Commitment Phobia We’ve heard the phrase bandied around for years, but is it really as simple as someone being afraid of, or threatened by, making a commitment to his or her dating partner? Usually the ‘Commitment Phobia’ accusation is levelled towards the man in the relationship, with the related belief that it comes down to something genetically programmed on the Y chromosome! At the core of a person’s willingness to commit ...
There’s a curious thing that happens when a divorce touches a community. Where once parents, friends and siblings believed in the power of love and the permanency of marriage, confidence gives way to cynicism and uncertainty. Instead of believing that children do best when living in the same home with both their parents, we find ourselves saying: “The most important thing is that they know they are loved by both their ...
Fatherhood is a journey full of unforeseeable developments, but if you gather like-minded friends around you who can provide support along the way, and practise humility while learning how to best love and care for your family, you can triumph over the challenges which come your way. “Life is strange with its twists and turns”, is a quote from a famous poem written in 1921 called ‘Don’t Quit’ by Edgar A ...
“Love is the greatest force in the universe”. These are the words of Dr Martin Luther King, America’s greatest civil rights leader. Dr King was assassinated in 1968 and so proved these words in unmistakable fashion. Twenty years ago, on 1 May 2002, Dads4Kids was officially incorporated as a charitable association. Our mission remains the same as it was then. Our main focus is still a better life for our children: ...
Becoming a man and a father requires the ability to commit to your family and to sacrifice for them. Here is a frank interview of a dad who had to learn the virtue of commitment while on the job. Benjamin Franklin said, “Honesty is the best policy.” Zig Ziglar, one of the world’s greatest motivational speakers, put it this way, “The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, ...
In his book The Power of Commitment, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave the relationship. Constraints tend to accumulate with the relationship and begin from very early on, before ...
Were we too young to get married? Would it have been better to wait till later? Lots of people told us so. Neither of us had really experienced life: Byron at 27 had at least lived out of home for three years. On the other hand, Francine at 21 was still studying, had never had her own bedroom, let alone lived independently. From university professors, mentors and friends, she was repeatedly ...
Think about your “I do” and make it a daily one. Ask, what will “I do” for my marriage today? It’s a powerful strategy for both the good times and the bad. At a recent business conference, a speaker made an offhand remark about having to recommit to her marriage vows every day. It was in the context of a discussion about the challenges of change management and how reforming a company ...
In part 4 of Thriving Through Change, Guy and Chris continue the discussion on how to cope with change. In this episode, Guy explains the 4-part Hudson change model for understanding where you are at in the change cycle. Ever been chasing a dream, a big goal, a vision, but then become disillusioned with the whole thing? Things you assumed were constant are now being questioned? Can see change coming, and ...
We all get a bit of shock pretty early on in married life. For some, it is day 1: “This isn’t what I expected!” At some point, you will probably find yourself asking yourself the question: Is marriage worth it? Are you married? How has it been going for you lately? You wouldn’t be the first person to stop and ask yourself that question. Most of us men enter into marriage ...
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