“You won’t know until you’ve tried it.”

That one-liner is often used to coax unsuspecting observers into trying something brand new — whether it’s a strange food, a new hobby, or even a forbidden activity.

In a time of historically low birth rates, when many young people are questioning whether they want to have children, this phrase could equally apply to fatherhood.

Our culture has embraced many myths about fatherhood that make men hesitate to settle down, marry, and start a family.

It’s time to bust those myths — beginning with these four.

Myth 1: Fathers don’t bond deeply with their babies

I will never forget the day our baby Squish was born and I got to hold her for the first time. Staring down at her serene little face, I felt for the first time what it meant to be a father, and I resolved then and there to be her protector, provider and rock.

If I felt this way about Elsa, whom we adopted, there’s no reason for men to doubt the connection they will feel with their biological children.

It’s true that fathers have a different emotional role to play than mothers in the lives of their children. But the bonds that develop as a helpless baby depends on the love and care of both parents in those early months cannot be overstated.

This is something you definitely won’t know until you’ve tried it!

Myth 2: Once a man becomes a father, he stops having fun

I married at age 35 and became a dad just after I turned 38 — which provided me with more than enough time to explore the world, try out several careers, and have all the fun I hoped to have while single.

But don’t assume you need as much time as I had. Many of those years I wanted to marry and begin a family, but in the providence of God, that was not the path my life took. Meanwhile, many of my friends did just, marrying in their 20s and beginning a tribe of one, two or three. And I have never heard any of them express regrets about their life trajectory.

The truth is that fatherhood changes you at a fundamental level — even altering your definition of fun. As I wrote last week, the best fun fathers can have is not in escaping their wives and children but being with them, setting an atmosphere of fun, making precious memories, and investing in the deep and joyful relationships that only family can provide.

Myth 3: Fatherhood makes men less ambitious

There’s a common misconception that becoming a dad can diminish a man’s ambitions. I personally used to believe this myth — that once I had children, my focus would shift entirely to the practical demands of daily life — work, bills, and raising kids, and my other dreams and goals would fall to the wayside.

In reality, fatherhood has had the opposite effect on me.

The arrival of Squish gave me a new sense of purpose and drive. Suddenly, I had a deeper motivation to work harder, achieve more, dream bigger and secure a better future for my family. Now that baby number two is almost here, my resolve and ambition have doubled.

Fatherhood has sparked in me a renewed commitment to personal and professional growth, since it’s no longer just about my self-fulfilment, but providing for the people I love most.

Myth 4: Dads are less important than mums in a child’s development

It goes without saying that a mother’s love, nurture and tenderness are indispensable in the life of a young child. But dads play an equally important role, even if it looks a little different.

I am the parent who pushes Squish higher on the swing, challenges her boundaries, and encourages her to tackle new activities, often with a little verbal nudge instead of hands-on assistance.

No one taught me to do this — it’s just how I naturally parent.

Research shows that a strong father-child relationship has lifelong benefits. Children with involved fathers are more confident, emotionally resilient, and academically successful. Kids with strong paternal connections tend to perform better in areas like grades, career success, and mental health, regardless of their background. A father’s presence provides security, teaches risk assessment, and fosters a sense of confidence.

Fatherhood isn’t just about providing discipline or being a “role model”. It’s about offering a distinct form of love and engagement that complements what mothers provide, helping children develop emotional resilience and a strong sense of self.

Fathers, in other words, are indispensable.

What other myths do men commonly believe that keep them from considering fatherhood?

Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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Image courtesy of Adobe.

About the Author: Kurt Mahlburg

Kurt Mahlburg is Canberra Declaration's Research and Features Editor. He hosts his own blog at Cross + Culture and is also a contributor at the Spectator Australia, MercatorNet, Caldron Pool and The Good Sauce. Kurt is also a published author. His book Cross and Culture: Can Jesus Save the West? provides a rigorous analysis of the modern malaise in Western society and how Jesus provides the answer to the challenges before us. Kurt has a particular interest in speaking the truths of Jesus into the public square in a way that makes sense to a secular culture and that gives Christians courage to do the same. Kurt has also studied architecture, has lived for two years in remote South-East Asia, and among his other interests are philosophy, history, surf, the outdoors, and travel. He is married to Angie.

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