It’s taken me years to tune into it (I can be a slow learner), but these days, I sense it. Sometimes, my daughters become tired, emotional, anxious, or just everything all at once.

When these times arise, I’ve learnt there’s only one thing that can help: A Daddy Cuddle, as I like to call them. It goes something like this:

Me (sensing everything all at once for one of my daughters): “Everything okay, beautiful?”

Daughter: “I don’t know, Dad, I just feel…” (voice trailing off and shrugging of shoulders).

Me (everything all at once radar pinging): “Would a daddy cuddle help?”

Daughter: “Yes!” (nodding, sometimes tearfully, as we embrace).

After a long daddy cuddle, they often go on their merry way, or we might have a good chat, but everything is usually all okay.

Everything All At Once

Metaphysically speaking, the idea of experiencing everything all at once, while intriguing, is not physically possible due to the nature of time and space. Our minds are designed to function in a sequential, rather than simultaneous, way.

When our family members feel overwhelmed, they sometimes can’t explain what’s wrong or even put their feelings into words. I’m certainly no expert, but this is exactly why daddy cuddles can be a great antidote to those feelings.

Australian singer-songwriter and actress Lenka released a catchy song in 2014 that illustrates Everything All At Once:

Everything all at once can strike at the most inopportune of times. It can happen when I’m trying to finish a task or rushing out the door to an ‘important’ meeting. When it arises, the absolute worst thing I can do is dismissively brush it aside.

Daddy Cuddles and Turning the Tide of Fatherlessness

If I really do need to keep moving, a quick hug is better than nothing, and a promise of more time with Dad later always helps (I just need to make sure I follow through). If a daddy cuddle is what’s needed, as dads, it’s our duty, honour, and blessing to give them as much as we possibly can.

As the son of a great father (Dads4Kids co-founder Warwick Marsh), I know from experience that sometimes sons need daddy cuddles too. For you and your children, it may look different to cuddles. Some prefer long walks, but find what works for your family. The point is not to automatically switch into fix-it mode (that may happen later), but to be there for, and actively listen to, your children. As Bryan Ward so adroitly writes:

“Fixing. It’s one of our purest and cleanest contributions as men. But your value as a man, husband, father, goes far beyond your ability to fix things.”

Like the daddy cuddles I give my five daughters, Dads4Kids dream is to help the dads of Australia give their kids lots of cuddles. Since 2002, we’ve worked tirelessly to turn the tide of fatherlessness. Absent or uninvolved fathers have been shown to cause significant social harms.

The important work of Dads4Kids encouraging fathers to help their children be the best they can be continues, but we need your support.

The tragedy of fatherlessness can feel like everything all at once, too. But Dads4Kids has a plan, a daddy cuddle for Australia.

Through our compelling content, extensive resources, life-changing courses and inspiring events (visit dads4kids.org.au to find out more), with your support, we will continue building men, growing fathers, and changing generations.

Lovework

Give your kids as many hugs as you can. One day, sooner than you realise, they’ll all be grown up, and the daddy cuddles will be fewer and farther between. Push back on everything all at once while you can.

If you’re encouraged by the work of Dads4Kids, please consider supporting us during our EOFY June Appeal. Click here to learn more and be part of giving Australia’s children the best start in life.

Yours for our children,

Nathaniel Marsh

P.S. Please join us for the Dads4Kids Breakthrough Webinar this Thursday night, 12 June at 8 PM (AEST) on Zoom. Some wonderful guests will be joining us: Danny Abdallah, who tragically lost three of his children to a drunk and drugged driver, Andrew Gray from The Man Show, Paul Ninnes, co-founder and managing director of Real Talk International and Kevin Allen, an amazing Dads4Kids supporter. Register here to access the webinar link.

P.P.S. The Early Bird Registration Price for the 2025 Men’s Leadership Summit has been extended for another week to midnight 15 June! Don’t miss out – find out more and register here.

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Image via Adobe.