Fathers and mothers each bring different qualities to parenting. Fathers can’t mother, and mothers can’t father. That is why both parents are so important to a healthy upbringing. Being a parent is all about working towards redundancy. In other words, there will come a time when your children will be able to stand on their own two feet. Eagles do it with their chicks that don’t want to leave the nest. ...
Albert Einstein said, “Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed.” Einstein acknowledged his failures as a husband and as a father in moments of candour in his private letters. To his credit, this is more than most men will admit to. Thoreau was right to say, “most men lead lives of quiet desperation”. I ...
Last night I came home from a busy day at the office. I walked into the kitchen where my son and daughter-in-law were cooking dinner. I instinctively reached out my hands behind both their backs and rubbed their backs as if to congratulate them for the beautiful dinner we were about to eat. My son did not comment, but my daughter-in-law said, “Do it again! Your friendly back rub made me ...
There is a saying that ‘a good father gets down to his children’s level’. This really came to light recently at my son’s 35th birthday dinner. Even though it was a birthday party for an adult, it was one of the most child-friendly parties I have ever been to. The table was only 400mm high, in a traditional Thai, sit-on-the-floor-and-eat style. In other words, the table’s height suited young children, especially ...
Some time ago, I wrote an article called “Ten Reasons for Eating Together” for the Dads4Kids weekly newsletter to inspire fathers and encourage families. The week after the story went out to 5,000 fathers, I spoke to my wife about the newsletter. I said, “You know, a lot of men are going to start eating more with their families after last week’s newsletter -- 10 Reasons for Eating Together, but not ...
‘Fathers Who Dare Win’ is a confronting but captivating title for a great book on how to be a great dad. Ian Grant, the author, was for many years New Zealand’s number one parenting coach. Ian and his wife founded the Parenting Place in 1993. That organisation is now the largest positive parenting charity in New Zealand. The following extract from Fathers Who Dare Win which is about becoming a hero ...
I remember when my teenage sons first played Korn’s music for me. I found it really disturbing. It just wasn’t my kind of music. I had grown up playing blues, rock and reggae on my guitar. I found the music very dark. The discordant riffs were off-putting as were Jonathan Davis growling, sometimes screaming, lyrics. The New York Times said in 1996 that the band was “mad at everyone including themselves”. ...
Only a few days ago, I got a call from the eldest daughter of a dear friend telling me that her Dad had passed way from a heart attack. Ian was at his work, and without any apparent warning, he collapsed and died. He was comparatively young and in good health. After the phone call, I was in a state of shock. We didn’t see each other a lot but we ...
Mother’s Day will be celebrated on Sunday 12 May and we encourage you to make it a big celebration. Motherhood and mothers need to be valued and appreciated a lot more than they do. You know the line by now, “The greatest thing a father can do for his children is to love his children’s mother.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zkprjeipGD4 Why is it that so many men just don’t get that? A key part ...
Henry Youngman, a comedian who was known as 'King of the One Liners' once said, "I was an atheist for a while, but I gave it up, no holy-days." Such a one liner about holy-days sums up the subject of this week's newsletter - Easter Family Holidays. Most of us celebrate Easter holidays but where did they come from and why do we celebrate them? Most countries in the world celebrate ...
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