On the weekend I headed to see the movie Bad Moms with a group of school mums whom I just love hanging out with and getting to know.
Let’s be honest, there was bad language and themes that were definitely for adult eyes only.
But the movie pointed out something that all of us mums need to know — we don’t really have it all together, no matter what type of façade we like to put across. We all wonder if we are doing a great job and measure how we’re doing by comparing ourselves to each other. Or we try and live up to a ridiculous expectation that we can do it all.
No matter how organised and together we look on the outside, on the inside we’re wondering if we’re doing the right thing by our kids. Sometimes we just don’t have it altogether the way we’d like to be perceived. I really loved the movie and think every mum should go to see it.
As I was reflecting over the weekend about the movie and my realities over this past year, I thought about all the bad things I do as a mum that I know I could do way better at. So I thought I’d share why being a bad mum makes me a good mum. Because I know I’m a good mum — I just sometimes don’t do a lot of things right.
12 Reasons Why Being a Bad Mum Makes Me a Good Mum
1. Sometimes I bribe my kids to get them to do what I want.
I’m a good mum for making the bribe a good deal.
2. I will escape to my office, or go out with girlfriends over witching hour hell, which is the dinner, bath and bed routine.
After a long day with the kids, I sometimes have little energy battling kids that won’t eat their dinner because they don’t like it, and fight in the bath over the same toy to finally find an excuse not to go to bed. Time out for me means I can be a better mum the next day.
3. I will eat all the chocolate during nap times.
This makes me a good mum because it removes the temptation for my kids to eat junk food.
4. I take my kids to the park so I’m doing something fun with them
But really I just want ten minutes of peace so I can respond to my emails and maybe read a blog or two that will help me get through my day.
5. My kids have every McDonald’s Happy Meal toy from the last couple of years, because I sometimes I can’t be bothered cooking.
We donate these toys to charity. My kids eat, needy kids get toys. It’s a win-win all round.
6. I’m often rushing (and running late) to school drop-off or church.
I don’t like running late, and I do want to raise my kids to be punctual, but I also want them to know they can live life to the full and use their time wisely before heading out the door.
7. My eldest daughter got a hole in her baby tooth because she drank too much watered down juice when she was little.
(In my defence, she was a very fussy eater and so my logic was at least the juice would fill her if food didn’t!) I was a bad mum for letting her drink more juice than she should have. I’m a good mum because I got the dentist to tell her why she could no longer drink juice and I now save $4.00 a week by not buying apple juice in my weekly shop. As a result, her younger sisters rarely drink it and have great teeth.
8. Sometimes the book that is read on Playschool is the only reading my younger girls get in the day.
I’m a bad mum because some days, I don’t get time to read books to my younger girls like I did with my eldest. I’m a good mum because I’ve got the TV on standby.
9. My kids are good with screens.
They know how to take photos, speak on Snapchat and they can work their way around the apps on my iPhone and iPad. I’m a good mum because they’re learning vital skills for when they’re at school, because by the time they are at school, all their learning will be done on screens. (Which as a side note I’m sad about, and I find it ironic that we get told as parents to limit our kids’ screen time at home, when the education system is looking at increasing screen time learning. What the heck?!)
10. I’m sometimes a bit lax about rules.
Sometimes I will let the kids play on the furniture, because it’s a distraction I don’t have to provide. If they hurt themselves, they will learn not to do it again. I sometimes let my girls fight so they can learn how to compromise. I also let them play with their food, because sometimes their shenanigans are just too funny and they provide potential photo opportunities for their 21st.
11. I swear. More than I have as a plumber.
It’s something I’m working on. But swearing gets the emotion out and doesn’t let me bottle it in. The bad part about this is that sometimes it is within ear’s reach of my girls. But I have taught my girls that bad language is bad and my girls aren’t afraid to pull me up on it. Despite being a bad mum, I’ve used this flaw to teach my kids what not to do, which is what every good mum should do.
12. I sometimes hurt my kids without meaning to… like shutting the car door on their fingers.
There is no good mum in this scenario other than apologising and comforting my kids and hoping they don’t reciprocate and slam the door on me when they are teenagers. #wishfulthinking
What bad mum things do you do that turn you into a good mum?
Originally published at The Plumbette. Photo by Danik Prihodko from Pexels.
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