By David D Coleman

One of the best conversations I’ve had this year revolved around male responsibility. What is a responsibility? What is the male responsible for? What is the guiding force in determining any of the above?

Those are some tough questions. You would probably get a different answer from each person you ask. I submit that this is what makes the answer even more critical.

A Question of Purpose and Identity

Self-awareness stood out most to me. I’ve often grappled with the questions, “Who am I?” or “Why am I here?”. In my journey from boy to man, those have been my guiding force questions.

I reached a point in my life when I couldn’t answer the questions. As a result, I was subject to whatever anyone in my ear said about me.

After years of this, I realised I was heading in the wrong direction.

My inner compass told me something was wrong. I had to be built up from the ground floor based on who I am and knowing why I am here (purpose). When a male can answer this question or is on a quest seeking the answer, he is on route to becoming the best version of himself.

Importance of Rites of Passage

As the conversation progressed, we discussed rites of passage in their simplest form. What event in your family signifies when the boy transitions into a man? If it’s missing, there is a need to create one. It creates an expectation.

For example, I was told that the men in my family take care of their children. Now that I’m a father, not only do I understand the importance of carrying on the tradition. But I know that it’s equally essential that the same culture is instilled in those coming behind me.

It’s also important to teach young men about future planning, instruct them on how to construct goals, and develop the necessary discipline to achieve said goals. As men, we also have a social and moral responsibility to our family and community.

Investing in the Future

In this day and age, I hear many conversations about youth and how some lack direction and investment in their lives.

We are socially and morally obligated to do more than report on the “problem.” We must engage the next generation, if only one at a time, to offer attention, love, and guidance.

Otherwise, we run the risk of multiplying generations lacking guidance (the youth of today will eventually reach adulthood and reproduce).

In conclusion, be mindful that although the definition of male responsibility may change based on the individual and their life experience, the basic tenets are the same. Self-awareness, passing the torch, and social/moral responsibility are key.

I encourage you all to begin conversations on male responsibility in a constructive way that will build responsible and productive men.

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Originally published at Heart & Soul of a Single Dad. Image via Adobe.