Anything worth having is never free. As Francine and I raced around on a typical Saturday afternoon, we found ourselves at the local shopping village together. Never one to waste the opportunity to gain a ‘good husband’ brownie point, I declared we should have a ‘coffee date’. Naturally, Francine obliged — she practically never says no to a ‘date’, no matter how pathetic. (Have I ever mentioned my “do you want ...

A few weeks ago, on an impulse and wanting to share a snapshot of my post-separation status, I wrote a part-whimsical, part-serious piece about the worst parts of being a single dad. By implication, if some parts are worst, then there must be some best bits, says my cerebral dialogue. Voice Number One says the best bit is simply being a dad. Voice Number One ignores the “single” tag and just ...

Helicopter parents are well-meaning parents who hover over their kids. If something happens, heaven forbid, such as falling over, fighting over a toy, or getting a bad grade, helicopter parents swoop in and do everything they can to make things better. Sometimes being a helicopter parent is a good thing — in crowds, near water, or anywhere that physical danger exists. Stunted Growth But helicopter parenting when it’s playtime, sports time, ...

Family law expert Patrick Parkinson says Labor’s proposal to amend the Family Law Act is a radical change that will take Australia back to when mothers were granted primacy in custody battles. The results for dads will be devastating.

The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them to us; they were locked in a perpetual low-grade argument that never seemed to end. They were so ‘wired’, almost every ...

This week a television crew from the Japanese public broadcaster came to Sydney to interview family law specialist Justin Dowd, a former President of the NSW Law Society. Japan is considering a move away from mum-custody towards “joint parental authority” — which recognises that it’s in the best interests of children to have both mum and dad remain involved in their care. The Japanese crew came to Australia because they acknowledge ...

Now I’m a Nonna and have raised my own children, I can relax and watch as my son parents his little girl. I think back to myself as a young mum and I wonder what words of wisdom I could share with her. The things I know now — hmmm… I’m always learning and growing, so I guess even these words will change as I continue my life’s path. However, here’s ...

American Bald Eagles usually mate for life. Living between 20-30 years in the wild, the main mascots of the United States since 1782 also share traditional parenting roles. Thanks to modern tech, researchers have gathered more knowledge about this North American icon’s parenting skills, much of which comes from a platoon of Live Eagle Cams made available by conservationist groups. (Slight segue: These Eagle Cams are a great idea for a ...

I separated from my ex-wife a few years ago. I think that it was five years ago. It could have been six. On reflection, the first six months seemed like six years. During the frenzied rush of committing to a rental and buying a car and purchasing beds for my daughters, plenty of well-meaning people offered the saying that “things will get better… they always do!” Yes, things do get better, ...

On Saturday I dropped my daughter off to do a school assignment with her friends. On the way home there was a FREE car wash. That’s always music to my ears. So why on earth would people give up a beautiful Saturday morning to wash cars for other people… FOR FREE? These weren’t just ordinary people — these were people whom many say are self-centred, insensitive and really don’t care about ...

A Pew study released mid-January suggests a majority of mums and dads in the United States are prioritising money over marriage. 90% of those quizzed about ‘aspirations’ for their children ‘prioritized financial independence and career satisfaction’ as numero uno. Material Success The Research Centre’s findings claimed that for a majority of parents, ‘it’s extremely or very important their children be financially independent when they are adults.’ Almost as ‘equally important’ for ...

By Bettina Arndt — The Sydney Morning Herald, April 28, 2014 A belief that children under three should not stay overnight with their separated or divorced father has underpinned our family law system for years. Has it all been a mistake? Bettina Arndt reports. Editor’s Note: Little has changed in the last ten years. Now, more than ever, changes are needed in Australia’s family law system. Across Australia, fathers are being ...

One of my happiest childhood memories is snuggling in bed with mum or dad each night as they read to me. It was these moments that instilled in me a lifelong love of reading. It’s still one of my absolute favourite things to do, even though it’s a rare treat for me these days. What I didn’t realise back then was that this simple habit gave me so much more than ...

Did you know that in the first 18 years of your child’s life, 7.1 years will be spent in school? Over one-third of the days you have with your child until they go to university or leave school to go to work will be spent going to school. Your child’s education is important and every year counts.  For my five children, that often meant different schools for different needs, including private ...

Toileting is pitiful in a onesie! And so, they are not the usual garb of this practical single dad, but for a social experiment that I crafted to play out. I cannot conceive that a bedtime costume as impractical as a onesie would ever be engineered for anything more than a practical joke. I imagine the pyjama design team in the boardroom some Friday (after a way-too-long lunch) being more than ...

OK, confession time… I’m not sure where, or how it started, but surprisingly, it was at a very young age. I’ve always loved kids. I’ve looked after kids and worked with kids, in both professional and voluntary capacities since I was about eleven. Spoilt Those who thought the whole world should revolve around them though, in all honesty, I wasn’t always as enthusiastic about looking after them. You know the ones; ...

Research reveals the amazing science behind creating a strong, lasting bond between parent and child, helping the child develop into a secure, well-rounded and independent person. “I think it should be cool to be a good partner, a good spouse, a good father… If I’m one of the people who helps make that cooler, I think that’s great,” are the prescient words of mega-selling recording artist, John Legend. John is right, ...

Visiting the dentist has all the appeal of cleaning my daughters’ long, clagged hair out of the shower drain. I visit annually because it is the right thing to do. Each visit follows a predictable pattern. I arrive early at the clinic. I eagerly anticipate being able to read a National Geographic (I have allergies to sitting still doing nothing and like learning things) and ultimately am disappointed by the tattered ...

Want to know the easiest way to give your kids a confidence boost? It’s the most sure-fire simple way to increase your child’s positivity and resilience. Here it is… Enjoy them. Spend time with them. Let go of your agenda and be with them and listen to them. That’s it. Presence Taking the time to savour the moments we have with them — to really enjoy our kids — is something ...

A new children’s book examines the mystery of suffering and pain. Exquisitely illustrated, it is an excellent tool for parents to discuss this big question with their children, mentally preparing them for the travails of life. “Life is hard, but we make it harder,” said Ryan Holiday. True words. If we refuse to accept that truth, we make it harder for ourselves and our children. Especially if we don’t tell them ...