When we discovered that Baby 2 was on her way, we were delighted, but also a tad concerned about how Baby 1 would react. Barely a toddler, he would have to learn how to share parental attention, toys and more. Would he react with understanding and love, or insecurity and envy?

The way his sister entered into his life made it even more difficult. Our son had been sleeping through the night and gradually weaning himself naturally, not requiring breastfeeding to put him to bed, but just holding my hair for comfort.

Then Baby 2 decided that 1 a.m. was the perfect time to begin her entry into the world, and all our lives were turned topsy-turvy for 24 hours as we hurriedly deposited Baby 1 with his godparents, rushed to hospital, gave birth, and then dealt with a dead car battery.

Adjusting

It took 14 hours for Dad to get back to his son, and the little chap was not pleased at all, suffering this abrupt abandonment with much sobbing. When he came to the hospital the following day, he pretended not to know me for the first 15 minutes.

But he saw his little sister, and it was love at first sight. He patted her head gently as he gazed into her scrunched-up face.

The next morning, I woke up to find that he was still patting her head in his sleep, as they dozed peacefully together.

Since then, there have certainly been sibling squabbles and jockeying for position, especially as Little Sister has become able to ingest solids and wants to eat or drink everything from Big Brother’s plate, bowl or cup (even if she has the same thing in her dish – it must be superior if Brother has it!).

She also gets terribly upset if Brother gets to go out with Dad, and wails to be included. (This often works in her favour, but sometimes Dad does not want to deal with two car seats while dashing for some groceries or a meal.)

Mutual Gifts

But by and large, our progeny co-exist joyfully, taking delight in each other’s existence. We are careful to treat them as equally or equitably as possible – if he gets a new toy, she gets one, and so on. They often want to wear each other’s hats or new clothes, not wanting to miss out.

Grace and humour are needed to manage some of these situations when their competitive streak comes out, or when they aren’t ready to share. Sometimes, all they need is a bit more attention or quality time, an assurance that they are loved.

Each clash is a learning opportunity, a practicing ground for future social interactions with friends and the wider community – learning manners and how to negotiate peaceably for finite resources.

Now, Baby 3 is on the way – fresh complexities await! How do you manage sibling rivalry in your family?

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Image courtesy of Adobe.