Our family of origin makes leaving and cleaving complicated! When we marry, we each bring an inherited mental picture of what a spouse ‘should’ be. That makes things interesting...

January 3 is known as ‘divorce day’ – the most popular day for women to file for divorce. Perhaps because they’ve held it together for the festive season but can’t keep up the charade any longer. Sadly, most men don’t see it coming. Going through life blissfully unaware that their partner is desperately unhappy. I recently read an article in Psychology Today called “7 Relationship Resolutions Worth Keeping”. I’ve decided my New Year’s resolution ...

Bill runs his own business devoted to strengthening the relationship between children and parents. He artfully taps into the desire children and parents have for wholehearted connectedness. Bill simply prompts parents to maintain time and space in the relationship schedule for it to thrive. Bill shares with his parent and child audience various conversation starters to help them to sharpen up their skills to have the hearty conversations that make for ...

It’s a simple question, but sometimes it’s hard to get your children to answer it. Here’s what I discovered works when asking my son about his day at school. “How was school?” “Good.” “What did you get up to?” Silence. “Who did you play with?” Silence. My life has come to this. After years of begging my child to be quiet, now I’m pleading with him to talk to me! “You’re ...

Many people believe that a good relationship requires equal effort from both husband and wife. And so, if your spouse is unwilling to change or invest more in the marriage then the relationship is doomed to lack-lustre intimacy or even steady deterioration. This is not necessarily the case, however. It only takes one person to tango! While it is certainly ideal to have both spouses fully invested and contributing to the ...

Have you ever stopped to think about the importance of your marriage? Marriage is hard; is it worth it? In this post, Guy looks at why your marriage matters and gives you some thoughts you would be wise to ponder… When I got married at 22 years old, I had the wrong idea about marriage. I don’t think it was an unusual idea. Deep down, I thought that marriage would make ...

Cherish is a seven letter word and full of meaning. My first thought of the word is the way the NRL Grand Final winning team held onto the winners’ trophy, a trophy highly treasured by one and all. Perhaps the real meaning of the word cherish happened at the same event when Brian To’o put love into action. News.com.au puts us in the picture. Moments after the final siren, To’o found ...

What’s the Difference Between Respect and Cherishment? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred being alone and unloved, compared to only a minority of women.* Further enquiry suggests that this gender pattern is relevant ...

The best marriage advice I have ever received came from an 80-year-old, Scottish widow. Sitting beside her a few weeks before my wedding she told me, “The only marriage advice I’ll give you is this: cherish.” The word didn’t come with any commentary, and I would spend the next 23 years unpacking its meaning and value. My wife and I married young. We even recited vows that included the words, “to ...

Although we all pursue it in different ways, friendship is a natural part of human life. It is critical that parents pray for their children to gain quality lifelong friends. When it comes to friendships I tend to be a drifter. I don’t actually have a best friend. My best friend is Jacob. I do have close relationships with friends that if there was ever a family emergency or a Birthday ...

When extreme perfectionism becomes embroiled in a family context, it invariably leads to deep discontent. This is part 1 in a series on perfectionism and how to find peace in the midst of it. When you get right down to it, most perfectionists are searching for peace. Basically, we want to be able to look around at the world we’ve created and proclaim, like our Creator, “Everything is very good” and so ...

Did you know that you can mess up most things about being a dad to your daughter and yet still raise a successful young woman? You just need to answer one question for her. In this post, Guy explains what that is and how you can answer it. Being a dad can be complicated.  Anyone who is a dad knows this well. I remember well the months and even years leading ...

A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions.   Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained?  When the time came to do the pickup, the trainer talked about ‘trigger stacking’. This is the idea that stresses on the ...

Do you have the right skills to resolve the conflicts in your life? In this podcast episode, Brian Noble shares a simple but powerful 4-step process to resolving conflicts. Resolving Conflict Podcast What do you do when you find yourself in conflict with someone, either personally or within or part of an organisation? How do you resolve conflict properly so that it doesn’t come up again? And can I resolve conflict ...

In October a few years ago, the Australian bishops called the entire Catholic community to pray for marriage and family. The initiative was joined by around thirty other Christian churches making it the largest ever prayer campaign in the nation. It raises the question: does prayer really make a difference? Cynics might say that a prayer campaign is just a badly disguised way of making a value statement. It’s certainly true ...

We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”, surprised us; the most requested item among eleven options was, ‘Improving Communication’. Communication and Relationships Why the surprise? Everybody knows that communication is foundational to happy relationships. The surprise is that most people we talk to believe that they are already ...

Fatherhood is an adventure like no other, but most men are not ready when they jump and are left trying to catch up right from the start. But fatherhood can be done well. In this podcast, 4 men with 29 kids share some secrets on how. Fatherhood.  It is a word that means so many things.  Joy to some, pain to others and everything in-between. For those of us who are ...

In the midst of the lockdown, we cannot go to the gym, so my wife and I walk every morning to keep fit. We both enjoy each other’s presence, so we hold hands when we walk. Fight to Stay in Love One morning recently a woman who walked past us regularly said, “You are my role models for love.” I felt like saying, “Yes, but you have to fight to stay ...