are much happier in their marriage than those with kids. Should I be worried? Thankfully, the same study showed that mums were happiest of all, but dads were amongst the unhappiest — perhaps because of the strain parenting has put on their marriage. Nothing can really prepare you for how much life changes after your baby arrives: sleepless nights, the relentless advice ...

Different personalities. Different upbringing. Different education. Different sexes. Sometimes different ethnic or religious backgrounds. With so many differences between us, is it any wonder that making decisions as a couple is complicated and sometimes conflictual? We unpack the SmartLoving framework for managing differences and making couple decisions. Byron and Francine Pirola have been married for 34 years, and between them, they have over three decades of experience in marriage and family ...

My together time with my daughters makes three people. When we are together, each of us brings our own measure of joy, mellowness, sanity, sorrow, silliness, delight, curiosity, affection, wonder and all the other hurdy-gurdy of emotions. Even though I try to have my dad radar tuned in to the emotions of two daughters, sometimes it can be a tough read. Tuning in and applying the right combination of daddy empathy ...