Once a Father, Always a Father
When your children have their own children, you get a promotion and join the elite group known as grandfathers. This elevation provides you with a whole new set of responsibilities, opportunities and joys.
The Horrendous Harms of Fatherlessness
“No generation knows better than ours the terrible consequences of growing up without a father. Fatherless boys are far more likely to grow up and commit violent crime, mistreat women, and act out against society in every other way. Girls who do not have a father to honour -- and, hopefully, to love as well -- are more likely to seek the wrong men and to be promiscuous at an early ...
In the Company of Great Men
2018 was a breakthrough year for me. The preceding few years had been particularly difficult, thanks to some bad decisions on my part, both in business and in my relationships. Looking back, I had fallen into passivity and failed to see the warning signs around me. Even when I was paying attention, I was slow to take action, and came close to losing my marriage and everything I had worked for. ...
Widowhood is a Process, Not an Identity
Grief is like being “concussed, or slightly drunk”, C.S Lewis mused. It is, he added, an “invisible blanket between the world and me… her absence is like the sky, spread over everything”. Imagining marriage as one ship, C.S. Lewis wrote, “the starboard engine has gone. I, the port engine, must chug along somehow till we make harbour. Or rather, till the journey ends.” Vulnerable and mourning the loss of his wife, ...
Snake Stories for Young and Old
Recently I caught a Diamond Python on my daily prayer walk in the rainforest at Mt Kembla, near where I live in Wollongong, Australia. Someone asked me, “Why did you catch it?” That is a good question. If the truth is to be known, I cannot help myself. I love snakes. Think of it as an unusual addiction. It is part of our Marsh family heritage. It must be embedded in ...
Ties That Bind – Long-Distance Grandparents
I’m a first-time Nonna -- however, my relationship with my new granddaughter is a long-distance one (my son and daughter-in-law live in California). But last week, they came home on vacation! I got to hold her tight against my chest and hear her breathe, I got to feel her soft skin, I got to smell her and listen to her voice. I got to look into her big blue eyes -- ...
Christmas in “Die-Hard” Dad Mode
I’m usually a lot better prepared for Christmas. Not this year. This year, the week to trump all weeks caught us off-guard. We missed a beat or two in preparation for the only few weeks capable of slowing down the Western world. The weeks that remind the Scrooges and time-poor alike that life is more than hyper-consumerism and a dreary, soul-sucking 8-5 existence. A rushed Christmas is not really Christmas at ...
When History Repeats, Choose Freedom
We remember sitting with a young couple who were locked in combat. She was prone to reactive outbursts and he was mystified as to what he was doing to trigger it. As we probed her about her family of origin, the penny dropped: she was repeating a relationship pattern that she had established with her mother. With this new insight, the couple was able to identify her conflict preconditions which equipped ...
Keep It Simple – Making Happy Families
Research shows that there are some basic habits that combine to make a winning formula for families with successful, well-adjusted children who will flourish in life. “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated,” are the wise words of Confucius. Albert Einstein said it this way: “Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler.” And one final word of wisdom from Steve Jobs is, “Simple ...
How Senior Couples Make Marriage Better
In a culture that glorifies youth and sanctions the euthanising of the sick and elderly, it’s easy to lose sight of the gift of seniors. Here are three ways that senior couples make marriage better for all of us. Earlier this year, Pope Francis released a series of homilies on the elderly. Each one explores a theme based on a significant figure in the scriptures, including Naomi, Joachim and Anne, Simeon ...
