“Inaugurated in 1957, the Australian Father of the Year has been awarded annually to high-profile, famous fathers, from prime ministers and politicians to sportsmen, business leaders, entertainers and musicians acknowledging the support, guidance and love they show to Australian children.” So says Wikipedia. I am not famous or high-profile. The smear-the-opponent style of politics means that I will never go there, and my dad jokes hardly rate as entertainment. A long ...

The proposed Family Law Amendment legislation by the Labor Government will be another case of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, instead of fixing the hole in the hull to stop the ship from going down. Many of the reform proposals, such as considering the best interests of the child, are well-intentioned, but unless they solve the fundamental problem, they really become another layer of bureaucracy to waste taxpayers’ money. ...

A few weeks ago, on an impulse and wanting to share a snapshot of my post-separation status, I wrote a part-whimsical, part-serious piece about the worst parts of being a single dad. By implication, if some parts are worst, then there must be some best bits, says my cerebral dialogue. Voice Number One says the best bit is simply being a dad. Voice Number One ignores the “single” tag and just ...

Family law expert Patrick Parkinson says Labor’s proposal to amend the Family Law Act is a radical change that will take Australia back to when mothers were granted primacy in custody battles. The results for dads will be devastating.

This week a television crew from the Japanese public broadcaster came to Sydney to interview family law specialist Justin Dowd, a former President of the NSW Law Society. Japan is considering a move away from mum-custody towards “joint parental authority” — which recognises that it’s in the best interests of children to have both mum and dad remain involved in their care. The Japanese crew came to Australia because they acknowledge ...

I separated from my ex-wife a few years ago. I think that it was five years ago. It could have been six. On reflection, the first six months seemed like six years. During the frenzied rush of committing to a rental and buying a car and purchasing beds for my daughters, plenty of well-meaning people offered the saying that “things will get better… they always do!” Yes, things do get better, ...

By Bettina Arndt — The Sydney Morning Herald, April 28, 2014 A belief that children under three should not stay overnight with their separated or divorced father has underpinned our family law system for years. Has it all been a mistake? Bettina Arndt reports. Editor’s Note: Little has changed in the last ten years. Now, more than ever, changes are needed in Australia’s family law system. Across Australia, fathers are being ...

Visiting the dentist has all the appeal of cleaning my daughters’ long, clagged hair out of the shower drain. I visit annually because it is the right thing to do. Each visit follows a predictable pattern. I arrive early at the clinic. I eagerly anticipate being able to read a National Geographic (I have allergies to sitting still doing nothing and like learning things) and ultimately am disappointed by the tattered ...

School holidays shared with my daughters ought to be a fun time. I have a notion that the week-long blocks of time I share with my daughters during school holidays should be blissful. Yet, day three into the week with my daughters, and I was terrified as my racing-harness chair tipped back enough for my stomach to spill into my mouth. I sensed my centre of gravity was about to topple ...

Dad’s log. Day 3 of our 8-day expedition of exploration… my crew of two settled excitedly into their temporary resort environment. Their sense of holiday time gives them cause to make the argument that five serves of vegetable and two of fruit does not apply. “But, Daa-aad… it’s holidays… we ought to be having fun!” is their reasoned argument against not tending to the standard chores. Somehow the crew have morphed ...

Parental alienation is a systemic plague infecting the family court system. Inoculating the courts against this would clear the emotional quagmire brought on by The Court of Emotion’s atrocious toxic waiting queue in a matter of months. Not only this, the disproportionately high suicide rate among men, as well as domestic violence numbers, would likely nosedive across the board. Defusing the manipulative device, instead of downplaying its effects, can go a ...

I hold a lofty ideal for my daughters. Lofty and simple. I want them to be sure in believing that they are wholesome people of value, who can tend generously to others and themselves. If I am doing well as a mindful dad, then I am setting my daughters up to be caring companions to friend, family and foreigner. As they develop the skills to rely less on me and fend ...

Joe is a mate of mine. “Mate” hardly describes our connection, yet the sporadic contact belies a relationship that holds strong meaning for me. Joe is pretty much anonymous to most, but that is of his own making. He is humble at a time when indulgence and opulence seemed to be currency. For a long time, he struggled as an artisan. Other carpentry shops that ran slave labour gazumped the hand-crafted ...

I am more than a little miffed at Myer. Before I realised that I was watching an ad, the baited opening line invited, “Ever wonder where wonderful went?” and my drifting mind was hooked. I had been suckered into a wistful memory of the wonder of my own childhood. “When we were small, wonderful was everywhere.” In my world, it still is. My wonder is in taking pause when my Year ...

As a kid, an atlas could hold me entranced for hours. The individually coloured lands and crazy contortions of coastlines mesmerised me. My boyhood fascination for maps was revived last week as I arrived for dinner at Simon’s grandparents’. Simon and his pop were surveying a school atlas. Because I am not so modest with my adventures, I turned the conversation to how I had flown to the other side of ...

I match up as a handyman as Arnold Schwarzenegger would as a ballet dancer. For me, anything more complicated than stapling four pieces of paper is a project. It requires plans, an almighty amount of careful thought and concerted visualisation. Therefore, offering to build my daughter a robot costume for the Book Week parade a couple of years ago was both terrifying and exciting. The terrifying thought came of my own ...

My adult world is full of rich delights. I am gifted with hearty friends who circle their wagons of calm and joy around me from time to time. Close by is the great peace of an imposing mountain with the settling sheen of a pure white coat. I can gaze towards the tower of dolerite while the nearby waves shush my racing headspace. My grown-up place features work that is rewarding, ...

There are hills surrounding Hobart that shouldn’t be attempted without crampons and ropes. Building on the side of such precipices affords extensive vistas over the city and beyond to a succession of mountains or ocean horizon. The gentler slopes also made for a great proving ground for my daughters as toddlers when gravity plucked hold of them to propel them forward while their trainee legs worked to get ahead of their ...

There’s a temptation to focus on the joy and wonder of birth and the bond between a young baby and its mother. But it’s undeniable that the experience for dads is inherently different, whether it’s pregnancy, birth, taking care of a tiny infant, or parenting a toddler, youth, tween, and teen. Two Mindsets After decades of our society striving towards gender equality, I still see that men and women approach parenting ...

The family law system is unfairly stacked against separated fathers who simply want joint custody of their children. “Custody — Blood is Thicker Than Water” is an inspiring true story of a loving father who fought the system so that he could be a dad to his son. As Dads, we are all our brother’s keepers. In this case, Single Dads are our brothers. We must all do our best to ...