For most of our married life, death has been something that happened to other families. We’d attend the occasional funeral, then get back to the busy business of family life. Death was real, but it was rarely front of mind.

This year has been different. Among our four aging parents, there have been several hospital stays leaving us wondering “if this was their time”. Our own hospital visits – some more serious than others – have left us shaken and grateful in equal measure.

And in July, our son-in-law tragically died just three months after his wedding day. We stood beside our daughter as she farewelled the man she had promised to love until death, never imagining it would come so soon.

So, it’s fair to say we’re thinking about death a lot more than usual. That’s why this November season of remembrance feels so timely.

What we believe about eternity shapes how we live now 

November isn’t only for thinking about death; it’s also for thinking about what comes after it. Because what we believe about the afterlife powerfully influences how we live in this life.

Most of us absorb the priorities of the culture around us. Modern life is focused on quality of life or on extending life: better diets, the latest treatments, bucket lists to tick off before time runs out.

These aren’t bad things. But when this life is all there is, death becomes the ultimate defeat, to be postponed at all costs.

For Christians, death is not the end. It’s a transition – a doorway – rather than an abyss.

We believe in a God of infinite love and mercy, who sees every hidden sacrifice and every unacknowledged wrong. We believe we are made for eternity in the presence of Almighty God.

We look forward to the resurrection of the dead and a new creation where God “will wipe every tear from their eyes” (Revelation 21:4).

These aren’t abstract doctrines. In a year like ours, they’ve been an anchor. They help us keep our difficulties and losses in perspective.

Our grief is real, but as St Paul reminds us, we do not grieve as those who have no hope (see 1 Thessalonians 4:13). And if eternity is our true destination, it ought to shape our choices and lifestyle right now.

Three simple ways to live with an eternal perspective 

1. Don’t leave wounds unhealed. None of us knows how much time we have with the people we love. If we’ve wronged our spouse or a family member, waiting for the perfect moment is reckless. Sometimes a simple “I was wrong, I’m sorry” can lift a weight carried for years. Nobody wants their last words with a loved one to be angry ones.
2. Invest in memories that will comfort. When someone we love dies, it’s the moments of intimacy we treasure most: a shared joke, a long chat over a cuppa, a hand held in comfort. Being mindfully present to one in front of us, intentionally attuned without distractions – these moments become a precious inheritance when one of us is gone.
3. Remember and honour those who have died. November is the prompt we need to remember deceased loved ones as a couple and as a family. It can be words or actions – like visiting the gravesite or a place of special significance, reminiscing over photos or a treasured keepsake, sharing stories and memories.

Memento Mori… Remembering our death doesn’t diminish life; it sharpens it. It reminds us that how we love is more important than our qualifications and accomplishments.

This November, may we live – and love – with eternity in view.

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Image: Laura Oliveira on Pexels.