Thoughts have been running through my head about what makes a dad and what makes a father. It isn’t enough for me to sit still on such immense questions. I have even steered some of my dad-mates into the banter with a genuine desire to land a correct answer. “Dad” or “Father”? To me, there is a heartfelt warmth to being a dad. Father sounds more formal, somewhat elusive and too-busy-for-play ...

It started with an alarm I forgot to set the night before. That meant I was awoken unceremoniously by my little boy precisely half an hour late. Of course, this was the day I had a 9 am deadline and an 8.45 am start at playgroup (where I help set up). Flinging clothes in the general direction of two wriggling bodies, I managed to get the boys dressed between ‘computer stops,’ ...

We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly a lot of stress going around with pandemic-induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience — the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite a bit of information on personal resilience, and it’s a buzzword in education these days, but ...

Kevin Allen was a pretty committed father before he did the ‘Good to Great’ Fathering Course. When he completed the course in 2019, he went through a supercharging process in his fathering. I can remember talking with Kevin shortly after he finished the course. He told me at the time that his business bottom line had improved markedly. More importantly, his relationships with his three young children had changed completely for ...

I was asked to share some of my experiences of being a dad. The only reason that I am doing so is that I was the first to say “yes” to the invitation. Your story is as unique as mine. Your tales of being a dad are equally special. Your own feelings about being a proud dad are as genuine as mine and your dad jokes are likely to be just ...

Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value — something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late, may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing financial debt, avoiding anticipated conflict at home, or being appreciated by colleagues All of these ...

Gratitude is one way to ensure that life is always experienced in the positive. It’s a choice that takes practice and as such, is a skill that can be taught. I believe that learning the basics of good old-fashioned “please” and “thank you” is the foundation for learning gratitude. When you have to say thank you for everything, you teach yourself to be grateful for everything. Early Days So, we start ...

“Love is the greatest force in the universe”. These are the words of Dr Martin Luther King, America’s greatest civil rights leader. Dr King was assassinated in 1968 and so proved these words in unmistakable fashion. Twenty years ago, on 1 May 2002, Dads4Kids was officially incorporated as a charitable association. Our mission remains the same as it was then. Our main focus is still a better life for our children: ...

Modelling gratitude to your children helps them form the habit of being thankful and displaying appreciation to those around them. I am sure you have all witnessed your own child or someone else’s at Christmas, receiving so many gifts that they are not even excited or thankful by the end of the paper-ripping and gift-opening frenzy! Babies are not born grateful and toddlers are fully self-obsessed, so the art of gratefulness ...

Actor James Hong’s grit and determination to triumph against all odds is a great example for parents, who have multiple challenges to face. With a supportive community of people in the same boat, we can coast to victory in our parenting journey as well. Parenting inspiration can come from unlikely sources. It doesn’t take much to transfer skills from the testimony of just about anyone who’s faced what they see as, ...

Five more tips for dads on how to maximise your Minecraft gaming fun for some quality time with your children. For decades, I’ve been an avid videogame consumer. From an Amstrad in the ’80s, to rented Nintendos in the 90s, to console, and PC level MMORGs in the 00s, videogaming has been part of the casual way I’ve spent my downtime. While I’ve all but resigned from this virtual playground — ...

Seize the moment and spend time with the people you love and doing the things which you actually want to do. We are not guaranteed tomorrow — let us make the best use of today. We need to live now, not in the past, or in the future. Jonathan Larson was wise to say, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” Steve Maraboli put it this way, “At the end ...

Putting aside your ego and having the humility to seek advice or help, or learn more from others, is essential in maturing as a father and helping your family as a whole. Chris Gardner credits the power of being teachable for raising him and his son out of homelessness. The single dad at the centre of the movie The Pursuit of Happyness wasn’t always a fan of asking questions. Retrospectively, Gardner ...

Managing each other’s expectations in a relationship can be challenging, but here are five steps to building the trust required for a solid foundation from which you can grow together. Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do, so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what ...

Becoming a man and a father requires the ability to commit to your family and to sacrifice for them. Here is a frank interview of a dad who had to learn the virtue of commitment while on the job. Benjamin Franklin said, “Honesty is the best policy.” Zig Ziglar, one of the world’s greatest motivational speakers, put it this way, “The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, ...

Intentionally creating adventures for your children helps your family to grow and bond together in memorable ways which build an excellent foundation for a lifetime. I believe it is a father’s job to create adventures for his children. Pam Brown put it so beautifully in her famous quote, “Dads are most ordinary men turned by love into heroes, adventurers, storytellers, and singers of songs.” Some time ago, I wrote of one ...

Encouraging our children to dream and have a vision to work towards, can help them set goals and get their creative juices flowing, beginning a lifelong quest to build a better future. Saturday morning, driving home from the beach, my 12-year-old son and me, reminiscing and reliving every wave, every manoeuvre, the joy and delight from our early morning surf. Life couldn’t be any better, until… “Dad, look at that, ooohhhh ...

Children are in the process of learning how to coordinate their bodies and they are naturally curious about exploring the world around them, hence accident-prone. Their immune systems are developing, and they can become very ill. Knowing how to do first aid on your child — or his friends — can save a life. Whenever I hear about a tragic accident involving a baby or child on the news, my heart ...

Parenting a strong-willed child can be challenging, but with various techniques, it can be very rewarding. Channel their energy into productive activities, and communicate clearly with them to achieve mutual goals. I’ll begin by saying: I love my strong-willed child. She’s full of light, is daring, boisterous, spirited, and loud. Strong-willed children, as defined by Psychology Today, are children ‘who are stubborn and always have to get their way.’ Writing for ...

Are you able to graciously accept a “no”, or would you be cross and upset about it? I find it hard to say no to a lot of the opportunities in my life. The big opportunities that are life-changing, I pray about and give some thought to before saying yes. But the little decisions here and there of being asked to do this and whether I’d like to do that, I ...