Recently, I have been pondering the relevance of this statement in my own life. It has been a number of years since I separated, but I still struggle with a lack of vision for my life. It doesn’t really matter how you come to be separated from your children and their mother, I think at some time we all experience the same thing — a need to re-evaluate our vision for ...

Plan some time out for yourself — things you enjoy doing, with friends or alone. It maybe off to the sports arena, or the movies, or just a simple lunch at the fish markets. Try inviting some friends over if you can cook, or invite yourself over to some friends. It doesn’t have to be expensive to have fun. Cook yourself breakfast in bed, or have a video day. Plan some ...

A few years ago I was a happily married man — a beautiful wife, three sons, a home  that  was well on the way to being paid off, a job, and settled in the community.  We had just had our 10-year anniversary — a night on the town for the family.  A few bumps along the way, including some really tough surprises with our sons’ births, but everything was fine — ...

As I walked up the main street of Wollongong one day this week, I heard a voice cry out my name. It was an old friend of mine, whom I knew was now a single dad. He had experienced the full brunt of the Family Court’s injustice. His divorce was both painful and bitter. Simon had subsequently walked away from a very good job on the wharves and become another one ...

At primary school, my eldest son was very keen on cricket. Big problem: the school was not connected into the local cricket team network. So he networked. Cajoling staff and friends’ parents alike, he sweet-talked everyone into joining the competition. There were no teachers involved, little sports gear, no school time practice and no coach… Me? I was so sick with asthma until I was 12 that I never got the ...

It is a well-known adage that evil triumphs when good men do nothing. The events of history testify to the truth of this saying. Yet, there are plenty of examples in history of good men accepting the authority of a tyrannical government. The apostle Paul was a Jew living under the dominance of a conquering nation, the Romans. Despite this, he taught that it was important to be obedient and submissive ...

Each year in Australia thousands of children are being mentally and emotionally abused by the Family Court of Australia by being forced to participate in an investigation of their parents’ competency. This process is called a ‘Family Report’. Many children are severely harmed by the experience. Family Reports are a massive and unjustified violation of the rights of children and parents. They contribute significantly to the social tragedy of the separation ...

In June, 2000, a 44-year-old father experiencing family separation killed himself in the bush in the Victorian Gippsland region. Greg Wilton had a five-year-old son and a two-year-old daughter. This event made national news because Greg Wilton was also a federal parliamentarian. Each year in Australia, more than 2,500 people die by suicide. This is significantly more than the national road toll (about 1,700). Most people are aware of the focus ...

I recently represented the Fatherhood Foundation (Dads4Kids) at a national workshop conducted by the Department of Health and Ageing. Our task was to contribute towards an understanding of suicide amongst men in the 25-44 age group, and to assist in developing a strategic approach to prevention. Some of the discussions and debates about the causes of suicide within this age group reminded me of the children’s story about the animals that ...

I heard recently that over half of the Australian veterans of the first Gulf War still suffer from ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’ and that many of them will probably never recover. The focus of counselling services appears to be to encourage and help veterans learn to live with the symptoms of this disorder. A similar approach is being used to deal with problems faced by separated fathers. These fathers are being told ...

There are quite a few things that I like about the Easter holidays. I like the traditional early morning surfs at my local beach. The king tides sometimes cover a rock outcrop that normally remains exposed at high tide. When the swell is small, this produces a nice little wave that I usually get to surf on my own. By the time other surfers become aware of it, the tide begins ...

A few days ago, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Information Minister, stared unblinkingly into a camera and declared that the US invaders were surrounded by Iraqi soldiers and were about to surrender. The thinking and understanding of many Iraqi people had been so primed and manipulated by deceptions and lies for so many years that they would have accepted this statement without question. On Thursday the true situation was revealed as ...

The Childcare Industry and the De-Fathering of Society Part 5 The preceding articles in this series have argued that while the Federal Government’s generosity and concern for families may be genuine, its actions are lopsided, biased against non-custodial parents, and contribute to the de-fathering of society. The crisis of fatherless children is compounded by the fact that there are few male role models working in childcare centres. And when children leave ...

The Childcare Industry and the De-Fathering of Society Part 4 Government funding of the childcare industry was not designed to remove children from their fathers. The fact that it does so is a consequence of the cultural bias against separated fathers that exists in our culture. This bias pervades every aspect and level of society. It means that in the development of government policies, and in the Opposition parties’ response to ...

The Childcare Industry and the De-Fathering of Society Part 3 The childcare industry is experiencing phenomenal growth and providing lucrative returns for the owners of private childcare centres. This growth is fed by the provision of government funding for childcare. While the subsidies are designed to encourage mothers of young children to work, the benefits are available also to sole mothers. However the ‘assistance’ sole parents get from other government agencies ...

The Childcare Industry and the De-Fathering of Society Part 2 One of the most notable features of the present Federal Government is its desire to help families. However, the impact of its policies often goes well beyond its intentions. Sometimes, at great expense, a new set of problems is created far greater than those being solved. Consider the Federal Government’s funding of childcare centres. The benefits provided have increased six-fold over ...

The Childcare Industry and the De-Fathering of Society Part 1 Prime Minister John Howard has stated that no previous government has done as much as the present one in helping families. If the degree of help can be measured by the level of government spending on assistance programmes, then this is undeniably true. Mr Howard is clearly genuine in his concern for families and in his compassion for children. His government ...

My last article mentioned a report from the Australian Institute of Family Studies that revealed that an alarmingly high number of children spend the day with their father but never sleep over. These children, and their fathers, are being denied the opportunity for a normal parent/child relationship and all the benefits that accrue from this. They are children who only visit their father. They have no sense of being at home ...

One of the reasons my life has been so good is that I have had a good father. I also want to be a good father to my own children. However, the freedom to make this choice no longer exists for separated fathers in Australian society. Family Law legislation in Australia has removed from me my authority as a father and placed it in the hands of anonymous government bureaucrats who ...

Most separated fathers would understand that the most effective way to achieve fairness and equity in family law is through legislative reform. This reform needs to be underpinned and sustained by a change in social values that re-establishes a recognition of the value of fathering. The frontline for both these battles is the federal parliament. It’s worthwhile, therefore, to continue my report on the recent meeting held at Parliament House by ...