Let’s be honest – I don’t enjoy doing hard things. Who really does? For dads in the 21st century, “hard” often means facing fears, stepping into discomfort, or risking offence. But if you want to be a great dad, doing hard things isn’t optional – it’s essential.

The thing about fear is, it’s just a feeling. Face it, and it usually fades. Same with discomfort, awkwardness or a little pain – they tend to disappear once you push through. And as for causing offence – or worse, being offended – well, do I need to point out how overblown that can be?

I once wrote about a particularly nerve-racking morning that still sticks with me. It was late 2003, and I mustered all the courage I had to ask my future in-laws, Neil and Sharenne, for their blessing to marry their amazing daughter, Jodi.

Heart pounding, I stammered, “Would it be… okay… if I married your daughter?” as Neil was pulling on his shoes and about to head out the door for work (not exactly perfect timing). He generously exclaimed, “I thought you’d never ask!” Relief hit me like a wave. Sharenne’s, “Oh, of course, Nat!” was sweet music to my ears.

Now, more than 21 years later, with five wonderful daughters and plenty of ups and downs, I’m so grateful I faced that fear of rejection and asked to marry the woman of my dreams.

In my forty-odd years on the planet, there have been other hard things, too.

Despite doing everything humanly possible, I had to face the fact that my business was failing. I had to let it go. That was tough. But looking back, I can see my Father in Heaven was in control the whole time. Thankfully, He has a plan for my life just as He has one for yours. Now, I’m blessed to work at Dads4Kids.

Leaving the school I once attended because it no longer aligned with our family’s values, choosing to leave well, and launching into homeschool instead? That was hard. But the peace and closeness our family has found as a result? Absolutely worth it.

Hard Things Produce the Best Things

When I think about hard things, I realise this truth: they have produced some of the greatest joys in my life.

The distinguished Dr. Jordan B. Peterson sums it up forthrightly:

“Find something difficult to do. You need that. You’re not built for comfort or pleasure… don’t be thinking that’s what your life is aimed at. That’s contemptible!”

He’s right.

If you’re still not convinced, check out this straight-talking video from The Blunt Guy on how to force yourself to do hard things:

So, what’s one of the biggest, hardest things all dads face? Admitting we can’t do this thing called life on our own.

At some point, we all must confront reality: we weren’t made to go it alone. There’s a purpose behind all of this. Life is short. Kids grow fast. Time passes quickly. Things will be hard. But by God’s grace, you’ll get through – and come out stronger.

One last encouragement from the poetic Peterson:

“When you are visited by chaos and swallowed up; when nature curses you or someone you love with illness; or when tyranny rends asunder something of value that you have built, it is salutary to know the rest of the story.

All that misfortune is only the bitter half of the tale of existence, without taking note of the heroic element of redemption or the nobility of the human spirit requiring a certain responsibility to shoulder. We ignore that addition to the story at our peril, because life is so difficult that losing sight of the heroic part of existence could cost us everything. We do not want that to happen.

We need instead to take heart, and to take spirit, and to look at things carefully and properly, and to live the way that we could live.”

Lovework

Dad, take heart. You can get through this. Face your fears. Do hard things. And if you need someone to stand with you and pray with you, please reach out to the Dads4Kids team here. We’d love to hear from you.

As Peterson says, “take heart”. Muster the courage to confront the challenges in your life. One day in the future you’ll be glad you did.

Yours for doing hard things,

Nathaniel Marsh

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Image via Adobe.