Ain’t Marriage Grand!
What makes for an epic marriage? A marriage that faces and transcends challenges and obstacles, that has an interior resilience and grace that comes from the God who is always ready to encourage us. We recently attended two weddings of close family friends. This time, a different part of the ...
Divorce Proof Relationship Resolutions
January 3 is known as ‘divorce day’ – the most popular day for women to file for divorce. Perhaps because they’ve held it together for the festive season but can’t keep up the charade any longer. Sadly, most men don’t see it coming. Going through life blissfully unaware that their partner is ...
Marital Resilience
Let’s face it – marriage is a tough gig these days. With divorce rates higher than we’d like, too many families are being torn apart by marriage breakdown. What can couples do to immunise their marriages against this tragedy? Marital resilience starts with a well-grounded understanding of what marriage is ...
Burn the Boats
A recent analysis of modern-day wedding vows reveals around a third of couples shunning the traditional commitment for life. According to the results, 34% dumped the phrase ‘until death do us part’. This really shouldn’t surprise us as the prevailing message young couples hear is that divorce is not only ...
Sexual Differences – Respect and Cherishment
When we understand our sexual differences, we are empowered to use them constructively to build great relationships. We’ve always maintained that our differences are something to celebrate; that they allow us to more deeply appreciate the unique contribution we each make to our shared life. We can be different, with differing ...
Choosing to Love
If there is one thing that makes motherhood so worth celebrating, it’s a mother’s capacity for love for her children. Whether it’s her willingness to give over her body to nourish a newborn, her patience with the endless ‘but why’ questions of a toddler, or the testing rebellion of a ...
Trigger Warning: There’s a Landmine Below
Over the previous columns, we have been exploring how our formation from our family of origin can continue to impact us and our marriage negatively. In this article, we want to unpack the third and final way our formation experiences play out – through emotional injuries. Some years ago, Francine ...
Programmed for Love or for Trouble?
We were recently hosted overnight in the country home of friends. It was a beautiful experience in every way. Our hosts greeted us with warmth, housed us in a tastefully appointed bedroom and nourished us with a delightful meal. Their home was a beauty to behold; magnificent views overlooking the ...
Prayer for Couples in Times of Trouble
We had a request recently from someone looking for a prayer for a couple going through tough times in their marriage. While we were very happy to oblige, it struck us that for many couples in this situation, prayer is often far from their thoughts, and yet, it is one ...
Mid-Life Madness and other Stressors
As mid-lifers in the midst of working through some of our ‘issues’, we are acutely aware of how easy it would be to let our individual stuff derail our marriage. It’s normal for a person in midlife to be irritable and volatile. Some react with depressive symptoms, others get angry ...
Forgiveness is the Life Blood of Marriage
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:24). These words of Jesus as he was being crucified were meant not just for his executioners, but for all of us. His love transcends all our limitations and failures and calls us into life. We all have someone to ...
Dads Asking Questions
Some time ago I was busy working in my own office when I heard my wife talking in the next office to a stranger. Being the inquisitive type, I opened my door to shake hands with Bill, who was inspecting the services in our office on behalf of the landlord. ...
Myths about Arguments
When it comes to marriage, relationships and arguments, there are a lot of myths out there. Here are five of the most common. Myth 1: Good Couples Don’t Argue The presence or absence of arguments is not a good indicator of the health of a marriage. Some couples who don’t ...
On Trend with Unbusy
We recently enjoyed a week in New Zealand – about five days with some of our children and then two blessed days on our own. It was like a tonic for our soul and our marriage. Long walks with relaxed afternoons soaking up beautiful vistas and abundant wildlife. One such cheeky local ...
That Romantic Atmosphere
On Friday afternoon, we went on a bushwalk with Byron’s work colleagues. Although we were with other people, we so enjoyed the time together. Walking is remarkably therapeutic for us… perhaps it’s the natural environment, or maybe it’s simply the absence of the constant phone, email and text distraction. Whatever ...
The Day After the Big Day
Yesterday we celebrated our daughter’s wedding to a wonderful man and family. Our daughter Kiara looked absolutely radiant with an interior joy; her now-husband Doug, was magnificent -- strong, steady and adoring. Their evident love for each other lit up the church and the celebration that followed. As parents of ...
Investment in Marriage
Anything worth having is never free. As Francine and I raced around on a typical Saturday afternoon, we found ourselves at the local shopping village together. Never one to waste the opportunity to gain a ‘good husband’ brownie point, I declared we should have a ‘coffee date’. Naturally, Francine obliged ...
Like Parent, Like Child
The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them ...
The Commitment Challenge #3: Sex and Committed Relationships
In a recent discussion at a youth conference, it was put to us by some of the participants that premarital sex was acceptable as long as it was a ‘committed’ relationship. Casual sex was seen to be inappropriate and perhaps dangerous, but if the couple were in a committed dating ...
Valentine’s Day — Learn from Shrek and Seize the Moment
“A lot of men feel pressured by Valentine’s Day. They don’t like being expected to do something romantic for their wife or girlfriend on an arbitrary date on the calendar. They flinch when their mate drops hints in early February about what flowers or candy she prefers.” These are the ...
The Commitment Challenge #2
What Are the Signs and What Do They Mean? In today’s dating scene, there is a great deal of confusion about commitment and what it means. Scott Stanley*, one of the foremost thinkers on commitment, suggests that the old ‘commitment phobia’ explanation doesn’t fully explain the dilemma in which dating ...
The Commitment Challenge #1
Commitment Phobia We’ve heard the phrase bandied around for years, but is it really as simple as someone being afraid of, or threatened by, making a commitment to his or her dating partner? Usually the ‘Commitment Phobia’ accusation is levelled towards the man in the relationship, with the related belief ...
Delusions of Superior Communication
Here’s a question for you: How would you rate yourself as a driver -- below average, average, or above average? How about your IQ (intelligence)? And finally, how about as a tennis player? Research by psychologists tells us that most people overestimate their driving ability and intelligence compared to others, ...
Making Fun is Serious Business
Counsellors and educators often talk about the importance of fun in a marriage. For those of us raising families, couple fun is one of the first casualties in the busy family schedule. Enter the Couple Project! – a great way to put fun back on the agenda with these multiple ...
Marriage is Not a Partnership
Housework: It’s often a topic of debate among couples, and truth be told, we’ve had our own dramas in this area over the years. We have very different values and expressions when it comes to housework. Byron is particular about floors and will often be found with a broom, mop ...
Forgiveness – A New Year Resolution You Can Keep
Too many New Year resolutions falter because they fail to address what really needs changing: the internal disposition that compels us into unwanted habits. A few years ago, we received a letter from an irate reader. We were tempted to point out his clear misinterpretation that led him to conclude ...
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The Daily Dad is a forum for Dads to be able to express themselves and encourage other dads. Mothers write articles as well. The opinions of the various writers are not necessarily the opinion of Dads4Kids. Read More
