If you are like me, you care about Australia and you would like to do something to make things better, not only for your children but for the community as a whole.

The reality is that in many ways, we are more connected than we have ever been through social media, but less connected at a human level — as Jay Bayer points out so well in his article, “Social Media, Pretend Friends and the Lie of False Intimacy“.

Social researcher Robert Putnam, author of Bowling Alone, discovered the following social trends based on nearly 500,000 interviews. In a 25-year period, from when he first published his findings, these social trends occurred: There was a 58% drop in those attending club meetings, a 43% drop in family dinners and a 35% drop in having friends over.

Interestingly, a scientific review of 148 previous studies involving more than 300,000 people found that those with adequate social relationships were 50% more likely to be alive after an average follow-up period of nearly eight years, compared to more socially isolated people.

Being socially disconnected — a loose term usually taken to mean having few good friends or strong family relationships — was said to be equivalent to smoking 15 cigarettes per day and heavy drinking, of six units of alcohol a day, the scientists involved said. It was also worse for someone’s health than such better-recognised health risks as avoiding exercise, and twice as bad for one’s health as being obese. In other words, reaching out and building friendships will help you live longer.

Some time ago, a friend of mine challenged me with these very interesting statistics about the importance of reaching out to your neighbours and building family and community in your own neighbourhood. He gave me three good reasons why hosting a Christmas Street Party for your neighbours is a really good idea.

Let me share with you the information he gave:

  • Street Parties Reduce Crime: Curtin University has done the research, and the results are that 1 in 3 people don’t trust their neighbours. Robert Putnam notes that ‘the more people know each other’s first names, the lower the crime rate in the neighbourhood.’
  • 73% of Your Neighbours Really Want to Party: A survey of 2,100 Australians showed 59% never speak with their neighbours, and 38% do not know their neighbours at all. BUT 73% said they would like to get to know their neighbours better.
  • Street Parties Save Lives: Tim Costello says, ‘Isolation kills more people each year than tobacco-related diseases.’ But Hugh Mackay has the solution. He writes, ‘If I were asked what to do about the level of insecurity and anxiety in contemporary Australian society, I wouldn’t start with politics, and I wouldn’t say too much about terrorism. I’d suggest, as the first step, that you invite the neighbours over for a drink this weekend. Today a drink, tomorrow a BBQ, pretty soon, a community.’

Grant, the man who inspired the Christmas Street Party idea, has some wise advice for those who would like to reach out to their neighbours and not go mad in the process.

How to Throw a Party and Still Be Smiling at the End

  1. Keep It Simple. Remember, it’s a street party – not a royal wedding.
    Host a party that’s within your time and financial capacity. Invite one person over, have a BBQ with the neighbours on either side of you – start small, and you can build bigger next year.
  2. Don’t Do It All on Your Own. When you invite people, ask them to bring a plate. People love to contribute, and it instantly gives them a sense of belonging to help make the party a success. You can even host the party in someone else’s yard, use their BBQ or plan the party together.
  3. Keep the Main Thing the Main Thing. The point of hosting a street party is so everyone can get to know each other, so don’t lose perspective over the ‘hosting’ and forget to ‘party’!
  4. Invite Everyone Twice. It’s important to give everyone plenty of notice about the party, so get those invites into letterboxes or under the welcome mat ASAP, but you also want to personally invite people. The people who come to the party will be the ones you’ve personally invited.

Some years ago, I hosted my first street party. I can testify to the positive effect of having a neighbourhood Christmas Street Party.

At the time, I had five neighbours and before I started anything, I asked for their help and permission to hold a street party. Everyone was happy with the idea, and I would describe my attempted street party as a mild success. It gave me an opportunity and a good excuse to develop new friendships with my neighbours. Hopefully, it all helped us ‘live longer’.

Lovework

So, what does this have to do with being a father and having a great family?

It’s quite simple really; as Mahatma Gandhi said, “You must become the change you seek.”

If you want your children to grow up and make a difference in the world, you have to start making a difference yourself.

