Fewer Men are Married, Fewer Men Are Happy — That’s No Coincidence

Men Married Happy

As a father of two — and soon to be three — I don’t have a lot of spare time to stop and reflect. But when I do, it’s often in gratitude for the gift of my family.

I was single until my mid-30s, and I loved the freedom of that life stage. But here’s the message I want young men who are delaying marriage to hear: Being a husband, father, protector and provider brings a deeper satisfaction than even the freest single years can offer.

And it’s not just me saying so.

Unmarried Men Are Unhappier

A new US analysis has found that unmarried men aged 20 to 39 now outnumber married men by nearly two to one, with researchers warning that the cost is being paid in loneliness and unhappiness.

Brad Wilcox, a sociologist from the University of Virginia who led the Institute for Family Studies (IFS) analysis, said unmarried men are more likely to be lonely, unhappy, and prone to “deaths of despair”.

“It’s never good for a society to have large numbers of unattached, dispirited and unhappy young men,” he warned.

The analysis, which draws on data from the US Census Bureau, found that the number of young, unmarried men surged from 20.7 million in 2000 to 30.4 million in 2025, while young married men fell from 18.1 million to 15.4 million. Over the quarter century measured, the gap between these numbers widened from 2.6 million to a staggering 15 million.

That’s the marriage data — what about the findings on happiness?

A second IFS analysis found the happiness gap between married and unmarried young adults has widened sharply over a similar period.

In 1980, 91% of married adults aged 22 to 35 reported being “pretty” or “very” happy, compared to 83% of their unmarried peers — an eight-point gap.

By 2024, happiness rates among married people remained almost unchanged, at 90%, while happiness rates among unmarried people had plummeted to 68%, stretching the gap to 22 points.

What’s Behind the Shift?

Wilcox said the decline has hit working-class men hardest, driven by major social changes. He pointed to a generation of boys growing up without fathers, immersed in video games and social media.

“The digital revolution has exacted a major toll on their social skills, their opportunities to mix and mingle, and their educational attainment,” Wilcox told The Washington Times. “Our schools also do them a disservice, as they tend not to cater to the interests and educational orientations of boys.”

Economic pressure has compounded the shift. The same article quotes Donna Turner, an educational psychologist, who says, “When wages are unstable, and housing feels out of reach, many men feel they cannot qualify as husbands.”

Similar Trends in Australia

Similar trends are showing up in Australia. Among Australian men aged 20 to 34, the share who had never married rose from 37% in 1971 to 77% in 2021, according to Australian Bureau of Statistics data spanning five decades.

And while data on happiness that differentiates between married and unmarried Australians is hard to come by, the Australian Unity Wellbeing Index, which has tracked the nation’s wellbeing since 2001, found that adults aged 18 to 34 recorded the lowest personal wellbeing of any age group in 2024.

There’s no doubt that similar drivers are at play in Australia — including cost-of-living pressures, family breakdown, and seismic social changes.

There are no easy solutions to this unfolding crisis. And as a married father trying to pass on some wisdom to young, single men, I don’t want to pretend that marriage will solve all your problems.

But what I will say is this: the headline data doesn’t lie. Committing yourself to a woman of character and building a life and family with her is one of the best decisions a man will ever make — both for those under his care, and for himself.

Yes, it will also come with a mountain of challenges. Life will become harder, not easier. But isn’t it true that the most rewarding and satisfying things in life are also some of the most challenging?

Take it from someone who enjoyed immensely the freedom of his single years: what you give up by choosing marriage simply can’t compare to what you’ll receive in return.

So, enjoy your single years. But do so while proactively pursuing a future bigger than yourself — and the discipline, character and faith you’ll need when that future arrives.

___

Image via Mary Taylor/Pexels.

Kurt Mahlburg is Canberra Declaration's Research and Features Editor. He hosts his own blog at Cross + Culture and is also a contributor at the Spectator Australia, MercatorNet, Caldron Pool and The Good Sauce. Kurt is also a published author. His book Cross and Culture: Can Jesus Save the West? provides a rigorous analysis of the modern malaise in Western society and how Jesus provides the answer to the challenges before us.

Kurt has a particular interest in speaking the truths of Jesus into the public square in a way that makes sense to a secular culture and that gives Christians courage to do the same. Kurt has also studied architecture, has lived for two years in remote South-East Asia, and among his other interests are philosophy, history, surf, the outdoors, and travel. He is married to Angie.

Kurt Mahlburg is Canberra Declaration's Research and Features Editor. He hosts his own blog at Cross + Culture and is also a contributor at the Spectator Australia, MercatorNet, Caldron Pool and The Good Sauce. Kurt is also a published author. His book Cross and Culture: Can Jesus Save the West? provides a rigorous analysis of the modern malaise in Western society and how Jesus provides the answer to the challenges before us.

Kurt has a particular interest in speaking the truths of Jesus into the public square in a way that makes sense to a secular culture and that gives Christians courage to do the same. Kurt has also studied architecture, has lived for two years in remote South-East Asia, and among his other interests are philosophy, history, surf, the outdoors, and travel. He is married to Angie.

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