Recently, we came across this quote from Simone Weil, a 20th-century French philosopher, Christian mystic and political activist. “God and humanity are like two lovers who have missed their rendezvous. Each is there before the time, but each at a different place, and they wait, and wait, and wait. He stands motionless, nailed to the spot for the whole of time. She is distraught and impatient. But alas for her if ...

For the uninitiated, Swiftie Dads are a phenomenon. They’re fathers whose daughters are massive Taylor Swift fans. According to GQ, these dads don’t just chaperone their kids to concerts; they’re dad-sized “groupies” who don the merchandise, sing the songs, and play along. Gone are ‘bored dads at a One Direction concert.’ These dads are ‘ecstatic about Taylor Swift concerts too’, added GQ. Although I am completely sceptical about the darker whole ...

This morning, a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was not only good for physical health, but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were walking, not just physically from one place to another but also spiritually: walking away from the old way towards a new ...

Communication is fundamental to our relationships and the flourishing of families. If we want to do it well, there is a science, art and spirit to communication. We all like to think of ourselves as good communicators. Unfortunately, what that usually means is: I have lots to say and I’m not afraid to say it! That’s because a lot of people equate being talkative with good communication. In truth, effective communication ...

Different personalities. Different upbringing. Different education. Different sexes. Sometimes different ethnic or religious backgrounds. With so many differences between us, is it any wonder that making decisions as a couple is complicated and sometimes conflictual? We unpack the SmartLoving framework for managing differences and making couple decisions. Byron and Francine Pirola have been married for 34 years, and between them, they have over three decades of experience in marriage and family ...

When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve experienced ups and downs in our relationship. It leads us to ponder: what builds trust between ...

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love requires a conscious decision and focused investment. Loving the Smart way is easy when you know how. Our romance was a whirlwind of delight and passion. Over an intense two years, we courted with a dedicated focus: from the very beginning, it was clear that we were discerning marriage. But even before we got to the altar, the sparkle of those initial ‘in ...

I wasn’t expecting that! We’ve explored how our formation in our family of origin continues to play out throughout our marriages. There are typically three ways in which our formation can pose challenges for us and today we explore the first of these: incompatible expectations. Growing up, Francine’s father was a retail pharmacist, with her mother working full-time raising the family and volunteering in the school and parish community. It was ...

It’s true! And now there’s a study that proves it. Finally, I have the ammunition I need to convince hubby that our next date night movie should be a rom-com, rather than an action flick. Researchers who conducted a study involving 174 couples found that those who discussed five movies about relationships over a month cut the three-year divorce rate for newlyweds in half. Superior Choice Okay, so the research is ...

At some point, every couple will have the Forever Conversation — the discussion that explores their long-term commitment. It’s no secret to anyone that the incidence of cohabitation has increased. In fact, a couple who hasn’t cohabited is increasingly rare, even in the Catholic formation circles where we work. For couples in these semi-permanent living arrangements, the natural progression of a romantic relationship towards marriage is slowed. Without the inconvenience of ...

When it comes to marriage, relationships and arguments, there are a lot of myths out there. Here are five of the most common. Myth 1: Good Couples Don’t Argue The presence or absence of arguments is not a good indicator of the health of a marriage. Some couples who don’t argue are living detached, parallel lives. They’ve essentially checked out of the marriage and have given up caring. These couples are ...

My kids and I were watching a Disney movie recently. In the movie, a dad who was coaching his child’s sports team yelled at his son. After the coaching session, the boy asked his Dad, “Why did you yell at me, but you didn’t yell at all the other kids?” His Dad yelled back in exasperation,  “I don’t care about the other kids.” I was struck by the irony of this ...

Here’s a question for you: How would you rate yourself as a driver — below average, average, or above average? How about your IQ (intelligence)? And finally, how about as a tennis player? Research by psychologists tells us that most people overestimate their driving ability and intelligence compared to others, while they will be much more accurate about their tennis ability. One reason why is that we can easily obtain objective ...

Visiting the dentist has all the appeal of cleaning my daughters’ long, clagged hair out of the shower drain. I visit annually because it is the right thing to do. Each visit follows a predictable pattern. I arrive early at the clinic. I eagerly anticipate being able to read a National Geographic (I have allergies to sitting still doing nothing and like learning things) and ultimately am disappointed by the tattered ...

The words and gestures you use have the power to either lift people up or bring them down. Choose wisely, especially in your daily interactions with your family. Yesterday I went to get my watch battery replaced at the local shopping centre’s Mr Repairman Service and received a surprise. The man who served me did a great job. He had 18 years’ experience. You could tell he really knew his job. ...

‘Shhhh… not in front of the kids!’ We’ve all been there: In the car with a captive audience… or at the dinner table. An argument erupts and the question is: do you save it for later? Or just let it all out in front of the kids? Studies conducted at the University of Rochester, NY, found that it’s okay for your kids to see you argue, as long you work it ...

It is 6 degrees in Hobart, Tasmania and about 8 degrees off being properly cold. There is no snow. The wind is on leave. It is dark though. The rich indigo of the night and the stillness makes it a near-perfect evening to gaze on Articulated Intersect, the incredible light show that makes it the most public of the various installations around Hobart, that make up the winter festival. There are ...

As a parent, you have to be able to lead family discussions with a listening ear, respecting each family member’s point of view. From the diversity of opinions, in love you can forge a united course of action. Sincere agreement is vital for harmony and effectiveness. Many years ago, Dads4Kids convened Australia’s first-ever Fathering Forum in Federal Parliament in Canberra. Almost 30 different groups were represented. The one thing each group ...

I know that I gravitate to the happy, good things that each day of adventure delivers. Still, there are those occasional times when I struggle as great joy butts squarely up against sadness. I can have tears leak out while wearing a delighted smile. The simultaneous happy-sad thing doesn’t happen too often. Typically, it comes of wondering where my children are right now, wanting a moment to walk a bit with ...

Mistakes dads often make when problem-solving tend to fall into three categories: Cavalier disinterest; Rage quitting; or Jumping the gun. Problem-solving is a chance to weld together a relationship built on trust, love, and reliability. Anything less than a total commitment to finding a resolution is a wasted opportunity. It’s the Homer Simpson of all stuff-ups. The That 70’s Show “dumb ass” answer from Red Forman (Kurtwood Smith) to everything.   ...