Larry Stockstill is a world-recognised multi-talented leadership coach, with over twelve books to his credit. He has six children, five sons and a daughter, and fifteen grandchildren, and he lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.
Larry Stockstill is passionate about encouraging fathers and families, and he writes on integrity, purity, example, pace, purpose, marriage, children, and legacy. He believes in modelling his message and helping leaders develop “from integrity to legacy.”
Parenting is more than proximity. It is the power to encourage, comfort, and urge your child to win.
HERE ARE THE 5 MAIN THINGS TO EQUIP YOU FOR THIS LIFELONG PROJECT:
1. Fathering is about BANDWIDTH.
You can only connect your heart to so many people.
The more people you connect with, the less of you your children have to connect to. Just a fact.
Put your children first.
Of course, everyone else is important! Is your buddy’s get-together more important than your child’s Scout trip where every other father will be present?
I promise you that in ten years’ time, you won’t remember the get-together, but your child will remember the weekend alone. Bandwidth.
2. Fathering is about CHARACTER.
Character is only exposed by time.
You must walk alongside someone for quite a while to observe their strengths and weaknesses. Hours at work or play alongside them will show you their character.
INSECURITY is a child’s greatest weakness. They lie because of insecurity. They fear because of insecurity. They are selfish because of insecurity.
When they feel affirmed, they relax. They expose their fears, admit their failures, and stop competing for attention. Character.
3. Fathering is about LISTENING.
When you listen, you are showing value.
When a child senses that they are more important than anything else in the world to you, they open up to receive your counsel and direction.
Shut down your world and walk into theirs. Their hurts, their accomplishments, their imagination, their sports, their interests must become YOURS. Listening.
4. Fathering is about DIRECTION.
SECURITY comes from affirmation AND authority.
The moment you see wrong heart attitudes (pride, ambition, complaining, criticism, etc.), you must let your child sense displeasure.
They must instantly feel “boundaries”, and boundaries bring security. They feel very insecure when they are running the ball and can’t find the sideline. Tell them what is acceptable and what isn’t. Direction.
5. Fathering is about EXAMPLE.
Living by principles is where truth is transferred.
What we observe impacts us far more than what we are taught. Let a child travel with you, recreate with you, counsel with you, and be with you in “real life moments” (like when you smash your thumb with a hammer!).
When your example doesn’t line up to your principles, apologise to them. Tell them where you missed it. No one is perfect, but your child IS going to copy you. Example.
We have a huge fathering problem in our nation.
Children feel disconnected… no one at home. They feel insecure… no one giving them boundaries. They feel lonely… no one listening. They feel lost… no one giving them direction.
This is the moment. Your legacy is at stake. Your children are your legacy.
Whether you are a single parent or two-parent family, practise these principles of fathering.
Your investment will save the next generation from a certain despair… and our nation from total chaos.
Reading these words is deeply refreshing — like drinking cold water on a hot day.
More than that, Larry is intensely practical. His wisdom sure has a sting in it. The words, “The more people you connect with, the less of you your children have to connect to” sure do challenge me deeply.
Looks like I have some lovework I must attend to this week.
Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison Marsh since 1975; they have five children and nine grandchildren, and he and his wife live in Wollongong in NSW, Australia. He is a family and faith advocate, social reformer, musician, TV producer, writer and public speaker.
Warwick is a leader in the Men’s and Family Movement, and he is well-known in Australia for his advocacy for children, marriage, manhood, family, fatherhood and faith. Warwick is passionate to encourage men to be great fathers and to know the greatest Father of all. The Father in Whom “there is no shadow of turning.”
The Fatherhood Foundation Incorporated trading as Dads4Kids is a Harm Prevention Charity listed under Subdivision 30_EA of the Australian Income Tax Assessment Act 1997 with Tax Deductible Status (DGR) for donations
Dads4Kids – Building Men. Growing Fathers. Changing Generations.