I am amused by the serious instruction of friends, “Do what you love and what feels right for you.” Their career counselling advice amuses me because they haven’t regarded that what I love and what feels right can sometimes yell wildly at each other in conflict. In the red corner, What-I-Love argues that there are Tassie mountain summits that I am yet to tread. In the blue corner, What-Feels-Right makes the ...

This year I am grateful that the Easter Bunny won’t be stopping by. The shambolic mess that the break‑and‑enter bunny left last year has left me thankful for a reprieve. There are many things that I celebrate at Easter… family traditions, the ceremony and stories of Easter accounts and the extra holiday time that I am able to share with my beautiful earthly angels. I definitely do not celebrate the intrusion ...

I am Joy. I am the happy-go-lucky character that sets out to stir my children into happiness when Sadness mopes forlornly into their day. I parent to have my daughters be afflicted with my happy contagion. That was before the Joy character of the Inside Out movie set me to believing that it is okay for Joy and Sadness to sit comfortably together. Joy – the movie character – had her ...

Sometimes on the other side of a wonderful parenting weekend, there is a sense that single parenting is a clock-on-clock-off thing. A full parenting weekend involves the tumble and fun and out of sorts and homework and silliness and around-the-house helping out. Then, it goes quiet when I mentally punch off my dad timecard after wrapping up the school drop-off, knowing that the mum shift starts that afternoon. And, while I ...

Sometimes my weekends are a maddening tussle to make the one-after-the-other events that seem to start flooding our Friday and spill into our Saturday and Sunday. Sport, birthday parties, youth group, housework, homework, school socials all back up, one against the other, to make our dad and daughters time fairly frenetic. Leading into my last weekend with Miss 7 and Miss 12, I knew that my Friday to Monday was going ...

“Inaugurated in 1957, the Australian Father of the Year has been awarded annually to high-profile, famous fathers, from prime ministers and politicians to sportsmen, business leaders, entertainers and musicians acknowledging the support, guidance and love they show to Australian children.” So says Wikipedia. I am not famous or high-profile. The smear-the-opponent style of politics means that I will never go there, and my dad jokes hardly rate as entertainment. A long ...

The proposed Family Law Amendment legislation by the Labor Government will be another case of rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic, instead of fixing the hole in the hull to stop the ship from going down. Many of the reform proposals, such as considering the best interests of the child, are well-intentioned, but unless they solve the fundamental problem, they really become another layer of bureaucracy to waste taxpayers’ money. ...

A few weeks ago, on an impulse and wanting to share a snapshot of my post-separation status, I wrote a part-whimsical, part-serious piece about the worst parts of being a single dad. By implication, if some parts are worst, then there must be some best bits, says my cerebral dialogue. Voice Number One says the best bit is simply being a dad. Voice Number One ignores the “single” tag and just ...

Family law expert Patrick Parkinson says Labor’s proposal to amend the Family Law Act is a radical change that will take Australia back to when mothers were granted primacy in custody battles. The results for dads will be devastating.

This week a television crew from the Japanese public broadcaster came to Sydney to interview family law specialist Justin Dowd, a former President of the NSW Law Society. Japan is considering a move away from mum-custody towards “joint parental authority” — which recognises that it’s in the best interests of children to have both mum and dad remain involved in their care. The Japanese crew came to Australia because they acknowledge ...

I separated from my ex-wife a few years ago. I think that it was five years ago. It could have been six. On reflection, the first six months seemed like six years. During the frenzied rush of committing to a rental and buying a car and purchasing beds for my daughters, plenty of well-meaning people offered the saying that “things will get better… they always do!” Yes, things do get better, ...

By Bettina Arndt — The Sydney Morning Herald, April 28, 2014 A belief that children under three should not stay overnight with their separated or divorced father has underpinned our family law system for years. Has it all been a mistake? Bettina Arndt reports. Editor’s Note: Little has changed in the last ten years. Now, more than ever, changes are needed in Australia’s family law system. Across Australia, fathers are being ...

Toileting is pitiful in a onesie! And so, they are not the usual garb of this practical single dad, but for a social experiment that I crafted to play out. I cannot conceive that a bedtime costume as impractical as a onesie would ever be engineered for anything more than a practical joke. I imagine the pyjama design team in the boardroom some Friday (after a way-too-long lunch) being more than ...

Visiting the dentist has all the appeal of cleaning my daughters’ long, clagged hair out of the shower drain. I visit annually because it is the right thing to do. Each visit follows a predictable pattern. I arrive early at the clinic. I eagerly anticipate being able to read a National Geographic (I have allergies to sitting still doing nothing and like learning things) and ultimately am disappointed by the tattered ...

School holidays shared with my daughters ought to be a fun time. I have a notion that the week-long blocks of time I share with my daughters during school holidays should be blissful. Yet, day three into the week with my daughters, and I was terrified as my racing-harness chair tipped back enough for my stomach to spill into my mouth. I sensed my centre of gravity was about to topple ...

Dad’s log. Day 3 of our 8-day expedition of exploration… my crew of two settled excitedly into their temporary resort environment. Their sense of holiday time gives them cause to make the argument that five serves of vegetable and two of fruit does not apply. “But, Daa-aad… it’s holidays… we ought to be having fun!” is their reasoned argument against not tending to the standard chores. Somehow the crew have morphed ...

Parental alienation is a systemic plague infecting the family court system. Inoculating the courts against this would clear the emotional quagmire brought on by The Court of Emotion’s atrocious toxic waiting queue in a matter of months. Not only this, the disproportionately high suicide rate among men, as well as domestic violence numbers, would likely nosedive across the board. Defusing the manipulative device, instead of downplaying its effects, can go a ...

Taylor is the popular girl at my daughters’ all-girl school. All schools have popular kids. This popular girl holds some sort of easy charm, often leaving some girls pining for that social standing. Normally I wouldn’t be too fussed about the popular girl; however, I believe that Taylor is stepping onto my parenting turf. And, when it comes to the well-being of my children, I am fiercely territorial. I try to ...

I hold a lofty ideal for my daughters. Lofty and simple. I want them to be sure in believing that they are wholesome people of value, who can tend generously to others and themselves. If I am doing well as a mindful dad, then I am setting my daughters up to be caring companions to friend, family and foreigner. As they develop the skills to rely less on me and fend ...

Joe is a mate of mine. “Mate” hardly describes our connection, yet the sporadic contact belies a relationship that holds strong meaning for me. Joe is pretty much anonymous to most, but that is of his own making. He is humble at a time when indulgence and opulence seemed to be currency. For a long time, he struggled as an artisan. Other carpentry shops that ran slave labour gazumped the hand-crafted ...