Life with two small kids can feel like trying to juggle while running a marathon. What my wife and I are learning is that the best thing we can do at this stage in our lives is to put down a few balls and just run with the ones that matter most.

When I think about my life before kids, a pang of nostalgia can hit, followed by ripples of guilt. Back then, my days were extremely full: work, spontaneous travel, hobbies, a full social calendar, and endless personal projects. I thrived on being busy and constantly moving from one thing to the next.

Now, as a father of two very young and dependent children, my life looks different. Our toddler is full of energy, testing every boundary, and on the verge of dropping her last nap. Meanwhile, our 10-month-old just learnt to crawl, and now he traverses the house, stopping to study everything in his path, and constantly creating danger for himself.

After a full day of raising our beautiful kids, my wife is understandably exhausted. And after long hours working from home to provide for them, I am too. But by the time I knock off, hobbies and social outings are the last thing on my mind. After some play time, a family walk, and the dinner-bath-bed routine, the day is mostly accounted for, and the thin sliver of evening that remains is mostly for recovery so I can get up and do it all again the next day.

Some days, I feel guilty about how “unsocial” my life has become. But I’m starting to see an important truth: this stage of life isn’t about me — it’s about them. And scaling back now doesn’t mean giving up on the things I enjoy, but making space for what really counts.

Here are some of the simple lessons I’ve been learning:

1. Simplify Your Schedule

Pruning a tree is counterintuitive. By cutting back, you produce more — and better quality — fruit. It’s the same with scaling back your commitments while raising young kids.

If you want your children to flourish, it might mean shelving your plans for full-day outings, saying no to minor work obligations or overtime, or pressing pause on your plans for another home project (admittedly, this last one is a big challenge for me).

Church and extended family gatherings are our only predictable commitments as a family right now, and I’m learning to be okay with that.

2. Protect Your Energy

Working long hours — whether at home, in the office, or minding children — can be exhausting. Even on a normal afternoon, my wife and I sometimes look at each other and question if we’ve got anything left to give beyond keeping the kids alive until bedtime. I can’t imagine throwing a full social calendar into the mix.

Scaling back and saying no has been important in guarding our energy at this stage of our kids’ lives. We’re not giving up — we’re simply trying to give our best where it matters.

As a dad, I don’t just want to be physically present with my children in the evenings and on weekends, but a shell of myself. I want to enjoy their company, invest in them, and give them a childhood — and a father — they will cherish for life.

3. Remember the Big Picture

It’s easy to get lost in the day-to-day chaos — the spilled snacks, the endless questions, and the toddlers testing every boundary. But this stage is fleeting. The time I spend being fully present now is an investment in my children that will last a lifetime.

Someday soon, I’ll have more time to pursue my interests, go on long bike rides again, and spend weekends away with friends, all without a tiny spectator underfoot.

But those “somedays” aren’t now. Right now, the best use of my energy is here, with my children, embracing the beautiful chaos, knowing it will pass before I blink.

So take a leaf from my book: trim the branches, treasure these fleeting days, and try not to feel so guilty about it.

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Image courtesy of Pexels.