Many dads come to me in tears after losing their wives, kids – everything. I call it the empty time. It's not a pretty story. Nor was it meant to be.

This is a story about my bookshelf. Not usually that important, but all my special mementos, significant memories and special people are displayed on it.

Editor’s Note: Last weekend, Tony Miller attended the Dads4Kids Men’s Leadership Summit, where he was awarded a Lifetime Achievement Award in recognition of his lifetime service and sacrifice for the men, families, and children of Australia. See the photo above. He did not know it was coming. It was our secret. He was happily surprised. Tony’s 27-year-old son Cassidy Miller had encouraged him to come. We are so glad he did. ...

I know this bloke: he is an old fella, but a single dad. He has been through the mill before; the ‘family court mill’, I mean. Anyway, he now has a 9-year-old little girl who is living with him. She is a beautiful, vibrant, loving, caring little girl. He has no court orders, hasn’t been to the courts, hasn’t applied, just has an agreement with his wife, and the child is ...

Dear God, help me to write when I am looking at an empty page. Dear God, help me to be a better person, a better father, a better friend, a better husband. Dear God, help me to become whom You want me to be. Dear God, help me to like Spongebob Squarepants reruns.   Dear God, help me not to get cranky when my daughter leaves a mess wherever she goes. ...

It’s Friday night and I have just come home from the fish-and-chip shop up the road. I went up earlier with my 9-year-old daughter Angel. While we were waiting for our order — chips and gravy — she was telling me with much conviction that if you spit chewing gum onto the footpath, some people will come along and pick it up, and because it has your tooth-prints in the gum, ...

Dads in Distress hold weekly meetings to enable fathers who are affected by relationship and custody issues to come together in an atmosphere geared toward practical support, progress and healing. We don’t denigrate woman at our meetings, in fact we encourage men to look in the mirror to understand what part of the blame they own, if any. We simply guide men to become the cause of their future and not ...

The DIDs story, Part 1. My name is Tony Miller, and I am the founder and national coordinator of a group called Dads in Distress, a dedicated support group of men whose immediate concern is to stem the present trend of male suicide due to the trauma of divorce or separation. Current statistics indicate that 5.3 males per day or 37 males per week (ABS Information Paper, Suicides 2001) will take ...

As Christmas is once again upon us, I would like to share a story that I guess explains what Dads in Distress is all about. It happened a few years ago in the very early days of forming DIDS, and certainly inspired me to continue the work. I was sitting in a  DIDS meeting sharing my story. It was early days into separation, then divorce. It was coming up to Christmas, ...

A lot has happened over the past year. I am about to celebrate 50 years on this planet. We had a party last Saturday and it was awesome to be surrounded by my friends and family, my five beautiful children and my new grandson. Life does seem to turn around. There were many times I thought I would never make it to 50, let alone have all my children gathered around ...

I just got off the phone from another dad: devastated, crying, sobbing, absolutely gutted. “How can the mother of my children be so hurtful? I don’t understand it”, he said between the tears. “I just want to see my kids. How hard is that?” Yesterday I was counselling one of our guys not to react. He was receiving abusive SMSes on his mobile that were particularly distressing to him. Not onem ...

Could you please, please get this story out there! We desperately need to stop this from happening again. This is the second time in the same court. Now two kids don’t have a dad; a mum, dad and family are left grieving. Just weeks ago, a 16-year-old young girl, devastated by her parents’ divorce, suicided in her old family home. The author is our DIDS solicitor. Contact details are below. This ...

Just took my little boy back after our access weekend. Feeling low! I guess it’s just that same feeling every dad goes through when he drops his kids off after spending such little time with them. Some don’t even get that. So I guess I am blessed. ‘An every-second- weekend-dad.’ I hate it and so does he. It just goes too quick. There’s just this emptiness that pervades your inside. It ...

Thank GOD we have DIDS in this country. 5 males a day, every day, suicide in this country. In Canada, it’s 9 a day. We are establishing links to start DIDS over there. ~~~ Andrew T. Renouf committed suicide on or about October 17, 1995, because he had 100% of his wages taken by the Family Responsibility Office, an agency of the Government of Ontario, Canada. He asked for assistance for ...

I was driving down the highway to work the other day, after just having a week’s holiday with my kids. I was grateful, especially when I hear from so many who don’t have the opportunity of being with their children. I knew the workload would be enormous. I mean a week away from the computer alone means at least 400-500 emails will need to be answered — that’s after I’ve sifted ...

I have just returned from Sydney, where we have opened several DIDs groups over the past couple of weeks. It never ceases to amaze me, the guys I meet along the way. Absolutely awesome dads who, although they struggle on a daily basis to see their kids and hold down a job, they volunteer some personal time to help other guys who may be struggling as well. It’s awesome to see, ...

I was speaking at a DIDS meeting in rural New South Wales last night and I was commending the group for becoming real lifesavers in reaching out to each other in support. I told them that this country was once renowned for its mateship, and sadly I believe we have lost that somehow. We have lost the knowledge of what being a mate is all about. It is my belief that ...

Below are just a few of the emails that I have been swamped with since sending out the notice of public hearings for Wednesday and Thursday, today. Many are from women. ALL are of disgust. Where is the representation from men’s groups, you ask? Easy — they obviously didn’t want you there. DIDS received this notice today, and it was forwarded from a friend, not from the Attorney-General’s Department. The hearings ...

Firstly, I would like to thank all of you who contact me; it’s your support and kindness that keeps me going. I was out on the town one night this past week. One of our volunteers is a muso, and he and his band were playing a gig in a local hotel. It was a great night, mainly because of the fact that a whole lot of our other volunteers turned ...

Wow, what a few weeks. Parkinson’s Taskforce Release of suggested reforms, Four Corners, Fatherhood Forum 05, The Lonefathers Conference, the Attorney General’s release of suggested reforms. Receiving a beautiful plaque from the Fatherhood Forum in Parliament House for our DIDs work.  My son telling me he is proud of me, my daughter sending me an email of how wonderful she thinks I am, doing the work I do. That she loves ...