Do you struggle with behaviours that you can’t change, and can’t understand where they come from? Or perhaps you still harbour guilt and shame, or blame yourself for not having a father in your life? The impacts of being fatherless at some key point in our lives can have devastating consequences that we might not even be aware of. Listen to Jack Thurston’s story and his proven solutions to the impacts ...

We all get a bit of shock pretty early on in married life. For some, it is day 1: “This isn’t what I expected!” At some point, you will probably find yourself asking yourself the question: Is marriage worth it? Are you married?  How has it been going for you lately?  You wouldn’t be the first person to stop and ask yourself that question. Most of us men enter into marriage ...

Thanks so much for all the wonderful help with the End of Financial Year ‘Help the Children’ Appeal. Your giving will help Dads4Kids to keep going. The good news is, we are just over halfway to our target. I am sure we will get there in the end, but it just might take a bit more time. If you would still like to support the Dads4Kids Help Children Appeal, please DONATE ...

What is worse than death of a partner in a relationship? For those who have been through it, finding your partner has cheated on you brings pain that can seem to be impossible to deal with. How will your relationship survive? How will you survive? What about the kids? In this blogpost and podcast, Phil will give you hope and a pathway forward that works. Help! My Partner Has Had An ...

Change is stressful, so we all need tips on how to deal with change. Real Talk 4 Real Men episode 56. Change brings on stress, and so in part 3 of Thrive Through Change, we dedicate an entire episode on how to deal with stress. We all know that when negative things are going on in our lives, it causes stress. Things like a relationship breakup, a job redundancy, a health ...

Anyone who has been a father and then a stepfather knows that they aren’t the same. While many aspects of these two roles are similar, it is the unique ones that lead to disillusionment. Franklin put it this way: “I’ve been to every Promise Keepers conference and I’ve studied fathering with my men’s group many times. But nothing has prepared me for being a stepfather. With my own kids I have a ...

Dads in Distress hold weekly meetings to enable fathers who are affected by relationship and custody issues to come together in an atmosphere geared toward practical support, progress and healing. We don’t denigrate woman at our meetings, in fact we encourage men to look in the mirror to understand what part of the blame they own, if any. We simply guide men to become the cause of their future and not ...

Yesterday I heard a disturbing story. My friend rang me to share how his son had recently gone through a very sad divorce. He shared with his Dad how the unreality of the digital world, that many young people live in today, was a major contributor to his divorce and his general lack of wellbeing. My friend’s son pointed out that after a while, for the inhabitant of the digital world, ...

The DIDs story, Part 1. My name is Tony Miller, and I am the founder and national coordinator of a group called Dads in Distress, a dedicated support group of men whose immediate concern is to stem the present trend of male suicide due to the trauma of divorce or separation. Current statistics indicate that 5.3 males per day or 37 males per week (ABS Information Paper, Suicides 2001) will take ...

Fatherhood; it’s the best of times, it’s the worst of times. Sorry Charles Dickens for stealing your thunder, but it’s true. Being a dad is one of the most wonderful things to ever happen to me, as well as one of the most terrifying. I’ve been a father for 11 years now, which is long enough to be able to reflect somewhat on the journey so far, and also long enough ...

Dads4Kids often gets heartbreaking calls from single dads who have been shut out of their children’s lives in the process of family breakup. We have advocated at a parliamentary level for a fair go for single dads who can’t see their kids. Sadly, the changes to the system have been wound back. The legal bias and the complex problems single fathers face as a result are beyond human understanding. Sadly, we ...

The team at Dads4Kids is so thankful to the three daring dads who featured in the Decorate Dad Challenge video. One of those amazing dads is Ashton Reed. Last Thursday, Ashton and his three beautiful children agreed to be featured in the TV story about why he took the Decorate Dad Challenge so seriously. To the joy of his children, they had the opportunity to decorate Dad all over again for ...

Robert Falzon, a good friend of mine in the men’s movement, asked me to contribute a chapter to his new book called Raising Fathers: Fathering from the Frontline — 12 Men’s Stories. Here is an excerpt from my contribution. It was a fine weather Sunday in this small resort town. The café was full of people having their lunch. No one seemed to recall seeing the young man with blonde hair ...

“Love is a many-splendored thing” is the title of a popular song from the fifties. Many people would argue the sanity of that song and concur instead with Shakespeare who said, “Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage”! Nobody would disagree with you if you said that our world is in the middle of a marriage crisis. In Australia, one in every three marriages ends in divorce. In America, it ...

We need women. That’s a line that all men can agree on, but not always for the right reasons. Feminism only gained ground in the 1890’s when men became vocal supporters of a woman’s right to vote. In those days, in a court of law, a woman did not have the same rights as a man. Thankfully, this has changed, but as always, the pendulum has swung too far. Now, in ...

‘What Children Want Most is a Ban on Divorce, Says Poll’ was a headline in a major UK paper several years ago. The poll question was: “What rules would you make if you ruled the world as King or Queen?” #BanDivorce was the number one request. Nationwide research of children under 10 years of age was carried out by Luton First, sponsors and organisers of National Kids’ Day. Patricia Murchie of ...

Well-known UK commentator Peter Hitchens in an article called ‘So Much for Father’s Day’ said, “By the end of his or her childhood, a British boy or girl is much more likely to have a TV set in the bedroom than a father at home. Our 45 year war against traditional family life has been so successful that almost 50% of 15 year olds no longer live with both their parents.” ...

We start the school year knowing that Australia’s educational standards are dropping and yet Australians, on a median basis, are the wealthiest people group in the world. Is more money spent on education the answer, or is something else the missing part of the educational puzzle? Educational experts in Australia have argued in favour of billions of dollars of extra government funding to be spent on education to help Australia return ...

In the Absent movie, which will soon be touring Australia, 13-29 June 2013, John Eldredge, author of ‘Wild at Heart’ says, “If you take snapshots of western culture right now the prognosis is not good”. David Blankenhorn has stated in ‘Fatherless America’ written in 1996, “Fatherlessness is the most harmful demographic trend of this generation”. Dave Kopel, in his article called ‘Fatherlessness: The Root Cause’ says: As Pat Moynihan wrote in ...

As Christmas is once again upon us, I would like to share a story that I guess explains what Dads in Distress is all about. It happened a few years ago in the very early days of forming DIDS, and certainly inspired me to continue the work. I was sitting in a  DIDS meeting sharing my story. It was early days into separation, then divorce. It was coming up to Christmas, ...