The DIDs story, Part 1. My name is Tony Miller, and I am the founder and national coordinator of a group called Dads in Distress, a dedicated support group of men whose immediate concern is to stem the present trend of male suicide due to the trauma of divorce or separation. Current statistics indicate that 5.3 males per day or 37 males per week (ABS Information Paper, Suicides 2001) will take ...

Anzac Day — what do I think about that? Well, firstly I’m grateful, grateful to soldiers who laid down their lives for me so that today I live in peace because of their selflessness, their courage, their daring. So I am grateful, and I spend the weekend carrying thoughts of those men in my heart. I wonder how many were fathers; I wonder how many families had to survive without a ...

I have always felt that our society is at a tipping point when it comes to the restoration of fatherhood in our society. Part of that is my innate tendency to optimism. For me the glass is always half full. I can remember sharing as the conference organiser in the Main Committee Room of Parliament House at the very first National Strategic Conference on Fatherhood in 2003, saying very much in ...

The Dad Dilemma is the title of an article in The Age about the challenges of child birth. Thea O’Connor, the writer, says, “Most Australian men are present and active at the birth of their children. But not everyone believes this is a good thing.” Having been present for the births of my five children, I quickly asked my wife for her opinion. She matter-of-factly stated, “You helped make the baby, ...

I can remember getting off the boat at Circular Quay, Sydney. I was 8 years old and my brother was 6 years old. My mother had ‘taken’ us away to Scotland because of marital disharmony, and we had lived with our grandmother for two years in Edinburgh. This was the second time. When I was young I thought all children lived with their grandmother and apart from their father. Normality is ...

Just took my little boy back after our access weekend. Feeling low! I guess it’s just that same feeling every dad goes through when he drops his kids off after spending such little time with them. Some don’t even get that. So I guess I am blessed. ‘An every-second- weekend-dad.’ I hate it and so does he. It just goes too quick. There’s just this emptiness that pervades your inside. It ...

Cup in hand, deep in thought, It’s like this every day. And it twists my heart I know But there is no other way. I dream of you, there’s nothing else, No picture I can see. To see your smiles and how you’ve grown Or how much of you is me. To hold you close, to hear you laugh, To put you to bed at night. To tell you things a ...

Well here it is, Saturday morning, and Warwick rang me for my article and I had nothing prepared. I was wandering around a shopping centre not particularly looking for anything, just in a bit of a daze. You see, sometimes things just get the better of me, and sometimes I just switch off. An interview I had recorded with Southern Cross Ten State Focus was just aired today, which was just ...

I have just returned from Sydney, where we have opened several DIDs groups over the past couple of weeks. It never ceases to amaze me, the guys I meet along the way. Absolutely awesome dads who, although they struggle on a daily basis to see their kids and hold down a job, they volunteer some personal time to help other guys who may be struggling as well. It’s awesome to see, ...

Wow, what a few weeks. Parkinson’s Taskforce Release of suggested reforms, Four Corners, Fatherhood Forum 05, The Lonefathers Conference, the Attorney General’s release of suggested reforms. Receiving a beautiful plaque from the Fatherhood Forum in Parliament House for our DIDs work.  My son telling me he is proud of me, my daughter sending me an email of how wonderful she thinks I am, doing the work I do. That she loves ...

In the coming weeks and months, we as mothers, fathers, children, grandparents and families await the Government’s answers to the proposed reforms within Family Law and within the Child Support Scheme. We have been waiting patiently, even though we have been experiencing the very same thing this grandmother (below) so graciously describes. We as responsible fathers have been supporting our children, and yet are denied the right to have a relationship ...

I was travelling through Queensland a few weeks ago opening new Dads in Distress groups, and was convening a meeting that was being held in the back of a new church that had been established in an industrial estate. It was a new meeting and so we didn’t know what to expect, how many would turn up or what would happen. As I sat there at the back of this huge ...

Tonight is the start of the school holidays; I am allowed to pick up my son.  I feel extremely emotional about this, because I know only too well what it feels like when these times come for men who are deprived of the opportunity to spend time with their little ones. It took a court order to get to this point. What a shame, what a shame on this society, that ...

I was 27 years old when, on my first day of teaching, I was presented with a class full of ten-year-old children. I remember thinking that I hadn’t seen or spoken to a ten-year-old since I was ten. I felt equally inadequate a few years later when I was handed my firstborn child. My knowledge of what was required of me was limited to an understanding that this creature was a ...

The observation that separated couples rarely get along with each other would come as no revelation to anyone. It is generally relationship problems that lead to the separation in the first place. Yet these relationship difficulties are often used by the Family Court as the basis for refusing shared parenting and for restricting a father’s contact with his children. I know of one case where a judge, who found no fault ...

It is a well-known adage that evil triumphs when good men do nothing. The events of history testify to the truth of this saying. Yet, there are plenty of examples in history of good men accepting the authority of a tyrannical government. The apostle Paul was a Jew living under the dominance of a conquering nation, the Romans. Despite this, he taught that it was important to be obedient and submissive ...