I finally discovered my wife’s biggest turn-on.

We were in the kitchen. She was staring right at it… that little green light on the dishwasher.

Now, to explain, I must confess I’d never been a fan of Gary Chapman’s book The 5 Love Languages before this incident.

The book’s premise, as you may know, is that every person is wired by God to experience love primarily in one of five ways: affirming words, acts of service, tangible gifts, quality time, or physical touch.

Initially, the whole concept felt contrived — some therapeutic categories more than biblical wisdom. I wasn’t buying it.

Act of Service

That is, until that moment in the kitchen, a green twinkle in my wife’s eyes and the soothing “swoosh” of the rinse cycle.

Which I’d never recognised as all that delightful. Then again, I haven’t really made a habit of doing the dishes very often.

But to the clean kitchen surprise and to the heart behind it, her reaction was magical. Foreplay, her way. A green light to love.

It was exactly what The 5 Love Languages tried to tell me. Sometimes love is more verb than vibe.

Thank you, Gary Chapman. And you’re welcome, marriage.

Click to hear Gary Chapman unpack all five love languages.

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Republished with thanks to FamilyLife. Image courtesy of cottonbro studio.