Last night, some scratchy static in my dad subconscious alerted me to go about being a dad with extra care and gentleness. Most parents know of our children’s delicate talent for beckoning us to attention with tantrums, yelled commands and rushing tears. Other times, there is no trumpet that alerts a parent to go softly. I know that the parenting cues can be miniscule. You are forgiven for missing them, and ...

My together time with my daughters makes three people. When we are together, each of us brings our own measure of joy, mellowness, sanity, sorrow, silliness, delight, curiosity, affection, wonder and all the other hurdy-gurdy of emotions. Even though I try to have my dad radar tuned in to the emotions of two daughters, sometimes it can be a tough read. Tuning in and applying the right combination of daddy empathy ...

Outta Puff Daddys (OPD) is a mixed bag of over-40s men from Brighton in the United Kingdom dancing to bridge the gap between masculinity and good mental health. It’s cringe for a good cause. Together as a group since 2012, they started life as a one-off way to encourage their kids. The “Boy Band” now uses dance routines, while capitalising on the comedy of dads on a dancefloor, to stem the ...

I am Joy. I am the happy-go-lucky character that sets out to stir my children into happiness when Sadness mopes forlornly into their day. I parent to have my daughters be afflicted with my happy contagion. That was before the Joy character of the Inside Out movie set me to believing that it is okay for Joy and Sadness to sit comfortably together. Joy – the movie character – had her ...

Netflix’s recent release, "The Adam Project" (2022), blends the issues surrounding family, identity and morality with swashbuckling fight scenes and the wondrous concept of time travel to produce a (mostly) family-friendly film that is a paean to fatherhood, love and self-sacrifice.

While much in the way of traditional gender roles has shifted in modern times, most women I know still want a man who can be the rock in the relationship. But just what does being the rock entail? I asked this question in the Community, and this is what a few of the men had to say: Jamie said: “To me, that means being mature, guided by reason and my family’s best ...

One twin wakes up from his afternoon nap and is inconsolable. He doesn’t want his bottle or pillow pet. A cuddle does nothing. As I work through all the possibilities, I keep my cool, constantly just trying to find a way to help my son through this moment. Things eventually settle and all is well. Volteface Two hours later, the same twin pauses to pick up a rock when I’m in ...

‘Shhhhh,’ I whispered. ‘Don’t spoil the surprise.’ ‘Okay.’ He whispered back, conspiratorially, as we tucked hubby’s Father’s Day present away in the storage room. ‘Remember, it’s our secret, okay? Don’t spoil the surprise.’ I continued, shutting the door. Only to hear his excited footsteps on the stairs before I’d even had time to turn around! Letting Loose ‘Don’t spoil the surprise, Daddy!’ he called out, running as fast as his little ...

Language is a wonderful thing. Through the power of language, one person can translate the most complex and nebulous of ideas into terms that another can understand. Thus, not only the understanding but also the realisation of a new or different concept can be transposed from one mind to another. It’s really a miraculous process. Powerful and adaptable tool that it is, language is not the basis of communication, just a ...

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’ conversation. Such exchanges are important for coordinating our lives and avoiding unnecessary misunderstandings, but they don’t ...

If you’re struggling to cope with the graphic details and images you’re exposed to in the media (cyclones, acts of terrorism and violence), imagine what must be going through the minds of your children. Children contend with these images according to their age and development. Little ones will often mix what is real with make-believe, so they aren’t really aware of the “disaster”, but they can see that people are upset ...

Loss and grief are naturally part and parcel of our finite lives. This does not make it any easier. How can we teach our children to handle the pain? When my father passed away suddenly, I was quickly forced to understand how a traumatic event can tip a family upsidedown. Not only was I coming to a place of living with my own grief — I also had to be a ...

Anger feels right in the moment, but no child wants an angry parent. Below is some great advice on how to deal with your anger to become more effective and loving as you raise your kids. To be honest, I still struggle with anger sometimes, especially when I’m tired. Every time I think I’m making progress, I find myself yelling again. I’ll even stamp the occasional foot and wonder to myself ...

Struggling for motivation? Frustrated that you’re starting things and not getting them finished? Here I expose the principles to staying motivated. Recently I was asked to provide some secret sauce for an Australian Defence magazine on staying motivated. I’m not going to replicate the full report here, so you can check out the source article “My Secrets To Getting & Staying Motivated”. But here’s a summary of steps Anyone can do now ...

Do you struggle with behaviours that you can’t change, and can’t understand where they come from? Or perhaps you still harbour guilt and shame, or blame yourself for not having a father in your life? The impacts of being fatherless at some key point in our lives can have devastating consequences that we might not even be aware of. Listen to Jack Thurston’s story and his proven solutions to the impacts ...

Today, Chris and Guy answer the question: what is really involved in being a father in a child’s world? Episode #31 of Real Talk 4 Real Men. When you became a daddy, did you think that being a father was something just so natural, you didn’t really need to think very much about it? That was Chris’ experience more than four decades ago, but he had to learn the hard way ...

Sometimes parents can feel a little helpless when anything they do makes their child’s tantrum worse. Below, Jess Mannion sheds light on how we can respond to kids’ tantrums in her blog post titled, ‘Public Tantrums – How To Remain The Parent’. We have all been there. As our children get older, theoretically the tantrums get easier to deal with — we can explain things more, empathise with how upset they ...

What is worse than death of a partner in a relationship? For those who have been through it, finding your partner has cheated on you brings pain that can seem to be impossible to deal with. How will your relationship survive? How will you survive? What about the kids? In this blogpost and podcast, Phil will give you hope and a pathway forward that works. Help! My Partner Has Had An ...

Anyone who has been a father and then a stepfather knows that they aren’t the same. While many aspects of these two roles are similar, it is the unique ones that lead to disillusionment. Franklin put it this way: “I’ve been to every Promise Keepers conference and I’ve studied fathering with my men’s group many times. But nothing has prepared me for being a stepfather. With my own kids I have a ...

If you are a Dad, it is hard not to feel a bit overwhelmed at the present moment. The coronavirus news seems to beat down at us from every quarter. Our children and our wives are looking to us for leadership in the midst of our current situation. What is our response to them? Firstly, we need to keep the saw sharp. Who is the saw in this analogy? You are the ...