Even before Squish came along, my wife and I were big on dividing household tasks so that everything got done without either of us having to spend much time on chores we don’t enjoy.
Now, with a baby in the picture, this skill of ours is more important than ever.
I am not a morning person, so while I’m charging up with coffee, I sit and play with Elsa, who always has smiles and enthusiasm to spare as the sun rises. This gives Angie the opportunity to whizz through the house and get everything in order.
After a shower and my other essential morning tasks, it’s off to work for me. I work from home, so it is a short commute to my office — just a few steps, in fact! But Angie is very respectful of my work hours, doing her best to keep Squish busy each day, whether at home or out and about. Angie also looks after another baby for a good part of the week, so this is no mean feat!
Since I enjoy variety, I will often leave the house for half a day at a time to work at a local cafe or the library. Angie and I have learned that a bit of extra space is very healthy for both of us.
But whether I am home all day or coming and going, I always make it a point to maximise my short interactions with Squish (and, of course, with Angie). When I enter the room, it’s all smiles and cuddles. Our baby has become quite the adrenaline junkie in recent months, so I also love throwing her in the air or spinning her around until she giggles… though I do my best to stop before she vomits!
These passing interactions might only last a short moment, but I see huge value in them, and consider this a major perk of working from home. I often get to eat lunch with Angie and Elsa, too, which, in my book, is much better than a corporate lunchroom.
Our After-Work Ritual
Not everyone works from home — and not everyone wants to. As such, it is the after-work rituals that really count for most dads, and the same is true in our household.
When I finish work in the afternoon, my time belongs to my wife and baby daughter. From the end of work, through dinner, bath and Elsa’s bedtime, my attention is fully on my girls.
If the weather is favourable, we might go for a walk. Most nights, I also read to Squish since she loves books and is currently an avid student of animals and the sounds they make. I am the household chef, so while I cook dinner, Angie gives Elsa a bath, though we occasionally swap tasks. Then I am usually the one to put Elsa down, since it allows one more chance for precious interactions before the day is through.
Once the baby is in bed, Angie and I finally get some time to ourselves. And then, since I am a night owl, I usually stay up longer and can enjoy some much-needed solitude and relaxation.
My new after-work ritual marks a big shift for me. No longer do I get to veg straight away, as in my bachelor days. This is a sacrifice, but it is one that I am willing to make. I prayed for many years for a wife and children, and I don’t want to let these precious years slip by or take them for granted.
I read a quote just the other day that will stay with me for a long time: “The good old days are happening right now.”
I believe every dad needs to take these words to heart. Marriage and fatherhood are a gift.
And in a world that is becoming more chaotic and fragmented, healthy, functioning families are a rare commodity to be treasured.