Language is a wonderful thing. Through the power of language, one person can translate the most complex and nebulous of ideas into terms that another can understand. Thus, not only the understanding but also the realisation of a new or different concept can be transposed from one mind to another. It’s really a miraculous process. Powerful and adaptable tool that it is, language is not the basis of communication, just a ...

“For an increasing number of long-term marriages, it’s no longer a case of ‘until death do us part,’ it’s a matter of until the children depart from the family nest,” writes Rachel Browne in a Sydney Morning Herald article, “Parents wait until children go, then do the same thing.” Suddenly finding your busy life full of activities attached to children, and a home in a constant state of noise, and endless ...

Have you ever experienced the situation when someone has apologised but, while the words were said it lacked something, making it difficult for you to accept it? Sadly, most of us are not as good at apologising as we need to be. We think that it’s obvious, should just be instinctual, or that our love should somehow make it magically work. Well, it isn’t obvious, and it is not instinctual. We ...

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’ conversation. Such exchanges are important for coordinating our lives and avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings, but they don’t ...

Doing business requires finesse in communicating with your clients. Similar skills and strategies can be applied to your relationship with your spouse. Byron’s life-long career has been as an advisor to large companies on their strategic directions. As an outsider to the company trying to help its leaders make difficult decisions on their business strategy, he deals with difficult issues complicated by competing personal interests. Invariably, the advice involves change and ...

Making the time and effort to establish regular healthy eating patterns for your family will go a long way in creating quality bonding time and a lifetime of nourishing habits for your children. Food is fundamental in forging a healthy family. There’s something to be said about making the effort to gather the family around a hot meal as regularly as possible. I also find there’s a lot of clout in ...

Start a “change reaction” in your relationship by changing yourself first. It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship — it eats away at our intimacy by destroying our willingness to be vulnerable and open with each other. Insanity has been described as doing the same thing over and over while ...

Marriage is the coming together of two individuals, with natural differences. Loving honesty in communication helps us to grow together as one. What seems hard in marriage is often doing us good. A few weeks ago, we were invited to attend an event featuring Jordan Peterson. Curious to see this Canadian psychologist and academic, who was touring Australia with sell-out audiences, we took up the offer. One of the questions put ...

Men and women have different ways of communicating. Once you understand how to speak your beloved’s language, life will be a lot smoother! My wife asked me, “Does my hair look better?” The context of the conversation was that the COVID lockdowns had prevented her from going to the hairdresser to get her regular haircut. This is a grief to a woman, let alone the feeling of not looking her best. ...

Everyone experiences love differently. Biology, upbringing, personality and experiences all influence the way an individual likes and needs to be loved. Being different in this way isn’t a problem. In fact, it’s one of the things that make relationships a rich and wonderful experience. Different Wavelenghts What is a potential problem is that both you and your spouse (or fiance, date, friends etc) will instinctively give love in the way that ...

Taking a pause and practising restraint in the midst of conflict allows you to identify how old wounds are being triggered by the current situation, and re-focus in order to resolve the conflict peacefully, repairing the relationship and deepening your love. It happens all the time — one of us does or says something and it triggers a harsh reaction. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to ...

Field trips bring lasting benefits for fathers and their children, providing life lessons and character-building opportunities. If like me, you were a kid in the 1980s, chances are you remember watching The Waltons. The two-story white house, Mary-Ellen, John-Boy, the sawmill, Ike and the general store; the yellow rumble-seat car, the ‘recipe,’ the Baldwin ladies, and John Walton Snr calling out “Good night, everybody” at the close of every episode. There ...

An examination of various parenting styles and reflection on our own modes of parenting, can be very beneficial in honing our parenting skills for the sake of our children as they grow and mature under our guidance and discipline. Two of the best parenting styles are ‘democratic’ and ‘authoritative’. The bare-bones definition of the democratic parenting style is, ‘Allowing a fairness and respect to develop between child and parent. It involves ...

Quality time together is ideal to keep the spark alive in a marriage, but it needs to be bolstered by “quantity-time”, making the effort to do routine things together, being comfortable in each other’s company and sharing everyday moments. With Valentine’s Day approaching, couples everywhere are looking for ways to mark the day with romance. From lovestruck dating couples to couples stressed out with kids, every one of us struggles to ...

Prioritising your spouse, especially in the little daily routines, teaches your children how to respect and honour their mother. My wife and I were fortunate enough to be volunteers for the Guide Dogs for the Blind organisation in our local state after all our kids had grown up and left school. Over a period of seven years, we had the pleasure (and to be honest at times the displeasure) of raising ...

The family dog has taught us a variety of life lessons, including how to communicate better as humans. Owning a pet has been a journey that has taken the better part of a decade. A year into owning a dog — or rather being the caretaker of one — I’m sold on the adage that dogs are “man’s best friend.” Fish were tried, but died. Cats? We’ve been there and done ...

Even if your marriage is going through difficulties, taking these small steps can work wonders in reigniting your love and smoothing out communication. A lot of people feel trapped in a dissatisfying or troubled marriage. They feel powerless to ‘fix’ it because their spouse refuses to join them in counselling or a marriage enrichment course. Yet in truth, there are lots of things a husband or wife can do on their ...

This is a must-do for every dad. If this isn’t at the top of your list, once you have done it, it soon will be. Keep reading to find out. If you want to connect with your kids, I can think of no better way than to … write them a letter. I did this last weekend when I was at a dads’ training conference, and my kids received their letters ...

We’ve all been in that situation. A friend or relative confides in us that they are having some marriage trouble. We want to help but knowing what to do that is genuinely helpful is tricky. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. Use your best listening skills: give your full attention, validate the thoughts, emotions and needs expressed: “What I hear you saying is…” While it’s important for your ...

Extinguishing conflict requires good communication. Here are some basic pointers on how to mediate a family quarrel and restore peace to your home. Most of you reading this would know that conflict resolution is a staple in just about every workplace. I don’t think I would be met with a whole lot of disagreement by asserting that the same emphasis should also be applied in the home. Two people step up ...