Embracing Hope in Our Marriage
Marriage is a sacrament, a path to holiness where we’re called to mirror Christ’s selfless love. Yet expectations turn it into a transaction: “I’ll love you if you meet my standards.” Hope, on the other hand, is like holding our desires with open hands. It’s rooted in trust, not control.
Walking the Talk is More Than You Think
This morning, a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was not only good for physical health, but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were ...
Why Reality TV Makes Us Stupider
These days, we rightly talk a lot about exploitation and abuse. It comes in many forms, and we worry we might walk past it without noticing. Recently 665,000 Australians not only walked past, but sat and watched something that we should recognise for what it really is – workplace exploitation ...
Arguments: It’s All About Connection
No one likes being in an argument. Arguments stir up intense emotions and can leave us feeling misunderstood and wounded. Yet, not all arguments are equal. Arguments mean different things in different circumstances. An argument is defined as a work of persuasion. We use arguments to convince others of our ...
Happy Couple or Happy Parents
A recent study has found that couples without kids are much happier in their marriage than those with kids. Should I be worried? Thankfully, the same study showed that mums were happiest of all, but dads were amongst the unhappiest -- perhaps because of the strain parenting has put on ...
The Science, Art and Spirit of Communication
Communication is fundamental to our relationships and the flourishing of families. If we want to do it well, there is a science, art and spirit to communication. We all like to think of ourselves as good communicators. Unfortunately, what that usually means is: I have lots to say and I’m ...
Managing Differences
Different personalities. Different upbringing. Different education. Different sexes. Sometimes different ethnic or religious backgrounds. With so many differences between us, is it any wonder that making decisions as a couple is complicated and sometimes conflictual? We unpack the SmartLoving framework for managing differences and making couple decisions. Byron and Francine ...
How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble
When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and ...
Staying Power
Walk through any quality '80s film, and the reoccurring theme is staying power. Daniel LaRusso, Rocky Balboa, Indiana Jones, Luke Skywalker, and Han Solo? Staying power. Axel Foley, Ripley (Aliens), John McClane, Mr Miyagi, and Maverick? Again, staying power. Add to this, characters played by some of the 80's best ...
The Smarter Way to Love
Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires a conscious decision and focused investment. Loving the Smart way is easy when you know how. Our romance was a whirlwind of delight and passion. Over an intense two years, we courted with a dedicated focus: from the very beginning, it ...
Incompatible Expectations
I wasn’t expecting that! We’ve explored how our formation in our family of origin continues to play out throughout our marriages. There are typically three ways in which our formation can pose challenges for us and today we explore the first of these: incompatible expectations. Growing up, Francine’s father was ...
How Ryan Gosling is Going to Save Your Marriage
It’s true! And now there’s a study that proves it. Finally, I have the ammunition I need to convince hubby that our next date night movie should be a rom-com, rather than an action flick. Researchers who conducted a study involving 174 couples found that those who discussed five movies ...
Boundaries
The proverb, “Good fences make good neighbours,” has a great deal of wisdom. The concept of having clearly defined boundaries helps us to develop healthy relationships. When people know the limits of what they can demand from a relationship, it allows all parties to enjoy it. Hidden agendas evaporate, and ...
The Forever Conversation
At some point, every couple will have the Forever Conversation -- the discussion that explores their long-term commitment. It’s no secret to anyone that the incidence of cohabitation has increased. In fact, a couple who hasn’t cohabited is increasingly rare, even in the Catholic formation circles where we work. For ...
Attention-Deficit Marriages
In a fast-paced world, our attention is a rare and valuable commodity. Is your marriage suffering from attention deficiency? True confession: some evenings you’ll find us sitting on the couch with the TV playing, and us both on our laptops or other individual devices. We know -- it’s not particularly ...
Ain’t Marriage Grand!
What makes for an epic marriage? A marriage that faces and transcends challenges and obstacles, that has an interior resilience and grace that comes from the God who is always ready to encourage us. We recently attended two weddings of close family friends. This time, a different part of the ...
Divorce Proof Relationship Resolutions
January 3 is known as ‘divorce day’ – the most popular day for women to file for divorce. Perhaps because they’ve held it together for the festive season but can’t keep up the charade any longer. Sadly, most men don’t see it coming. Going through life blissfully unaware that their partner is ...
Marital Resilience
Let’s face it – marriage is a tough gig these days. With divorce rates higher than we’d like, too many families are being torn apart by marriage breakdown. What can couples do to immunise their marriages against this tragedy? Marital resilience starts with a well-grounded understanding of what marriage is ...
Burn the Boats
A recent analysis of modern-day wedding vows reveals around a third of couples shunning the traditional commitment for life. According to the results, 34% dumped the phrase ‘until death do us part’. This really shouldn’t surprise us as the prevailing message young couples hear is that divorce is not only ...
Sexual Differences – Respect and Cherishment
When we understand our sexual differences, we are empowered to use them constructively to build great relationships. We’ve always maintained that our differences are something to celebrate; that they allow us to more deeply appreciate the unique contribution we each make to our shared life. We can be different, with differing ...
Choosing to Love
If there is one thing that makes motherhood so worth celebrating, it’s a mother’s capacity for love for her children. Whether it’s her willingness to give over her body to nourish a newborn, her patience with the endless ‘but why’ questions of a toddler, or the testing rebellion of a ...
Trigger Warning: There’s a Landmine Below
Over the previous columns, we have been exploring how our formation from our family of origin can continue to impact us and our marriage negatively. In this article, we want to unpack the third and final way our formation experiences play out – through emotional injuries. Some years ago, Francine ...
Programmed for Love or for Trouble?
We were recently hosted overnight in the country home of friends. It was a beautiful experience in every way. Our hosts greeted us with warmth, housed us in a tastefully appointed bedroom and nourished us with a delightful meal. Their home was a beauty to behold; magnificent views overlooking the ...
Prayer for Couples in Times of Trouble
We had a request recently from someone looking for a prayer for a couple going through tough times in their marriage. While we were very happy to oblige, it struck us that for many couples in this situation, prayer is often far from their thoughts, and yet, it is one ...
Mid-Life Madness and other Stressors
As mid-lifers in the midst of working through some of our ‘issues’, we are acutely aware of how easy it would be to let our individual stuff derail our marriage. It’s normal for a person in midlife to be irritable and volatile. Some react with depressive symptoms, others get angry ...
Forgiveness is the Life Blood of Marriage
“Forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Lk 23:24). These words of Jesus as he was being crucified were meant not just for his executioners, but for all of us. His love transcends all our limitations and failures and calls us into life. We all have someone to ...
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The Daily Dad is a forum for Dads to be able to express themselves and encourage other dads. Mothers write articles as well. The opinions of the various writers are not necessarily the opinion of Dads4Kids. Read More
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