We all know the phrase “happily ever after,” but real marriage often looks very different from the fairy tale. What if our expectations of marriage are shaping our experience more than we realise?

What to do with the Honey-Do List standoff, where a spouse (e.g. wife) has a list of expected tasks for her husband to complete? Often, the Honey-Do List turns a home into a battle ground of competing needs — something neither spouse wants.

Through consistent love and the support of other wise men, single dads can walk in confidence and leave an impact that lasts generations. Here are five essential principles—three “do’s” and two “don’ts”—that can help single fathers navigate this important calling.

Marriage is a sacrament, a path to holiness where we’re called to mirror Christ’s selfless love. Yet expectations turn it into a transaction: “I’ll love you if you meet my standards.” Hope, on the other hand, is like holding our desires with open hands. It’s rooted in trust, not control.

Our family of origin makes leaving and cleaving complicated! When we marry, we each bring an inherited mental picture of what a spouse ‘should’ be. That makes things interesting...

What do you believe about your children? Are you speaking and acting in a way that will build and train the children that you really want?

When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve experienced ups and downs in our relationship. It leads us to ponder: what builds trust between ...

I wasn’t expecting that! We’ve explored how our formation in our family of origin continues to play out throughout our marriages. There are typically three ways in which our formation can pose challenges for us and today we explore the first of these: incompatible expectations. Growing up, Francine’s father was a retail pharmacist, with her mother working full-time raising the family and volunteering in the school and parish community. It was ...

The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them to us; they were locked in a perpetual low-grade argument that never seemed to end. They were so ‘wired’, almost every ...

We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly a lot of stress going around with pandemic-induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience — the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite a bit of information on personal resilience, and it’s a buzzword in education these days, but ...

Seize the moment and spend time with the people you love and doing the things which you actually want to do. We are not guaranteed tomorrow — let us make the best use of today. We need to live now, not in the past, or in the future. Jonathan Larson was wise to say, “Forget regret, or life is yours to miss.” Steve Maraboli put it this way, “At the end ...

Married life, like your career, take effort and investment. For resilience in your marital relationship, don’t expect your spouse to fulfil your every want; instead, learn to love them and grow with them through the ups and downs of life. A healthy and realistic perspective is the basis for a solid marriage. Let’s face it — marriage can be a tough gig these days. Living in a culture that almost expects ...

There are always ample opportunities to forgive others, especially in a marriage. But sometimes we don’t know how. Consider three tips to help you forgive more easily in the context of a covenant relationship. We remember those long nights in the first year of our marriage. In the infancy of his career, Byron was often late home from work as he juggled the demands on his time. Initially, Francine was so grateful when ...

The key to building trust in relationships is for both people to make their expectations clear and then commit to meeting those expectations. When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many ...

I honestly believe that a lot of the struggles with our children have to do with the pressure we put on ourselves. We have set the bar so high that we hate ourselves if we don’t get it ALL done today.

The life of a mum is difficult, but, despite the chaos and hardship, the unglamorous mum is beautiful through it all. Although at times our kids drive us crazy, it is the little, precious moments that make it totally worth it in the end! The Unglamorous Mum Last Friday afternoon, I caught sight of myself in a mirror at Rockmans as I was heading to the change room to try on ...

Can you be overly protective of your wife and kids? How do you walk the balance between care and responsibility? That is the topic of Real Talk 4 Real Men episode #27. Are you confident that you are preparing your young adults well for handling the responsibilities that come with adulthood? Have you prepared your wife to be able to live well without you, should you suddenly be taken off this ...

We all get a bit of shock pretty early on in married life. For some, it is day 1: “This isn’t what I expected!” At some point, you will probably find yourself asking yourself the question: Is marriage worth it? Are you married?  How has it been going for you lately?  You wouldn’t be the first person to stop and ask yourself that question. Most of us men enter into marriage ...