In the United States, where I currently live, Father’s Day will soon be celebrated. It will be my first, and I can’t wait.

The older Squish gets, the more differences I notice in how she relates to Angie as her mother, and to me as her father.

Elsa now regularly calls out ‘Mama’ when she is in need of comfort, especially around bedtime. She loves snuggling up in Angie’s arms. Mine? Not so much — and not for lack of effort on my part. Squish knows there is something qualitatively different about the two of us and what we are able to offer her.

With me, by contrast, Elsa knows she’ll get thrown up in the air, pushed higher on the swing at the park, or left to navigate some of her daily challenges with verbal encouragement instead of direct support. This, too, she loves.

Just yesterday, I took Squish for a walk in the carrier and we picked some flowers to bring back home for mummy. It’s important that she also gets to see the gentle side of masculinity.

Some of my favourite moments with Squish are in the mornings when she joins us in bed, and looks left to right, and right to left, glancing back and forth between mum and dad with a big, goofy smile on her face. It is a powerful reminder to me of the way God has designed the two sexes and what they each provide for a vulnerable little life.

Dad-daughter relationships are indispensable. I write these words with the full knowledge that tragedies like death, divorce and domestic disputes can break this natural bond.

In such cases, there is always grace — grandfathers, uncles and other male role models who can step up and fill the gap.

With that fact in mind, the research couldn’t be clearer on the importance of dads (and their equivalents) in the lives of their daughters.

Lifelong Positives

In an article for Forbes, health columnist Nicole F. Roberts writes that “extensive research has shown that fathers make a world of difference in the lives of little girls”.

“And I don’t mean just biological dads or dads who are physically present,” she clarifies, “but father figures who are emotionally invested and active in the lives of their daughters — at every stage of development.”

Ms Roberts cites psychology professor Dr Linda Nielsen, who confirms that “daughters who had strong relationships with their fathers growing up (no matter their economic or educational background, race or religion) get better grades, go on to make more money, and are more emotionally resilient as adults than peers who did not.” The article continues:

Dr. Nielsen’s work at Wake Forest has concluded that women perform better in what they refer to as the 3Ms = Money, Men, and Mental Health, if the father-daughter relationship is strong. But each of these three are not necessarily linked in the ways we tend to think, such as a “good role model” for a partner or demonstrating work ethic. Instead, the reasons women with good dads out-perform their peers has to do with how well they assess risk, how they approach challenges and the security and confidence they have in forming relationships.

So, let’s take a quick look at the 3Ms.

Money: Daughters with supportive dads tend to get better grades, graduate more often, and pursue STEM careers due to increased confidence and assertiveness. This support also encourages career risk-taking like starting a business, and makes women less likely to engage in risky behaviours like binge drinking and drug use.

Men: A father’s relationship with his daughter also influences her future relationships by making her feel loved and secure from the earliest years. This feeling of security means she is less likely to seek attention, external validation or love to fill a void, and she’ll have healthy expectations for the man she ends up with.

Mental Health: When daughters play rough with their dads — like jumping off couches or being thrown in the air — they learn to set boundaries, manage stress and control their moods, motivations and fears. Rough and tumble play with dads helps daughters take risks safely and regulate their reactions, leading to more emotionally resilient and self-confident women who report fewer anxiety disorders and depression.

So a quick word to dads: make the most of every opportunity to play, interact and strengthen your bond with your daughters. The months and years will pass quickly.

As I have written on more than one occasion at this blog, the good old days are happening now, so don’t miss them.

And to all the American dads out there, Happy Father’s Day!

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Image courtesy of Unsplash.