Marriage on Fire
Every marriage, ours included, has ‘bad fire seasons’. It’s inevitable; when two people commit their lives to each other and then get busy, tired and stressed, we can only expect trouble.
Displacing Contempt with Respect
Contempt has been identified as a corrosive relationship pattern among couples headed for bust. An expression of despisal, contempt is the toxic cousin to criticism.
The Art of Apology
Have you ever experienced the situation when someone has apologised but, while the words were said it lacked something, making it difficult for you to accept it? Sadly, most of us are not as good at apologising as we need to be. We think that it’s obvious, should just be instinctual, or that our love should somehow make it magically work. Well, it isn’t obvious, and it is not instinctual. We ...
Three Ways to a Resilient Marriage
We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly a lot of stress going around with pandemic-induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience -- the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite a bit of information on personal resilience, and it’s a buzzword in education these days, but ...
How my ‘Deadbeat’ Dad Inspires Me to Be a Better Father
I am thankful for my "deadbeat" dad and encouraged by his example. Why? Because his mistakes have taught me what not to do as a father! Among the most inspirational figures in my life – who encourages my parenting style and has a significant impact on me – is my "deadbeat" dad. He wasn't a successful father, but his failures have helped me try and avoid failures of my own. I ...
Making Love, Not War
‘Love and War’ by John & Stasi Eldredge is the book you need to read if you want to ‘make more love than war’. Yes, I already have one hundred percent of the male readership of the Dads4Kids newsletter’s attention. ‘Making love’ is high on a man’s priority list. Seriously guys, this really is a book you need to read. Unfortunately so many marriages end up in open warfare and of ...
Last Words to Dads
Only a few days ago, I got a call from the eldest daughter of a dear friend telling me that her Dad had passed way from a heart attack. Ian was at his work, and without any apparent warning, he collapsed and died. He was comparatively young and in good health. After the phone call, I was in a state of shock. We didn’t see each other a lot but we ...
Good-bye
(A goodbye letter written by a mate.) Dear Jane, Even though it will probably take you only five minutes to read this, if you read it at all, it took me a long time to write it. It also took a lot of courage to speak my mind and my heart. I hope you don’t see this as an attack on you, it’s not. Forgive me for my anger, it’s necessary. ...