The best place to start is with your neighbours. Reaching out to your neighbours can be as simple as inviting them around for a cuppa. You could go a bit further and organise a barbecue or a Christmas Street Party.

The main thing is to do something.

As Mother Teresa said, “We cannot do great things, only small things with great love”.

Good relationships are the foundation for a happy and healthy life. You and your neighbours will live longer as a result.

73% of Australians want to get to know their neighbours better. Let’s do something to help them.

Yours for building a caring community,
Warwick Marsh

___

Image courtesy of Adobe.

About the Author: Warwick Marsh

Warwick Marsh has been married to Alison Marsh since 1975; they have five children and nine grandchildren, and he and his wife live in Wollongong in NSW, Australia. He is a family and faith advocate, social reformer, musician, TV producer, writer and public speaker. Warwick is a leader in the Men’s and Family Movement, and he is well-known in Australia for his advocacy for children, marriage, manhood, family, fatherhood and faith. Warwick is passionate to encourage men to be great fathers and to know the greatest Father of all. The Father in Whom “there is no shadow of turning.”

One Comment

  1. Jack Carney December 15, 2024 at 10:34 am - Reply

    Thanks Warwick for a well written article on an crucially important topic which I frame as the ultimate value of caring relationships and which you captured in “ reaching out and building friendships will help you live longer”.
    Having researched and interacted with others on this theme of what I will term “Building Better Relationships” for many years–in the past working in Brisbane for Relationships Australia as a couples coach and currently teaching Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) by Thomas Gordon—I bring the work of James J. Lynch to you and your readers attention. His books focus on the “Medical Consequences of Loneliness”:
    “Our common plight is that it is becoming increasingly difficult to share the most basic of all human truths: that people desperately need each other, that we really are dependent on one another. While we are alive, what we have to give to each other is the simplest yet most sublime gift—ourselves.” James J. Lynch
    The Broken Heart: Medical Consequences of Loneliness, 1977
    https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/0465007724?ref_=mr_referred_us_au_nz
    Read on Archive
    https://archive.org/details/brokenheartmedic00lync/page/n5/mode/2up
    The Language of the Heart: Body’s Response to Human Dialogue, 1985
    https://www.amazon.com/Language-Heart-Peter-Lynch/dp/046503795X
    Read on Archive
    https://archive.org/details/languageofhearth0000lync
    A Cry Unheard: New Insights into the Medical Consequences of Loneliness, 2000
    https://www.amazon.com/A-Cry-Unheard-James-Lynch-audiobook/dp/B00SXJ9SQM
    Read on Archive
    https://archive.org/details/cryunheardnewins0000lync
    When I work with singles or couples to establish and grow a “Pairing Today For Life” consummate (passion, intimacy, commitment) relationship I will often point them to James’ work to understand how nature has shaped us to need consummate relationships for longer and healthier lives. I consider we must set responsibly free human relationships as our most important endeavor.
    As an advocate for Peaceful Parenting (use neither punishments nor rewards) and teaching Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) by Thomas Gordon to achieve that end, I hope parents here will consider joining my online eight weekly two hour sessions PET course I present on demand when enough want it—all fees are a donation to my African charity as PET is not a business for me but a volunteer contribution to achieving a Peaceful World, the only way I believe possible, through Peaceful Parenting resulting in Responsibly Free persons who do no harm to themselves or others.
    I hope my Website and Substack link on PET will not break any rules here
    Parent Effectiveness Training New Zealand (Wayback Home)
    http:///tinyurl.com/2kdz4629
    PARENT EFFECTIVENESS TRAINING (PET) ONLINE STARTS 7PM SUNDAY–UPDATE: NOVEMBER 24, 2024 (New Zealand time)–PEACEFUL PARENTING FOR A PEACEFUL WORLD
    https://responsiblyfree.substack.com/p/parent-effectiveness-training-pet
    Feel free to email me to connect: Jack—responsiblyfree@protonmail.com
    Here is to Peaceful Parenting and a Peaceful Planet,
    Jack, Auckland, New Zealand

Leave A Comment