Almost everyone agrees that communication -- good communication -- is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for a different kind of communication to what we might use when encouraging a child struggling to ...
We’ve all been in that situation. A friend or relative confides in us that they are having some marriage trouble. We want to help but knowing what to do that is genuinely helpful is tricky. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. Use your best listening skills: give your full attention, validate the thoughts, emotions and needs expressed: “What I hear you saying is…” While it’s important for your ...
Nobody is perfect, and familiarity breeds contempt. It is far too easy to resent family members when they fall short of our expectations, especially when we are under stressful conditions. Pausing to examine your negative thoughts and put them in perspective can save your mental health and your marriage. There’s nothing like the turnover of the year for stimulating lifestyle re-evaluation. How can we make the Christmas spirit of ‘peace and ...
Parenting expert Michelle Mitchell shares pointers on how to address the thorny topic of premarital sex with your teenaged daughter. Sexual intimacy is a wonderful gift but it can also be a source of great harm when misused. It is essential to provide guidance on this aspect of human relationships, particularly as your children experience puberty. Parent Question: My daughter is 15 and has recently fallen for a really lovely boy. ...
Every New Year is a fresh opportunity to start anew. Take this chance to assess your life and implement achievable steps to practise good habits and prioritise what matters most. We each have only so many years on this earth -- make this year a great one! Only six more sleeps and we all enter the New Year together. How exciting! A New Year always brings new opportunities. Hundreds of millions ...
Our marriages deserve our very best, not just the dregs of ourselves. Take the opportunity this Christmas season and New Year to establish better habits and re-prioritise your loved ones. It’s that time of year again -- the season of joy and gluttony. By the time Christmas Day is over, our refrigerator will be filled with yummy, delectable leftovers. Unfortunately, not all leftovers are so delicious. Too often in a marriage, ...
Attentiveness and discipline are keys to listening well. When we take the time to listen to our spouse, we strengthen our relationship like nothing else. One of the most supremely loving gestures we can give another person is to listen to them. However, being heard is a rare experience for many of us. What makes it so hard to give this simple gift to each other? We remember those days so ...
Are you facing conflict in your marriage? Make the first move. Change your mindset, respond with compassion, dwell on the positives. Change begins with you. All changes in our relationships should start with ourselves. It may be comforting to blame our spouse for the inadequacies of our marriage and expect them to change and meet our demands. But this approach is not only ineffective; it is also unloving. The truth is, ...
Think about your “I do” and make it a daily one. Ask, what will “I do” for my marriage today? It’s a powerful strategy for both the good times and the bad. At a recent business conference, a speaker made an offhand remark about having to recommit to her marriage vows every day. It was in the context of a discussion about the challenges of change management and how reforming a company ...
It happens all the time: one of us does or says something and the other is triggered, reacting harshly. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to develop the virtue of restraint. While it is often associated with Buddhist meditation, mindfulness has actually been a feature of many religions under different names, including Christianity. It has also become an essential tool in the field of psychology for helping ...
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