Ten years ago, Hogan Hilling and Austin Dowd began collecting passionate, tender photos and eloquent, heartfelt comments from a diverse group of fathers from around the world. Dadly Dads (published by Motivational Press) showcases the good nature, wisdom and value of men in the lives of their children. Dads4Kids contributor Don Mathis recently revised his chapter from page 156.

Poetic Dad:

I’m a father of one son, Charlie, and the grandfather of Dominic and Lynnea. I’m also a poet and freelance writer in San Antonio. Much of what I write is about fatherhood. I celebrate milestones of my son with memorial poems about life’s passages. Now that my grandchildren (grands) have entered school, there is another round of discoveries to experience.

For 25 years, I published The Fourteen Percenter, a newsletter for non-custodial parents. In the USA, most divorced dads only get to see their kids every other weekend, about 14 percent of their children’s life; that’s not enough. I still encourage mothers and fathers to stay involved in the lives of their kids in articles for Dads4Kids and the Good Man Project.

Poetry is my passion. I attend open-mic poetry readings and writers’ workshops almost every week. Several times a year, I am asked to recite a poem for a festival, a museum, or a holiday event. Thousands of people have enjoyed poetry, relished the luminescence of a festival, and experienced the cool evening of a South Texas season.

My batteries are recharged by stage performances at local theatres. Some of my favourite concerts have featured Willie Nelson, Paul McCartney, Dolly Parton, and the Beach Boys. I also appreciate dance troupes (Pilobolus), musicals (Pirates of Penzance), and enjoyed taking my grands to the opera (Hansel and Gretel) and ballet (Beauty and the Beast). Sometimes, as a journalist, I get the opportunity to interview my favourite stars.

What I Do Well as a Dad:

I get the important things accomplished as a father. If my son had a homework assignment, I made sure he finished it. I also made time to create adventures with him – and to use those memories as a foundation for a relationship.

As budget and time permitted, we have travelled to New Orleans, San Francisco, Washington, D.C., Mount Rushmore, and many other places.  Now, as a grandparent, I get to create adventures and memories with my family of destiny.

What I Learned from Another Dad:

I’ve learned that love is spelled T-I-M-E! Make time to spend with your child, especially during their early life. You will never get another shot at a kid’s formative years.

Lesson Learned from My Child:

“The growth that comes between a father and a son is a two-way street. It makes a life complete.” This is a line from my poem “Children That Belong to Other Men.” I have been inspired by my son as well as fathers and poets from across the centuries.

“The Child is Father of the Man” is a line from a poem by William Wordsworth. This might mean that as children, we invent ourselves as individuals, i.e., that we raise our own adult self. But to me, ‘child is father of the man’ means that maturation takes place in the involved father.

Some people do not grow up until faced with the responsibility of an offspring. The accountability one assumes for his child is very heady stuff. I sometimes wonder who grows up more in a father/child relationship; the dad or the kid.

Successful Fatherhood Moment: 

When my young son was riding his bicycle one day, one of the training wheels came loose and was about to fall off. Charlie kept his bike upright by making sure it didn’t rest on the wobbly wheel. The training wheel eventually came off, and he didn’t even notice; he just kept on peddling.

When he did look back and saw the wheel lying on the ground, I thought he was going to ask me to put it back on. Instead, he asked me to take the other one off. After I removed it, Charlie continued to ride his bike down the trail and into the future. It was a milestone moment; a memory I still treasure.

A Dad I Admire:  

My brother Ted is a father I admire. He adopted two children and has done everything possible to provide for them and to instil the values he deems important. When his children chose to follow a path that he didn’t approve, my brother accepted their decision rather than risk losing the relationship. He has the Wisdom of Solomon and the Patience of Job.

My Father’s Quotation: 

A short pencil is better than a long memory. – Dan Mathis