My wife and I are in the process of adopting a baby girl, known affectionately as ‘Squish’ here at the Daily Dad until her adoption is finalised.

I am now writing a weekly column as we learn the ins and outs of parenting a newborn, and as we navigate the joys and challenges of adoption.

Here’s this week’s edition of ‘The Adventures of Squish’.

First, the Good News

The last week or so has been a rollercoaster of emotions.

First, the good news: TPR has gone through! That phrase might mean nothing to you, but it means the world in our household.

Here in the United States where we are adopting, termination of parental rights (TPR) is the most significant court case that takes place in the journey of adoption. Finalisation happens later, at around six months. But once TPR is done, it’s basically smooth sailing and only formalities that remain.

So this week, we are praising God for TPR. We are one giant step closer to having our forever Squish.

Now for the Bad News

I have promised in this column to share with you not just the joys but also the challenges of adoption. Honestly, a week ago, I would almost have said the challenges of adoption outweigh the joys.

For a while there, we were very fearful that we might lose our Squish, legally speaking, just days before the TPR court case.

It began last Monday, when Squish’s birth mother, with whom we have a great relationship, texted us to say the birth dad was moving up from another state, where he lives with his family.

They had broken up many months ago and had remained amicable. However, more recently, the two of them had apparently been getting closer again, especially due to the birth of Squish.

Now the father was moving up to where we all are in the Mid West, and his only connection here is Squish’s birth mother. This was all happening just days before the TPR court case.

Are They Going to Take Squish?

Now here’s where it is very difficult. Adoption is a beautiful thing. But God’s first and best plan is the natural family. My wife and I are extremely pro-family. Who would we be to interfere if Squish’s birth parents wanted to get back together and keep Squish?

On the other hand, it would be heartbreaking to say goodbye to her. Unimaginable. After all that we have been through to reach this point, all the love we poured out and invested into little Squish.

Making matters even more intimidating was that Squish’s birth dad was making the nine-hour drive up with his mother and step-dad, who were eager to meet Squish. Fair enough, of course — but as you can imagine, all of these events put the wind up us.

By the way, we weren’t being paranoid. Our case worker was quite concerned about these developments. And on the day the birth dad was to arrive, it dawned on Squish’s birth mum that the dad’s extended family might have their own plans for Squish — plans to take her home or place her with a relative.

The whole thing would be a tragic, messy legal situation. And before the TPR court hearing, there would be nothing we, as prospective adoptive parents, could do about it.

All’s Well That Ends Well

The day Squish’s birth dad arrived with his family, we met them in a park not too far from our house. As it turns out, they are lovely people. They just wanted to meet their newest biological relative, get to know us, take some photos, and give us a few gifts. The meeting went better than we had hoped.

And in the end, Squish’s birth dad only stayed a night. His accommodation fell through, and he had second thoughts about moving up, so he returned the next day with his family.

Despite the ups and downs from our point of view, Squish’s birth parents have remained unmoved from the start. They are both very young, are no longer in a relationship, and neither of them is in a position to be able to provide for or raise a child.

Adoption is their only real option — and we are delighted to be able to step in as Squish’s parents in an otherwise impossible situation.

The natural family might be God’s first and best plan. But it is not His only plan. We live in an imperfect world with messy situations and hardships of every kind. Fortunately, our God is a God of redemption — and adoption is part of His redemption story. And it’s part of Squish’s, too.