Have you ever stopped to think about the importance of your marriage? Marriage is hard; is it worth it? In this post, Guy looks at why your marriage matters and gives you some thoughts you would be wise to ponder… When I got married at 22 years old, I had the wrong idea about marriage. I don’t think it was an unusual idea. Deep down, I thought that marriage would make ...

Emily Holleman a writer for The Cut, – part of New York Magazine’s ‘One Great Story’ section – recently condemned bearing children in the age of the “apocalypse,” selfish. As a committed father of five, I was intensely interested in what she had to say. Holleman’s reflection on anxiety and personal loss in a time of uncertainty is the better part of what becomes an environmentalist “sermon”. An autobiographical piece, the ...

Marriage gets a pretty bad rap these days. Celebrity bust-ups, high profile infidelity and a cohabitation takeover seem destined to put marriage into retirement. If it’s not already dead, it’s fast heading for extinction. Or so you might think. The truth is, despite these grim media representations, marriage is still rather popular. Weddings are at an all-time high and divorce has been in a steady decline (albeit slow) from its high of ...

Cherish is a seven letter word and full of meaning. My first thought of the word is the way the NRL Grand Final winning team held onto the winners’ trophy, a trophy highly treasured by one and all. Perhaps the real meaning of the word cherish happened at the same event when Brian To’o put love into action. News.com.au puts us in the picture. Moments after the final siren, To’o found ...

What’s the Difference Between Respect and Cherishment? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred being alone and unloved, compared to only a minority of women.* Further enquiry suggests that this gender pattern is relevant ...

The best marriage advice I have ever received came from an 80-year-old, Scottish widow. Sitting beside her a few weeks before my wedding she told me, “The only marriage advice I’ll give you is this: cherish.” The word didn’t come with any commentary, and I would spend the next 23 years unpacking its meaning and value. My wife and I married young. We even recited vows that included the words, “to ...

A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions.   Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained?  When the time came to do the pickup, the trainer talked about ‘trigger stacking’. This is the idea that stresses on the ...

In October a few years ago, the Australian bishops called the entire Catholic community to pray for marriage and family. The initiative was joined by around thirty other Christian churches making it the largest ever prayer campaign in the nation. It raises the question: does prayer really make a difference? Cynics might say that a prayer campaign is just a badly disguised way of making a value statement. It’s certainly true ...

Have you ever shared how ridiculous a particular situation is with a friend to find that they think it’s crazy too but their predicament is actually worse than yours and you really have nothing to complain about? That happened to me on the weekend. Lately, I’ve been having little reminders sent in the way of a status from an inspiring blogger to words from a good friend that have slowly reminded ...

We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”, surprised us; the most requested item among eleven options was, ‘Improving Communication’. Communication and Relationships Why the surprise? Everybody knows that communication is foundational to happy relationships. The surprise is that most people we talk to believe that they are already ...

How is it that despite looking like we have the things we need, we are unhappy, frustrated, even angry? As the world looks to behavioural change programs to deal with tragedies like domestic violence, Guy argues that perhaps, for men who are at risk of ‘snapping’, an answer is more deeply hidden but oh so easy to get. Meet Jim I want to introduce you to Jim. Jim is the unhappiest ...

Fatherhood is an adventure like no other, but most men are not ready when they jump and are left trying to catch up right from the start. But fatherhood can be done well. In this podcast, 4 men with 29 kids share some secrets on how. Fatherhood.  It is a word that means so many things.  Joy to some, pain to others and everything in-between. For those of us who are ...

In the midst of the lockdown, we cannot go to the gym, so my wife and I walk every morning to keep fit. We both enjoy each other’s presence, so we hold hands when we walk. Fight to Stay in Love One morning recently a woman who walked past us regularly said, “You are my role models for love.” I felt like saying, “Yes, but you have to fight to stay ...

Relationships erode constantly without your intentional attention. But it can be difficult to see the warning signs, as erosion can be well-hidden. In episode #30 of Real Talk 4 Real Men, Chris and Guy take you through the 7 stages of the Relationship Crash Cycle to help you identify exactly where your relationship is being eroded. Armed with this, you can apply exactly the right ‘fortifications’ against any further erosion. Have ...

What does it really mean when you “love” your spouse? In this episode, Guy and Chris unpack the 5 love types that you need to have working together to make your marriage mighty. “You don’t love me anymore!” says Lucy. “I do love you” says Liam. “You don’t!” Lucy fires back… You understand the scenario.  Perhaps you have experienced it.  Who is right? Perhaps they both are. Maybe they are talking ...

Happy Father’s Day. Many are getting breakfast in bed, Father’s Day cards and lots of smoochie kisses from their children (as Bandit, the dad in Bluey, would say). Not only that, most dads will receive their yearly supply of socks and undies all on the one day. Even more exciting is that the new Dads4Kids TV community service ad is being played on TV all over Australia. Watch it below if ...

Oprah Winfrey said that you can’t have everything and do everything at the same time. Was she right? Today we unpack work-life balance and ask if it is still possible. And if it is, then how? When the term work-life balance is raised, it usually stirs some sort of emotion in you. There are a few who don’t desire ‘work-life balance’, but on the whole, most men I speak to have ...

Can you be overly protective of your wife and kids? How do you walk the balance between care and responsibility? That is the topic of Real Talk 4 Real Men episode #27. Are you confident that you are preparing your young adults well for handling the responsibilities that come with adulthood? Have you prepared your wife to be able to live well without you, should you suddenly be taken off this ...

Avoid “good cop, bad cop” parenting as much as possible. In fact, ditch it altogether. A system that elevates mums over dads, or dads over mums, doesn’t work. Good cop, bad cop parenting’s long-term costs negate any short-term benefits. The system is a recipe for favouritism, resentment and parental neglect. Potentially even divorce. Good cop, bad cop is a poor metaphor for parenting. It’s even worse as an instruction manual for ...

Do you struggle with behaviours that you can’t change, and can’t understand where they come from? Or perhaps you still harbour guilt and shame, or blame yourself for not having a father in your life? The impacts of being fatherless at some key point in our lives can have devastating consequences that we might not even be aware of. Listen to Jack Thurston’s story and his proven solutions to the impacts ...