The Single-Minded Search
Sometimes, single people ask us for suggestions on how to find a suitable marriage partner. Here’s a thought we often ask them to consider.
I Do Every Day: Whatever Happens, I Choose Us
This diagnosis has caused us to reflect not just on our wedding vows, but also on the words we say to each other every day. Do we still say: I choose us?
Conscious Recoupling
Any couple who stays together more than a decade by necessity is doing what we could call ‘conscious REcoupling’. As we well know, people change.
In the Company of Great Men
2018 was a breakthrough year for me. The preceding few years had been particularly difficult, thanks to some bad decisions on my part, both in business and in my relationships. Looking back, I had fallen into passivity and failed to see the warning signs around me. Even when I was paying attention, I was slow to take action, and came close to losing my marriage and everything I had worked for. ...
Staying Power
Walk through any quality '80s film, and the reoccurring theme is staying power. Daniel LaRusso, Rocky Balboa, Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo? Staying power. Axel Foley, Ripley (Aliens), John McClane, Mr Miyagi, and Maverick? Again, staying power. Add to this, characters played by some of the 80's best female actors: Meryl Streep, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kathleen Turner, and Goldie Hawn. Their undeniable hidden strength is staying power. https://youtu.be/uXXPbti2nVM Look at ...
The ‘Marriage Before Carriage’ Dads Matter Revolution
Welcome to the marriage before carriage dads matter revolution! This was the brilliant bottom line in a series of posts written by Delano Squires this week. Marking USA’s Father’s Day, the dad of four and Heritage Foundation Fellow declared, “There’s no greater vocation than being a dad.” Dependency, power, plunder, and control are reasons why they don’t want men to be men. “There are a lot of people who want men ...
The Forever Conversation
At some point, every couple will have the Forever Conversation -- the discussion that explores their long-term commitment. It’s no secret to anyone that the incidence of cohabitation has increased. In fact, a couple who hasn’t cohabited is increasingly rare, even in the Catholic formation circles where we work. For couples in these semi-permanent living arrangements, the natural progression of a romantic relationship towards marriage is slowed. Without the inconvenience of ...
Burn the Boats
A recent analysis of modern-day wedding vows reveals around a third of couples shunning the traditional commitment for life. According to the results, 34% dumped the phrase ‘until death do us part’. This really shouldn’t surprise us as the prevailing message young couples hear is that divorce is not only commonplace, it’s also to be expected. Understandably, many couples simply do not have confidence in marriage as a life-long proposition. So ...
The Commitment Challenge #3: Sex and Committed Relationships
In a recent discussion at a youth conference, it was put to us by some of the participants that premarital sex was acceptable as long as it was a ‘committed’ relationship. Casual sex was seen to be inappropriate and perhaps dangerous, but if the couple were in a committed dating situation, then sex was okay. It sounds very reasonable and moderate, even mature; there is a certain sense of respect for ...
The Commitment Challenge #2
What Are the Signs and What Do They Mean? In today’s dating scene, there is a great deal of confusion about commitment and what it means. Scott Stanley*, one of the foremost thinkers on commitment, suggests that the old ‘commitment phobia’ explanation doesn’t fully explain the dilemma in which dating couples find themselves. One reason for this is the confusion between ‘public displays of affection’ and ‘public displays of commitment’. We’re ...
