Yes, you can learn to father. Hear from 86-year-old Clive on how he went from having no relatable dad in his life to becoming the pivot around which many from inside and outside of his bloodline proudly call him ‘dad’.
How do you learn to be a father when you have not had a good example from your father?
Can you just trust instinct? Is that enough?
And when you decide to be a better dad, where is a good place to start?
In Real Talk 4 Real Men, 86-year-old Pastor Clive Field returns to the show to share more of his very personal but sadly common story of learning to father when you not only have no idea how, but have deep wounds that your own father created in you.
Listen to Real Talk 4 Real Men episode #33:
Not A Bad Man, But Not a Good Father
In Clive’s case, and in his own words, his father was not a bad man. His father did not do some of the terrible things that some fathers do. But nevertheless, Clive was deeply affected by his father’s neglect, and the bittersweet pill was that his world became brighter when he left home and got away from his father.
That dad relationship is just so important to most people.
~ Clive Field
You Can Learn To Father
In podcast #2, we learned how God ultimately used this for good and Clive became the man through whom the Clive family lineage changed and the father wound was stopped, but in Clive’s return in episode #33 we learn:
- What is an easy place to start if you want to father better;
- The importance of community and connection in helping you recover from your own father wounds;
- How pretending to be ‘ok’ will not eventually make things better for you or your kids (also see blogpost “Are You a Fake?”);
- The amazing power of simple physical touch;
- The dangers of trite communication vs the power of real communication.
If being a better father, or learning to father in a way that is a meaningful and powerful to your kids seems too hard or too late for you to do, then this podcast is especially for you. It is never too late while you are both still breathing to learn to father and to be a better dad.
And if your kids have gone or will not give you a second chance just yet, there are many others who could use a ‘dad’ like you — yes, even grown men and woman. Today, Clive still has mature people (pushing 50 years old even) whom he did not raise, calling him ‘dad’.
Will you be my father?
~ 48-year-old woman who never had a dad
They may not have had their own dad growing up, but they do today because Clive Field learned to father.
You can stream the podcast below:
or even better, subscribe through iTunes, Google Play, Android, PodBean, Spotify or the app on your device (just search for Real Talk 4 Real Men).
If you missed Clive’s first podcast, you can reach that here:
Clive Field Real Talk 4 Real Men Episode #2