Self-control is the ability to say “no” when you want to say “yes“! In 1972, Walter Mischel conducted one of the classic psychology experiments of all time. Children were shown into a laboratory and given a plate with a marshmallow on it. They were told they could eat it now, or if they waited a few minutes until he returned, they could have two! The experimenters found that some children had ...

A majority of dads bond with their daughters through shared activities. Dad and daughter bonds are linked to what a 2013 Baylor University study called ‘closeness in the doing.’ “This is,” Baylor affirmed, “the masculine style of building closeness.” Mums tend to bond through the “feminine orientation of talking” — an observation the study described as “closeness in dialogue.” Building Memories Leaning on experiential data, Baylor noted, “When asked what key ...

Research shows that there are some basic habits that combine to make a winning formula for families with successful, well-adjusted children who will flourish in life. “Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated,” are the wise words of Confucius. Albert Einstein said it this way: “Everything should be made as simple as possible but not simpler.” And one final word of wisdom from Steve Jobs is, “Simple ...

When you analyse the social science about the importance of dads, it is unequivocal. Dads are vitally important to their children’s success in a myriad of ways. As George Herbert said, “One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters.” This is not speculation — it is reality. Joshua A Krisch puts the case well for this in an article titled “The Science of Dad and the ‘Father Effect’“. The subtitle says ...

Falling in love is a common experience and a wonderful one. It sweeps us up in a euphoric passion that dominates our thoughts day and night. But is there more to it than simple emotions?   Romantic love, and its impact on us, has been the subject of study for millennia. Philosophers from ancient times have mused on it, theologians have divined it and poets have waxed lyrical about it.   More recently, it has become a subject of interest to scientists from the fields of psychology, sociology and neurobiology. Consequently, we ...

Men and women have different ways of communicating. Once you understand how to speak your beloved’s language, life will be a lot smoother! My wife asked me, “Does my hair look better?” The context of the conversation was that the COVID lockdowns had prevented her from going to the hairdresser to get her regular haircut. This is a grief to a woman, let alone the feeling of not looking her best. ...

Taking a pause and practising restraint in the midst of conflict allows you to identify how old wounds are being triggered by the current situation, and re-focus in order to resolve the conflict peacefully, repairing the relationship and deepening your love. It happens all the time — one of us does or says something and it triggers a harsh reaction. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to ...

Every now and then, a moment comes when someone fires a bolt of truth into the mayhem of modern culture and the repercussions are felt around the world, in a good way!  Such a moment was the historic interview by Cathy Newman, an avowed radical feminist, with a mild but firm professor, Jordan Peterson from Canada, a highly intelligent advocate for common sense. The interview has gone viral and is now ...

It happens all the time: one of us does or says something and the other is triggered, reacting harshly. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to develop the virtue of restraint. While it is often associated with Buddhist meditation, mindfulness has actually been a feature of many religions under different names, including Christianity. It has also become an essential tool in the field of psychology for helping ...

Do you struggle with behaviours that you can’t change, and can’t understand where they come from? Or perhaps you still harbour guilt and shame, or blame yourself for not having a father in your life? The impacts of being fatherless at some key point in our lives can have devastating consequences that we might not even be aware of. Listen to Jack Thurston’s story and his proven solutions to the impacts ...

Sometimes parents can feel a little helpless when anything they do makes their child’s tantrum worse. Below, Jess Mannion sheds light on how we can respond to kids’ tantrums in her blog post titled, ‘Public Tantrums – How To Remain The Parent’. We have all been there. As our children get older, theoretically the tantrums get easier to deal with — we can explain things more, empathise with how upset they ...

Gratitude now has a voice. We as fathers need to be encouraged to be thankful, so we can encourage our children to be the same. Thankful people are happy people. Thankful families are happy families. I even try to teach this to myself, but some things are better caught than taught! When my friend Mark Powell sent me the video below, I nearly leapt out of my skin with excitement. Mark ...

Yesterday I heard a disturbing story. My friend rang me to share how his son had recently gone through a very sad divorce. He shared with his Dad how the unreality of the digital world, that many young people live in today, was a major contributor to his divorce and his general lack of wellbeing. My friend’s son pointed out that after a while, for the inhabitant of the digital world, ...

I look forward to family get-togethers at Christmas, because there is always lots of laughter. Our family’s principal humourist has recently had his first child. As we were enjoying our Christmas family dinner, we were all talking in earnest about his baby son’s resemblance to both his parents. Of course, the discussion revolved around whether he was more like dad or more like mum. Perhaps the 3-month-old baby could understand our ...