I fought back tears while listening to “To Be a Man” by Dax. This song about the meaning and challenge of being a man tells us that all men need encouragement, especially when we are tempted to stay silent, for despairing silence kills.

We thank all those wonderful people who contributed to our end-of-year appeal. When people call the office to donate, I sometimes ask, “Is there anything I can pray for you, your family and/or your loved ones?”

One lady I said this to just started crying. I was taken aback and asked, “What’s the matter?”

“Well, next week I need help! You see, I am remembering the anniversary of the death of my husband through suicide just under 12 months ago. Nothing seemed wrong. I went out shopping and was shocked to come home to find my husband had shot himself.”

I managed to ask, my voice quavering with emotion, if he had told her about anything he was going through.

“No, he never told me, but apparently, he had some very serious health challenges, but he kept them to himself. He did not share them with anybody.”

Henry D. Thoreau’s words came to mind, who famously said, “Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”

Silence Kills Men

I prayed with her on the phone. We were both crying, but she was reassured that someone else cared. She found great comfort. As the man said, “A trouble shared is a trouble halved.”

I suddenly recalled driving along a lonely road out in the countryside in the mid-eighties. I was right in the midst of a business collapse. I felt like a failure, and I wasn’t in a very healthy state of mind.

“How was my family going to survive?”, I asked myself over the next few months or years, with my ability to provide taken from me. I remembered the life insurance policy I had, and I looked at the big gum trees at the side of the road.

The thought came to me that I could stage my own suicide and make it look like an accident. Then my wife and family would get the money and could be provided for, and all would be well. Then I heard my young, two-year-old son wake up in the back baby seat of the car and cry, “Daddy!”

Thankfully, that dark thought left me, and I came to my senses. I was very thankful that I had my young son with me in the car. His presence literally saved my life.

Maybe that is one of the reasons this powerful song, called “To Be a Man” by Dax, a hip-hop artist, touched me so deeply. I found myself fighting back tears while listening to it. The Mega-Remix version below features several other great singers and rappers.

This song about the meaning and challenge of being a man has a staggering 36,446 comments. Let me share some of the most popular ones with you.

“I’m a 50-year-old dad of two daughters. I’ve been married 26 years! A retired police officer in Ohio, as of a month ago. This song is deep. There’s not a true man on this planet who won’t shed a tear listening. Men don’t care about race or what your religion is. We just get s*** done because nobody else will.  That’s what this world is missing: real men. Thank you for this song!” By GGFinger 

“I am a Former Marine, single dad to my son since he was two, now 11. I’ve isolated myself from friends and family for no reason, it seems. My son is the only reason why I’m alive. Depression with loneliness is my devil! I sat alone and listened to these words over and over again. I don’t think I’ve ever cried this hard. Knowing that I’m not alone and that other men feel this pain will help me seek help. I don’t write reviews, nor do I comment on videos, so for me to take the courage to express myself a little bit and my pain shows just how impactful this song is. Thank you (Dax)! You saved me.” TBoneChampC4557

“As a woman, this song breaks my heart. The pressures of being a man and having to be strong when you are dying on the inside and feeling like there’s nowhere to turn or no one to talk to. You men are expected to be strong all the time and fix life’s problems. All the while struggling to beat that beast inside that’s trying to beat you down. Just know I appreciate all you men in all walks, all over the world. Just know you are not alone.” Stephanie Eavila7588

“I know this may not be viewed by you or many.  But as a father, I want my son to understand that being a man is about standing for something bigger than yourself. No amount of money, cars, or fake friends will measure what you can bring to this world without a sense of honesty and humility. To all the fathers, sons, husbands, and real men who see this, keep standing for what is right.” Big RobbyC3448

Huge thanks to David Maywald, who is writing a book in support of manhood (I will keep you posted), for sharing this video with me and now with you. The ripples of love know no end.

Lovework

If this encourages you, why not share it with a friend? We all need encouragement. As Watto Watson, the founder of Shed Happens, said, “I have never seen a man go backwards with encouragement.”

Yours for encouraging men,

Warwick Marsh

PS: We ALL need encouragement. Now is the time to invite your friends and book your place at the Men’s Leadership Summit, 8–10 August 2025. Find out more and register here.

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Image via Dax/Facebook.